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Today's featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity.
The monster's given name was Asterix, suggested by some visiting Celts from Gaul.
The beast is typically described in painting and sculpture as having a human body and a bull's head. Some writers have described him the other way around. Considering the combinations possible, it is a wonder that the Minotaur didn't end up as an amalgamation of two different butts.
Experts in Greek mythology suspect that if the Minotaur were born female, then the Borden's company would have adopted its mascot and symbol much, much earlier. The storyline would also then have been much different. Historians agree that the tale would have ended up as some sort of lesbian fanfic, which is within the canon of the soap opera that is Greek mythology. (more...)
Previously featured article – The Witcher
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| On this day...
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September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God!
- Infinity BCE - God is born.
- 13 trillion BCE - God receives the universe as a birthday present and breaks it six days later.
- 3200 BCE - S'dhkai, a Canaanite, is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
- 2500 KFC - Israelites hold a birthday party for God, mistake him for a gold cow.
- 1 CE - God has His first child... with hilarious results!
- 1000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world, but cancels at the last minute.
- 1609 - Gordon Edgeway and George Bennett are fused together in a nuclear fusion reaction; the resulting matter is named Gordon Bennett.
- 1873 - The Panic of 1873 begins.
- 1874 - The Drinking Binge of 1874 begins.
- 1875 - The Mother of All Headaches begins.
- 1997 - National referendum in Wales - an overwhelming majority (87.13%) vote yes on a motion to send out for pizza.
- 1998 - Jenna Jameson beats off stiff competition to take an Oscar for her part in 7-Up.
- 2000 - God is scheduled to make a special birthday speech to the world from Paris, but cancels at the last minute again. Rioting ensues.
- 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha's bathroom.
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| Word of the Day
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procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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*... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that vandalism is fukcing queer haha gay?
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| Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| Tide Pods Candy.JPG - 6 total votes ( 6 / 0 )
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Image credit: Insert image credits here
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| Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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