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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
- ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
- ... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
- ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
- ... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
- ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
- ... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 15: Julius Caesar's Birthday, Ironic Birthday Day (Italy)
- 35,000 BC - An unknown Homo sapiens pens Diary of a Caveman, a revealing look into caveman culture, fashion, and etiquette.
- 52 BCE - Julius Caesar invites Gaulish leaders Vercingetorix and Asterix to his birthday party. It proves to be only a ruse to take them hostage and an excuse not to have to put out any cake or prizes.
- 44 BCE - On his way to the theater, Julius Caesar is surprised with a birthday cake. In the rush to cut the cake, Caesar is accidentally stabbed 57 times. His dying words, 'Et tu, Brute?,' tell his friend Brutus that he can have 2 slices.
- 1895 - Oscar Wilde is convicted of gross indecency and sentenced to two years hard labor. He beats charges of assault and battery using rapier wit but then is charged with carrying a concealed weapon.
- 1952 - John Cage composes 4'33" and becomes widely known as 'that douche who didn't play any music'.
- 1967 - The first computer game is introduced, when Grandmaster Lt. Chekov loses a game of chess to a large supercomputer.
- 1981 - Altered Images release their song Happy Birthday providing a modern alternative to Happy Birthday to You and causing the death of thousands allergic to twee pop sung in a squeaky voice.
- 2000 - The first Y2K doomsayers quietly come out of their caves and begin attempting to live normal lives; most fail and are ridiculed.
- 2008 - Iggy Pop finally gets around to buying a shirt and promptly loses it.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| Lance brick.jpg - 24 total votes ( 28 / 4 )
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When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.
Image credit: Sunsneezer
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
