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Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png
Somebody touch me.

Today's featured article – Mike Pence

Mike Pence waving.jpg

Michael Richard "Mike" Pence (born June 7, 1959) was the 48th Vice President of the United States from 2017 to 2021, under Donald Trump's administration. At a young age in Indiana, he was known as a hero for killing Bigfoot and burning the corpse despite several tough air-pollution laws. It was through this feat and holding multiple political offices that Pence earned a reputation as thoroughly Godly — and thoroughly boring. The former means it would be awesome if he were elected President. The latter guarantees he never will be.

Pence was born in Christopher Columbus, Indiana. It was when he turned 7 that he wrestled Bigfoot and won, an achievement that would be praised by his family and hometown for years to come. He graduated from Indiana University with a degree in Electroshock Therapy.

Pence started off as a Democrat who voted for Jimmy Carter in the 1980 election, but later found religion and became a born-again Christian. He eventually screwed enough people over to not only serve in the U.S. Congress from 2001 through 2013, but to be occasionally mentioned as a candidate for President. (more...)

Previously featured article – Ahsoka (TV series)


Star Wars: Ahsoka, or just Ahsoka, while also referred to as Star Wars Rebels Season 5, is an American limited-series written, directed, produced and created by Dave Filoni. It is set within the Star Wars franchise, acting as the second spin-off from 2019's The Mandalorian, with the first being 2021's The Book of Boba Fett. It also serves as a continuation of the animated shows Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels, while also being a prequel to the other animated show Star Wars Resistance (which nobody watched, anyway). The thing that these five shows, six if you include Ahsoka, have in common is that Dave Filoni was behind all of them — in more ways than one. (more...)

Did you know...

*... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?
  • ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
  • ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?
  • ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
  • ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?
  • ... that in the dark, all cats are in the dark, too?
  • ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?

In the news

On this day...

"No, seriously. Who is he?"

December 7: Official Who the Hell Is Spartacus Day

  • Little did they know that I'm Spartacus.
  • No, I'm Spartacus!
  • I'm Spartacus!
  • No, I am!
  • Hence the search...
  • 72 BCE - People stop naming their children Spartacus as they don't want them hanging around the sides of roads.
  • 878 - The magnifying glass is perfected. Thousands of ants would die before anything really useful would be done with it.
  • 1209 - The Albigensian Crusade begins as Pope Innocent III tries to find both Spartacus and some ready cash and property.
  • 1500 - The search for Spartacus continues. Columbus is imprisoned for failing to find him.
  • 1936 - Buddy Holly is born in Texas; this is also known as "The Day That Will Live in Infancy".
  • 1982 - Mr T (not pictured) claims in his autobiography Pity the Fool that he was Spartacus. Historians refute this claim.
  • 1987 - "Where's Wally?" (in North America, "Where's Waldo?") turns out to be a thinly disguised attempt to find Spartacus. Carmen Sandiego comes under suspicion as well.
  • 1995 - The band Sparklehorse is founded by the long-lost descendant of Spartacus.
  • 2005 - Uncyclopedia becomes littered with Spartacus jokes written by Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris.
  • 2017 - US President Donald Trump imprisons all Jews in order to make them reveal the location of Spartacus, with predictable results as he never watched the movie.

Featured picture



Jeanpool1.png - 19 pools of jeans. Geddit? ( 19 / 0 )

Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86.

Image credit: RadicalX

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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