From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
|
Did you know...
|
| *... That over 100 Martians have been run over by the rover Curiosity?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
June 6: Cat Polishing Day
- 6666 BCE - Happy Birthday, Satan!
- 6665 BCE - Happy Birthday, Santa!
- 6 CE - Computer geeks begin to worry about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the end times and the birth of Anti-Jesus.
- 1670 - The fourth dimension is discovered in Detroit.
- 1671 - The scientist who discovered the fourth dimension dies inside it.
- 1689 - The Bastille is stormed but the mob are told they're 100 years and a month too early.
- 1690 - The person who wrote the above entry rebuilds it.
- 1900 - Centennial celebration of dinner time.
- 1946 - George W. Bush hits the US (with a big fucking stick).
- 1966 - Overpolishing of cats results in the creation of the Sphynx breed.
- 1987 - The physical embodiment of the god of whores is born in a small general hospital in London to a family with too many cats.
- 1998 - Satan builds the Flux capacitor, but nobody seems to care.
- 1999 - The Millennium Dome sneaks off to the Bell and Dragon in Bath for a pint.
- 2001 - John The Baptist meets Jesus in the local Blue Peter Bring & Buy sale. He opts to buy the cross Jesus is carrying, but turns it down in favour of a My Little Pony annual.
- 2006 - The day of Satan, and my ex-wife's birthday! Coincidence?
- 2008 - Satan decides to put off Armageddon to celebrate his birthday with his cats.
|
|
Featured picture
|
[vote]
| Trojan horse.png - 20 Happy Humpin' Horses ( 20 / 0 )
|
|
Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!".
Image credit: sannse
|
|
|
|
|
Writer and Noob of the Month
|
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
37,404 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages:
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
Main Page
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
