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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 26: Wear Pants On Your Head Day
- 1907 - Vauxhall Bridge is opened in Beijing. Commuters on the A202 complain about the roundabout trip in strongly worded letters to the Times.
- 1958 - Yamahachi 'Iron Shavings' Tsuharo is born in Cape Town, South Africa.
- 1963 - Unicorns wearing pants on their heads as a disguise are discovered in Portugal, coincidentally by people wearing pants on their heads.
- 1963 - Unicorns become extinct in Portugal.
- 1973 - Let's Not Celebrate This Day Festival is celebrated for the first and last time.
- 1979 - The Afro haircut becomes compulsory in the 48 contiguous states. Alaska follows suit in 1983.
- 1980 - Spain declares war on Pope Eggs Benedict IV for previous remarks.
- 1981 - Boy George is proclaimed Queen of England. Prince Philip is so devastated he fails to make a smartass remark.
- 1982 - Boy George is deposed in a violent uprising of bagpipe makers.
- 1985 - Peter Pan spins in his grave as Michael Jackson's Neverland is built.
- 1999 - The Y2K Bug dies squashed under a rock.
- 2002 - Mars Odyssey spacecraft finds signs of rocks on the planet Mars.
- 2003 - The first Masked Avenger is found drunk lying in a puddle with dead hooker in lap. Lawsuits ensue and first official 'Sue a Super' day commences.
- 2004 - The Vienna Boys Choir release a choral version of Whip It ! that ranks #22 on Billboard magazine.
- 2011 - Somebody uses the word 'bacon' in a sentence.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| LandoftheJews.png - 5 total votes ( 5 / 0 )
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Land of the Jews, based on promo poster for George A. Romero's film Land of the Dead.
Image credit: RabbiTechno
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
