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Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Minotaur

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The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

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The future

"Carp de Diem!"

October 28: National Realism Day, 2nd Bolognese Day (First Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster), Carp de Diem (US: Day of the Goldfish), Feast Day of Saint Jude usually celebrated by going "Nah, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey Jude" for fifteen minutes

  • 65 CE - Saint Jude is martyred when someone tries to axe him a question.
  • 977 - Japanese try hard to train carp with no success. They would later find out the fish were just being koi.
  • 1066 - William the Bad Motherfucker PWNZ the Saxon army. Maybe they should have stopped playing so much damn jazz and maybe picked up a sword, eh?
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba, stocks up on Cuban cigars, Che Guevara memorabilia.
  • 1793 - Eliphalet Remington, American firearms manufacturer, was born. Americans traditionally celebrate his birthday by turning to the person on their left and shooting them.
  • 1942 - The Alaska-Canadian (Alcan) Highway is completed, allowing Alaskans easy access to thousands of pounds of primo BC bud.
  • 1955 - John McClane born in Yippee-Ki-Yay, MF.
  • 1955 - Bill Gates is born. Biblical scholars widely regard this as one of the signs of the End Times described by the Bible in Revelations 4:16 – "Yea, and there shall come a great Monopolist, and this Octopus shall cast his tentacles wide, and He shall spread darkness upon the land, in the form of buggy software, security holes, and poor interface design".
  • 1962 - As the world steps away from the brink of nuclear war, people of all nations find they just got a huge dose of reality. They then grab a snack and the sugar rush returns them to stupid thoughts.
  • 2001 - God loses concentration for a minute and the sun sets on the British Empire, the British take this opportunity to take the whole world... bar France... again. Why can the frogs never be conquered?!?!?
  • 2010 - Old MacDonald claims that Michael Jackson appeared to him, on his farm, dressed as Captain EIEIO.
  • 2012 - America realizes they were responsible for the worst genocide of them all and give the country back to the Indians. Indians find it is more broken than expected and move to another galaxy.

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