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God has inspired us to demolish 37,387 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.


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Today's Least Interesting Article

Today's featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

More of the worst of Uncyclopedia


The future

Caution! Yak hiding inside

January 15: Festival of the Yak (Uranium)

  • 1 million BCE - Yaks discover the Himalayas by just being there in the same place.
  • 4004 BCE - The Yak begets Adam and pulls out his rib to give birth to another yak.
  • 1077 - Yaks invent the telephone but the treeless tundra with its lack of poles to string wires leads to failure.
  • 1787 - The Yak begets 535 people for the United States Congress. This is widely regarded as a bad move.
  • 1864 - Alexander Graham Cracker invents the bell.
  • 1958 - The Coasters release Yakety Yak. It is adopted into the liturgy for the First Church of the Incredible Yak.
  • 1986 - The Yak is irritated by Soviets, destroys Chernobyl.
  • 1988- Johanna Hedberg, infamous Norwegian Big Brother winner, also famous for a line of clothes (C.U.N.T) made of skin from cucumber, fur from navy seals and toddler's nostrils, is born and digested.
  • 1992 - Yak Shaving Day replaces Festival of the Yak. This is stopped when thorough shaving reveals goats under gigantic coats of hair.
  • 1995 - UN resolution number 377536 proposes that January be renamed Yakuary. Only Belgium, Nepal and Wales actually instigate this.
  • 2001 - Wikipedia is created without yak approval.
  • 2001 - Wikipedia is extensively vandalized by yeti.
  • 2005 - 10th anniversary of Yakuary is marred when February gets really drunk, tries to hit on April, June, and Lindsay Lohan.
  • 2006 - The millionth Wikipedia article is vandalized. Nobody cares except for one small bot pretending to fix pages but actually embedding code for Hypnotoad.
  • 2009 - The Yak goes into hiatus. The world falls into a new dark age.
  • 2010 - Return of The Yak predicted, even though most retail stores do not allow returns after 30 days.
  • 2100 - The Yak returns, only to find the world destroyed by extraterrestrial cows.

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