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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... rattlesnakes no longer rattle a warning before striking but send a potential threat a tweet and attack when the threat is checking their phone?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... rattlesnakes no longer rattle a warning before striking but send a potential threat a tweet and attack when the threat is checking their phone?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... rattlesnakes no longer rattle a warning before striking but send a potential threat a tweet and attack when the threat is checking their phone?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... rattlesnakes no longer rattle a warning before striking but send a potential threat a tweet and attack when the threat is checking their phone?
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In the news
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On this day...
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February 23: Day of teh Internets
- 1954 - The Terminator, coming from the future, is destroyed by swamp gas over Tennessee, and its remains land in the Gore family yard. Inspired by this, Al Gore invents the Internet.
- 1966 - First pr0n photo is uploaded to the internet. Back then it is called porn so no one could find it using the only available search engine, the public library.
- 1994 - China connects to the Internet.
- 1994 - Taiwan is disconnected from the Internet.
- 1995 - Spam is created by Satan.
- 1996 - AOL is created by Satan after he needs to dispose of billions of CD-ROMs.
- 1997 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 1999 - Counter-Strike is created, thus marking the beginning of 1337speak and therefore the end of the world. In celebration, AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2004 - Maozilla storms Tokyonet, toppling many servers except for AOL's, so AOL raises its rates to its 70 remaining dial-up customers.
- 2008 - Many people start using 'cool' up-to-date social media websites, such as MySpace, Stumbleupon and Bebo.
- 2010 - Al Gore baleets teh last comment. The internet dies and goes to hell.
- 2011 - George Bush gets tired of constant criticism and blows a wiener.
- 2020 - Wiener, Neustadt still hasn't recovered from the blast.
- 2029 - Skynet sends the Terminator back in time to prevent Al Gore from creating the Internet.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| 28gayslater.png - 9 total votes ( 9 / 0 )
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28 Gays Later is a post-apocalyptic horror/shocker film released in 2008. It has become a cult film in the city of San Francisco, as much of its imagery and drama hit home with many fans describing it as the most hoboerotic experience since Top Gun. The film's sequel, 28 Twinks Later, proved to be a box office disappointment.
Image credit: Sonje
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
