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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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| On this day...
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November 7: Blowjob Appreciation Day (Canada)
- 521 - The Visigoths opt out of sacking Rome for the third time in a row, preferring to sit around in the dark and complain about how horrible life is while listening to whiny synthesized music.
- 1951 - General Jack Ripper becomes the first and last man to reject a blowjob in order to preserve the purity of his bodily fluids.
- 1985 - The People's Republic of Lasconia nuked off the map and subsequently wiped from everyone's memory.
- 1993 - The state of Iowa closes for cleaning.
- 1996 - NASA launches the Mars Global Surveyor to search the universe for Mars Bars.
- 1999 - President Bill Clinton, a native-born Canadian, celebrates his favorite Canadian holiday. Republicans feel left out.
- 2005 - Kate Bush's first album in 27 years, the 27 disk set Antenna, is released in 27 countries simultaneously with only 27 copies available in each, selling out in 27 minutes.
- 2006 - Stephen Fry suicide bombs the houses of Parliament and the White House simultaneously. his last words are, 'Don't fuck with Shakespeare! He's watching you!!'
- 2006 - The US midterm erections are marked by a series of negative political adverts and lots of Viagra. (Oops, did I say 'Viagra'? I meant 'pee pee medicine'.)
- 2007 - Gregorian calendar is rearranged into 13 months. Each month is now comprised of 4 weeks of 7 days. The extra month is placed between July and August and is called Fred. New Years Eve is discarded as a day 'just to make it all work nicely'. As a result, each 364 day year has no ending and the space time continuum is tossed into an infinite loop. This minor oversight is rectified the day before our universe fades out of existence.
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| Word of the Day
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procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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*... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents?
- ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it?
- ... that Yashasvi Jaiswal sold panipuri whilst living in a tent before he became the youngest List A double centurion in both cricket and snack food sales?
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| Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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