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Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,356 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
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Today's Least Interesting Article
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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The future
November 4: Artifical Limb Awareness Diurnal Period
- 1 CE - Jesus is born. Judaism prepares for a storm, as Jesus sports an artificial positronic brain, contrary to scripture.
- 200 - Oedipus: One Bad Mothafucka drops, released on Mythic Records, goes triple platinum.
- 1600 and something - Descartes decides the mind is separate from the body, through logical reasoning and skeptical doubt. Jewishism prepares for a storm, as minds are contrary to scripture.
- 1617 - William Shakespeare is arrested for posting his crabs to The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects that!
- 1939 - After centuries of waiting, Judaism gets its storm.
- 2001 - God wins the Mega-Ball lottery. A fix is suspected.
- 2006 - Ikea declares war on Hinduism.
- 2007 – Sikorsky Aircraft and Swarovski Crystal merge and become Sikofwarskiski Crystal Aircraft. Their first project code named “The Flying Glass Thingy” shatters into a million pieces upon landing, rendering it useless. U.S. government purchases 2,839 units.
- 2008 - Thanks to ACORN, Americans can vote in the 2008 United States Presidential Election on Uncyclopedia.
- 2008 - George W. Bush defeats Saddam Hussein in the United States presidential election of 2008.
- 2009 - The list of people who steal lists is stolen.
- 2012 - Mexicans win the gold, silver, and bronze in Olympic lawnmowing.
- 2013 - The Australian federal election is won unanimously by the country's new "democratic" leader identifying himself only as LMS and ruling with an iron fist. All poor people are immediately evicted from the country. The economy booms.
- 2030 - We lose Waldo.
- 2517 - Malcolm Reynolds is elected president. His 7-year term will be abruptly cancelled after only 11 weeks.
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