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Today's featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.
At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.
 Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany. After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)
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| On this day...
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 Don't cry for me, I'm already dead. January 5: International Day of Minor Hubris
- 1653 BCE - Minoans run with scissors after inventing them, with predictable results.
- 1011 BCE - The Greeks invent hubris and feel pretty smug about it.
- 1632 - As if anything was going to happen in the 1600s.
- 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms.
- 1794 - The French start to use Leonardo da Vinci's crude design of the helicopter to speed up growing guillotine queues.
- 1838 - Samuel Morse invents the first electrical telegraph and immediately sends out his first message: "49/m/nyc STOP any girls up 4 cyber? STOP."
- 1938 - Scrooge McDuck founds the Bilderberg Group so he can charge for food, drink and lodging during the conferences.
- 1955 - Birth of whiskey maker and drunk-driving victim Johnnie Walker, the Johnnie Walker Act of 1990 being named in his honor.
- 1992 - In an emotional speech, IG-88 comes out to the world to announce he has tested positive for the Michelangelo Virus.
- 1994 - Richard Nixon dies. His body isn't discovered for another fifteen weeks due to the fact that no one cared to check.
- 1998 - Birds suddenly begin evolving backward and reverting to dinosaurs, upsetting fans of Charles Darwin.
- 2003 - Arnold Schwarzenegger is inaugurated Governor of California, announces that he intends to cut the state's deficit, improve education, and find a woman named "Sarah Connor".
- 2004 - Fox News denies reporting showing favor to Republicans and dismisses it as "a left-wing conspiracy out to target our saviour of all things freedom, George W. Bush."
- 2005 - Eris is located via a massive telescope, and an argument follows about what a planet is. Once they come into agreement on this, astronomers proceed to argue over whether Pluto counts as a planet or not.
- 2009 - President Barack Obama is sworn into office. Entire world thanks God his name isn't Bush. Or George. Or Hussein.
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| Word of the Day
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procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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| Did you know...
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*... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
- ... that the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed because engineers had failed to convert measurements in fathoms and rods to the metric system?
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| Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| SistineGraffiti.png - 17 total votes ( 17 / 0 )
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A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred."
Image credit: Zombiebaron
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| Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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