From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Alternate Universe)
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Goodbye from Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that nobody can edit. God has inspired us to demolish 37,253 articles in anticipation of the imminent apocalypse.
Please take care not to read the Expert's Guide or browse the Small Five.
Today's Least Interesting Article
Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)
Previously featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)
More of the worst of Uncyclopedia
The future
June 27: International Day of Rest From International Holidays (USA, res.) (pictured)
- 153 CE - Shuffle walking hits the mainstream. Shoe makers rejoice.
- 476 - Odoacer sacks Rome in response to not being invited to the Senate's toga party.
- 1431 - Joan of Arc is invited to a non-holiday barbecue with tragic results.
- 1617 - The Hapsburg Dynasty is created after the 1st Dynasty Warriors set in feudal Austria. Later games in the series will include Dynasty Warriors Feudal South Africa and DW VII Feudal Libya. Fans express an interest in having a DW set in feudal Japan).
- 1780 - The world's nations agree to stop fighting for a single day. Upon realizing that would make this day a holiday for their soldiers, they continue their unbroken string of bloodshed after 11 AM.
- 1905 - While shooting a film on location aboard a battleship, director Sergei Eisenstein calls for the 50th take on a scene and sailors riot. This of course would later be released as the movie Under Siege starring Steven Seagal.
- 1976 - The Farrah flip falls out of style in most Middle Eastern countries, except strangely in Oman.
- 1980 - Freddie Mercury finally gets to ride his bicycle.
- 1992 - Fedor Emelianenko defeats terrorism at a twenty minute decision in PRIDE.
- 2004 - Krispy Kreme invents the first glazed atom bomb, but fat hungry people lick all the glaze off.
- 2021 - All attempts to logically explain how computers really work fail, and numerous experts agree that technology is simply magic.
More predictions
|
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,253 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:
For completely unrelated IRC chat, you may try killing yourself.
Under attack by the Unfair Use Clause, and a squad of magical girls.
Main Page
|
