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Today's Least Interesting Article
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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The future
February 4: International Nobody Does Anything Interesting Day
- 1204 BCE - Romanian peasants weary of their oppressive king, gather and march in a group 100,000 strong on the capitol. They present a list of demands to the king, who comes out of his castle and yells at the crowd. Everyone grumbles and they all go home.
- 220 - Emperor Cao Cao of the Han Dynasty, knowing the end is near, has the imperial chef make him his favorite sandwich.
- 1066 - Celtic warlords, finding the weather too poor to do battle, take a water break.
- 1142 - Starving peasants in medieval Brandenburg continue to starve.
- 1210 - Genghis Khan once again levels a city to the ground and kills all its residents just out of force of habit. This time, he carelessly allows someone's pet gerbil to live. Knowing she is only a gerbil but with a heart full of revenge, she digs a burrow and waits, only to be eaten by a snake later that day.
- 1366 - Cake doughnuts with frosting replace plain ones as a favorite in Austria.
- 1877 - Charles Dickens has constipation, contemplates going to the doctor.
- 1943 - Hitler finds some time out of his day to play with his dog Blondi.
- 1968 - Lyndon B. Johnson drinks some really bad coffee, tells his wife.
- 1977 - Eric Clapton orders a tuna sandwich from the deli but is given egg salad instead, doesn't notice until he gets home.
- 1989 - Gerard Strassner, of Utica, New York, finally starts listening to R.E.M.
- 2004 - Mark Zuckerberg invents the Facebook status, making Nobody Does Anything Interesting Day an everyday holiday.
- 2014 - Space aliens land throughout North America and take control. As this happens at 5 AM, Americans just roll over and go back to sleep, thinking to take care of it later in the day after having their morning coffee.
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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