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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters?
- ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters?
- ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters?
- ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 8: Be Suspicious of Your Friends and Co-Workers (They're Trying to Kill You) Day
- 1210 - Rain is discovered by Vatican scientists.
- 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
- 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee beard.
- 1798 - North Dakota moves to its present location from beside the River Thames.
- 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union. Nissan decides it will build its plant there after all.
- 1900 - Hitler's moustache is born.
- 1901 - The Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress of Canada, Grand Sheila of Australia, Most Merciful Pasha of Yorkshire, is expelled from her mother's uterus into the world.
- 1949 - 35 years after starting it, George Orwell finally completes his futuristic novel Nineteen Fourty-Four.
- 1963 - Doctor What changes his name to Doctor Who.
- 1969 - Bill Clinton fails to inhale.
- 1979 - Mel Gibson speaks in enhanced Aussie accent after discovering he was born in Peekskill, New York.
- 1983 - The United States Government collapses then reforms in a period of twelve hours. No one notices because a cute kitten is born on TV.
- 2011 - You read this. You wished you had not bothered. You take a sip of tea and note a slightly odd taste. Distracted, you reread this line, except now it is dated 2011.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| Tide Pods Candy.JPG - 6 total votes ( 6 / 0 )
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Image credit: Insert image credits here
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
