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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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| On this day...
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October 24: Evil Villain Appreciation Day, National Put the Ramones On at Full Volume and Piss Off the Neighbors Day
- 1683 BCE - An evil villain ties an Egyptian princess to the Nile River to have her killed by the Aswan ferry boat.
- 452 BCE - Hippocrates invents the painkiller aspirin by banging his head against a willow tree.
- 1644 - Unseasonable temperatures cause handlebar moustaches to rise out of the oceans and attach themselves to the upper lips of the unwary.
- 1867 - After mass revolt by the Australian and New Zealand governments, Oilcan Harry becomes guardian of UCT.
- 1889 - First recorded use of pure-hearted maiden strapped to railroad tracks to attract a ransom; the deed, while dastardly, merely attracts Royal Canadian Mounted Police who save the girl and thwart the plan.
- 1931 - Polish schoolboy Joseph Ratzinger is arrested for arson, rape and general troublemaking. The Pope declares this day an International Catholic holiday.
- 1941 - Hitler writes the lyrics of Blitzkrieg Bop. It later becomes a hit song by The Ramones.
- 1943 - Morocco becomes the capital of evil villains; they are simply fed up to "here" with Hitler's needy personality.
- 1969 - Your second grade teacher, mean old Miss Masters™, takes away your favorite doll and holds it ransom. The beeyotch demands that you earn an "A" on your spelling test or "Dolly gets it".
- 1971 - Evel Knievel ateempts a new world record by jumping his motorcycle over 227 women tied to railroad tracks.
- 1977 - Habitat for Humanity contemplates rebuilding the Big Bad Wolf's house for charity. Instead it decides on euthanasia as a more cost-sensitive option.
- 2006 - Evangelist Billy Graham holds a Ramones concert; all of Canada kept awake until 3AM.
- 2008 - Stockbroker Oilcan Harry IV twirls his mustache and laughs gleefully as the stock market crashes the day after he cashes out.
- 2017 - Oilcan Harry IV becomes US Secretary of the Treasury and promises to tie women to railroad tracks for ransom in order to balance the budget.
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| Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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