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Today's Least Interesting Article
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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The future
February 9: International Tourettes Day
- 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to FIRECROTCH their FIRECROTCH with a FIRECROTCH.
- 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, FIRECROTCH happens.
- 1222 - FIRECROTCH.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets FIRECROTCH.
- 1812 - Canada and The United States go to FIRECROTCH war. Nobody FIRECROTCH notices.
- 1914 - Throngs of tourists visit the US on this day only to find it is actually FIRECROTCH Tourettes Day. They FIRECROTCH stay, because they feel like they are in FIRECROTCH Paris.
- 1960 - Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spews out.
- 1965 - Wham-O's Superball is introduced and becomes a runaway hit, because people love to play with balls.
- 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to FIRECROTCH fall asleep.
- 2006 - Dick Cheney gets on stage with Aerosmith to sing Cheney's Got a Gun. FIRECROTCH.
- 2008 - Steve FIRECROTCH Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to FIRECROTCHING KILL™ them instead.
- 2009 - Kanye West is sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME, DOG.
- 2010 - Taylor Swift wins at the VMA's again, except this time when Kanye West tries to bring his drunken ass up, she punches him in the nose, where he then falls on Beyoncé, who is so surprised, she screams. This alerts her bodyguards, who then tackle Kanye West and beat the crap out of him. That night he succumbs to his injuries, and Taylor Swift goes back up to the microphone. "I'm sorry, y'all, but Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths of all time! Of all time!"
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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