From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
| Today's Featured Article
|
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
|
| On this day...
|
|
April 15: Auditoria Begins (IRS)
- 1 BCE - The IRS meets; thousands mourn.
- 997 - King Æthelred the Unready finds himself in line at the post office near midnight to send in his request for an extension and suddenly realizes he's not an American.
- 1612 - Cotton Mather, in the midst of a bad day, has a revelation that leads to the foundation of a new faith.
- 1726 - The potato chip invented; thousands gorge.
- 1912 - The Titanic is torpedoed by The Empire off the coast of Newfoundland. Icebergs are blamed.
- 1912 - Dozens of innocent Polar bears are severely injured as their iceberg is struck by an overrated piece of metal.
- 1920 - The head of the IRS is arrested for tax evasion. Ironic, no?
- 1933 - Karl Marx and his brothers Lenny, Joey, and Leon star in the zany slapstick hit Opiate of the Molasses. (pictured)
- 1944 - The first weapon of mass destruction is invented in Switzerland, but nobody notices as it is made of cheese.
- 1947 - Jackie Robinson breaks the color barrier, then reimburses Major League Baseball for it.
- 2001 - Joey Ramone dies, taking straight-ahead rock 'n' roll with him. Black leather jacket sales plummet.
- 2014 - The US Air Force begins bombing US cities as they have already bombed every other place on the planet.
|
|
| Word of the Day
|
deviation
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
|
| In the news
|
|
| Did you know...
|
*... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that you need to stop reading this page and get a job?
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Writer and Noob of the Month
|
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
37,400 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages:
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
Main Page
