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Today's Featured Article

Today's featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

On this day...
Don't ask me, I'm just a logo

January 9: Triple Entendre Day

  • 1559 - Michel de Nostredame correctly predicts the French king will break his nose and is forever remembered as Nostrildamus.
  • 1904 - England, France and Russia agree to the Triple Entente, intent on making the most triple entendres. After several fruitless years, they would only have the triple burger and triple-thick shakes to show for their efforts.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler plays "ball" with Neville Chamberlain.
  • 1982 - Tony Danza "eats" a "banana" and looks stupid in slow motion.
  • 1987 - Saddam Hussein "gasses" the Kurds, but it ends up being very painful.
  • 1996 - Andreas Karoliussen, famous Georgian actor, gets fontanellized by the young musician Kanye West.
  • 2002 - Osama bin Laden is voted "Man of the Year" by Time Magazine, after all the charity work he did in 2001 for Islamic organizations and networks.
  • 2010 - Starbucks starts a promotion with Paris Hilton to continue helping young tweens aspire to be fashion whores with no hope of breaking the glass ceiling.
  • 2011 - The term "high school" is abolished after complaints from parents suggesting that it's "too politically correct".
Word of the Day
procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
In the news

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Did you know...
*... the White House is really off-white?
  • ... that Wikipedia tells us that Drypetes gerrardii, a South African tree, was named after William Gerrard, a botanical collector active in the 1860s?
    • ... and it is a contest to see which of us could care less?
Today's featured picture


[vote]

Nukemeifyoucan2.jpg

Nukemeifyoucan2.jpg - 21.5 mushroom clouds on the horizon. ( 23.5 / 2 )
Nukemeifyoucan2.jpg

Now showing at all good Middle-Eastern warzones near you!

Image credit: Olipro

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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