Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,405 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.
Today's Least Interesting Article
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
More of the worst of Uncyclopedia
The future
February 21: Killer Bee 10K Run Day
- 2 million BCE - A bird species, later called the African Honey Guide, learns to lead humans to beehives to get them to take all the stinging punishment while robbing a hive. Nearly comatose humans would then leave a portion of honey for the birds. Bees would put up a fight but concede it was better than the old days where a Tyrannosaurus Rex would just eat the whole hive and the tree it was on.
- c.3500 BCE - Egyptians domesticate the wild bee, forcing them to build pyramids and temples. Moses the Bee begins a revolt and leads her hive out of Egypt, leaving Pharoah with nothing to put on his toast.
- 1415 - French knights test armor made of mashed potatoes. No knights survive to make a negative report, so production goes into full swing.
- 1822 - Farley Upham trains bees to make their honey in glass jars, revolutionizing the industry.
- 1903 - The Wright Brothers fly the first bumblebee, after being told it couldn't be done.
- 1922 - The first bee movie is made, Bee Guiled.
- 1942 - Sea bees extend their range throughout the Pacific islands. They are ignored by whales who prefer salty snacks.
- 1957 - A descendent of Moses the Bee leads multiple Africanized bee colonies out of Brazil to the promised land, apparently Saskatchewan, Canada. They mow down hundreds of humans in their path acquiring the "killer bee" (KB) moniker causing dyslexics to flee from Burger King (BK) signs.
- 1960 - The Bee-Jesus is born in Harmony, Australia.
- 1961 - Bees begin making honey in bear-shaped containers, increasing sales many times. Bears then attempt to sell themselves in bee-shaped containers, with tragic results.
- 2010 - Long-distance running becomes popular as more people encounter killer bees.
More predictions
|
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,405 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:
For completely unrelated IRC chat, you may try killing yourself.
Under attack by the Unfair Use Clause, and a squad of magical girls.
Main Page
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
|
