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Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,404 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.
Today's Least Interesting Article
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
More of the worst of Uncyclopedia
The future
May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day
- 12,000 BCE - Og the caveman wears a Ramones t-shirt despite having never heard them, making him the world's first poser.
- 10,000 BCE - Blue-eyed bitch is saved by mastodons and or mammoths really who cares it was a terrible movie. oh yeah , there was a sabertooth tiger!!!!1
- 274 BCE - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin. It doesn't take long before a new search is started.
- 137 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, That's My Arc, officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
- 1514 - Fred Astaire announces, "Jesus is a foo'." Angry fans eat records and quickly find that vinyl is addictive.
- 1851 - Oscar Wilde appears on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
- 1851 - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is cancelled.
- 1934 - Ban on oak, termites allergic.
- 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Foos Babaganoush finally finds Stalin's cheese grater.
- 2001 - Snoop Doggy Dog is mysteriously murdered by one of his bitches. "Faw Shizzle," replies rapper R Kelly.
- 2005 - AOL frisbees become popular.
- 2006 - 400th birthday of the pelvic thrust. Show us how it's done!
- 2008 - Due to the hatred of people who watch Grey's Anatomy instead of The Office and Scrubs, James Madison kills every person who watches that show.
- 2010 - The Cleveland Show is a huge success and Family Guy is canceled.
- 2014 - Tom Cruise loses all hope of being a legendary hero and returns to his home world.
- 2460 - Axe deodorant officially banned from the United States, the first good decision ever made by a president.
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