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Today's Featured Article

Today's featured article – Rastadon

The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.

The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – The Addams Family

The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)

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On this day...

May 12: Barry Manilow Appreciation Day, International Zombie Awareness Day (US, Canada)

1854 - Outbreak of zombie attacks, causes many deceased voters to form their own party. There was no beer and many people died.
1877 - Oscar Wilde pens his poem Sonnet to Liberty, advocating socialism and decrying many contemporary fashion trends.
1881 - In North Africa, Tunisia becomes a French protectorate, and thus enjoys its last noteworthy moment for nearly 100 years, until the filming of Star Wars there in 1977.
1943 - Barry Manilow is born. He will become a feral child raised by a biker gang.
1973 - Manilow forms KISS but leaves due to creative differences and makeup allergies.
1974 - Depressed mood ring commits suicide. (pictured)
1985 - The Book of the Dead is discovered by a 12-year-old child in London and sold for 3 baseball cards and a Jefferson Starship cassette tape.
1987 - The Book of the Dead is set to music by Barry Manilow; more mood rings commit suicide.
2003 - Pocahontas sells her memoir Hokey Pokey: Frolicking, Singing, and Doing a White Guy to Disney, which is subsequently made into a popular children's movie.
2004 - The zombie of Walter Cronkite rises from the ground to report on the Alabama Tri-County Kitten Pageant.
2009 - The late great Dr. Emmett Brown travels back in time to warn America of the future communist dick-tater El Presidente "Bha-rock Obomb-ba" or as we know him as, Presidenture Barack Obama. No one listens to him and our fate has been sealed.
2011 - Zompocalypse. Only the nerds were prepared as hordes of ~~Bieber Fans~~ zombies take over the meat factories.
2012 - Star Wars Kid rolls an 8. Zombies die (for real this time).

More anniversaries...

Word of the Day
rubbish Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
In the news
Ukraine minister charged with corruption French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end UnNews Front Page UnNews – Need advice? Ask Cthulhu!
Did you know...
... that it was I who let the dogs out? ... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons? Archive* – Suggest new entries

Today's featured picture

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CheckpointCharlieSign.png

CheckpointCharlieSign.png - 5 fugitive(s) ( 5 / 0 )

Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it.

Image credit: ScottPat

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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many ~~months~~ years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!

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