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God has inspired us to demolish 37,386 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.


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Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

More of the worst of Uncyclopedia


The future

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January 9: Triple Entendre Day

  • 1559 - Michel de Nostredame correctly predicts the French king will break his nose and is forever remembered as Nostrildamus.
  • 1904 - England, France and Russia agree to the Triple Entente, intent on making the most triple entendres. After several fruitless years, they would only have the triple burger and triple-thick shakes to show for their efforts.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler plays "ball" with Neville Chamberlain.
  • 1982 - Tony Danza "eats" a "banana" and looks stupid in slow motion.
  • 1987 - Saddam Hussein "gasses" the Kurds, but it ends up being very painful.
  • 1996 - Andreas Karoliussen, famous Georgian actor, gets fontanellized by the young musician Kanye West.
  • 2002 - Osama bin Laden is voted "Man of the Year" by Time Magazine, after all the charity work he did in 2001 for Islamic organizations and networks.
  • 2010 - Starbucks starts a promotion with Paris Hilton to continue helping young tweens aspire to be fashion whores with no hope of breaking the glass ceiling.
  • 2011 - The term "high school" is abolished after complaints from parents suggesting that it's "too politically correct".

More predictions

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