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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did you know...
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 9: Moose Conservation Day (North America), Scientific Blunders Awareness Day
- 36 CE - Jesus Christ saves a moose who becomes an apostle to spread the Word in the Americas. It only manages to get tangled up in clotheslines and trip over lawn furniture.
- 1491 – A cave painting is discovered which would later be the inspiration for the movie Opiate of the Molasses.
- 1567 – Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. Doctors are amazed at how it stayed so clean while she gave birth to it.
- 1920 – The first solar-powered air balloon is launched at night.
- 1926 – The first refrigerator is invented. It is originally marketed for killing people slowly and coldly.
- 1940 – The team of scientists at Los Alamos begin work on the Manhattan Project. They construct the world's first nuclear weapons after the US government's promise to only use them for peaceful nuclear bombings.
- 1954 - This marks exactly 100 years to the day that Charles Darwin finished penning the The Origin of Species rough draft. The lapse of 100 years' time is called into question due to missing transitional forms.
- 1969 – Sex is created. However, scientists do not think it will be a big hit.
- 1988 – The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians are baffled.
- 1993 – The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court.
- 2003 – Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches its record-breaking 500th lawsuit.
- 2009 – George Lucas changes history to make it look like a moose got a shot in first. Fans of Greedo are outraged.
- 2016 – Star Wars fans are unable to lynch George Lucas at San Diego Comic-Con as he keeps all his profits from the sale of the franchise in gold coins duct-taped to his body and is far too heavy to lift.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
