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Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,359 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
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Today's Least Interesting Article
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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The future
November 12: Lightning Awareness Day (worldwide), Scheissenfest (Austria), Japanese Remembrance Day (Japan)
- 1513 - In one of his lesser known works, Mein Scheisskampf, Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his scheisse as a weapon. No shit.
- 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
- 1775 - American Revolutionary War: the Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields.
- 1934 - Over a largish tankard of Guinness, the Irish House of Commons makes buggery illegal.
- 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush.
- 1881 - The third elemental form of lightning is created. Worshipers rejoice, detractors masturbate silently.
- 1889 - Washington is admitted as a state of the Union; is propped up at a podium to give a speech despite the obvious decay.
- 1918 - Germany signs a pact to be prissy for the next twenty-one years until an Austrian prick screws it all up.
- 1930 - Albert Einstein and some dude you don't know receive a patent for the Einstein refrigerator. No bullshit.
- 1955 - Marty McFly completes the first successful time travel experiment after lightning strikes the Hill Valley clock tower.
- 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer.
- 1998 - Marty McFly travels in time to record a porn video with Paris Hilton. It becomes known as Knock the Back Outta Ya 2.
- 2007 - Doritos chili cheese lime are invented, thus changing the future of crunchy snacks as we know it.
More predictions
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