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Today's Least Interesting Article
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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The future
April 30: Obscure Pop Cultural Reference Day
- 1026 - The first casualty in the on-going Pirate-Ninja War of the Ages occurs.
- 1794 - The Battle of Cat Boulou is fought. The French actually win one.
- 1889 - Hitler rises. So do many cakes and loaves of bread.
- 1945 - Hitler falls. And he can't get up.
- 1959 - Grandpa drops a Mento into his glass of Coke. A huge catastrophe occurs.
- 1962 - Four legs found to be good, with two legs considered less favourably.
- 1969 - Vietnam vets declare 'You weren't there man!' for the first time.
- 1989 - Some proles invent 'New Wave of Ingsoc Heavy Metal', Minitrue approved, with BB. Doubleplusgood.
- 1997 - I for one welcome our insect overlords.
- 2001 - HAL declares 'I'm sorry, Dave, but I cannot touch this'.
- 2005 - Frank Joseph Snape gets away with the murder of ex-girlfriend Debbie Dumbledore, despite the fact that everybody already knew about it.
- 2010 - 1001 Things to Do With a Flaming Appendage ousts the Bible as the most famous and successful book of all time.
- 2019 - Road Rules Mars begins broadcasting. MTV immediately cancels the series after all participants including the filming crew are killed by an asteroid.
- 2056 - Harry Potter dies after a long battle with imaginary herpes.
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