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Somebody touch me.

Today's featured article – Equestria Girls

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My Little Pony: Equestria Girls is a Canadian-American animated film produced by Hasbro Studios. The film premiered in the U.S. and Canada in 2013 across limited screens — limited primarily by the absence of patrons in front of them.

The film is based on My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, but re-casts the characters as schoolgirls rather than ponies. The film's plot imagines that Twilight Sparkle is a prom queen whose crown has been stolen by a bitter Sunset Shimmer. The producers believed that morphing lovable ponies into backbiting, treacherous teenage girls would overwhelm their subsequent morphing into a new line of play toys that everyone would be expected to buy.

Hasbro has multiple sequels on the drawing board, in which the ponies become effeminate high-school football players and the nerds who bully them, then supermarket cashiers with a venal shift manager who insists that they count out the customer's change.

"Princess" Twilight Sparkle and her Ponyville friends arrive at the Crystal Empire for a ton of palace intrigue. Twilight still struggles with the fear that she is not fit to rule, a fear oddly shared by everyone else. That night, Sunset Shimmer appears through a magic mirror and steals Twilight's crown. The good news is that Sunset falls back into the mirror. The bad news is that the crown does too. Celestia says the mirror leads to a different world, where children play with movie-themed toys more than once. She insists that Twilight enter this world to retrieve her crown before the portal closes again for thirty moons, and travel alone, and leave her pocketbook "for safe keeping." Twilight, like most members of Royalty, is a complete dupe and does everything her courtiers tell her to. Her dragon assistant Spike anxiously jumps in afterward. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Whey

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Whey, also called milk serum, is what you get when you take milk and drain off all the milk. It is a by-product of agribusiness and has several lucrative uses. Sweet whey is a by-product of making cheddar or Swiss cheese. Removing by-products is one reason Swiss cheese is full of holes. Whereas, sour whey comes from making cottage cheese and yogurt, neither of which have holes to begin with. (more...)

Did you know...

*... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
  • ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?

In the news

On this day...

Behold his Divine Noodliness!

September 26: Happy Pastafarian New Year!

  • 13,775,000,001 BCE - The Flying Spaghetti Monster creates the Universe, then quickly retreats back into his dishy domain until the time is right.
  • c.28 million BCE - The Sith break from the Pastafarian Church over the correct use of forks and electricity during meals.
  • 75 BC - Julius Caesar finally catches up with the prophet Mosey along the shores of the Mediterranean and crucifies him, along with his closest friends; they then dismantle his ship, the Lasagne, and sell it for scrap, ushering in the start of the Pastafarian calendar.
  • 1403 - Alfredo de Spag-Hetti, a merchant from Parma, begins his attempt of translating copies of the sacred texts of Pastafarianism, first given to him by an Arab trader.
  • 1708 - Blackbeard is finally killed by the South Carolina militia. He ascends to Heaven on a pirate ship made of bowtie pasta.
  • 1796 - Robert Burns convenes his first (and only) Burns supper; he dies in the middle of it and is devoured as part of the pasta course.
  • 1837 - Humpty Dumpty converts to Pastafarianism, is tossed off a wall for it.
  • 1922 - The Flying Spaghetti Monster curses President Warren G. Harding for being so corrupt; he falls ill and dies over the next year.
  • 1930 - Wall Street crashes due to pasta stocks going through the roof.
  • 1957 - British television viewers are informed of the dire plight of the Swiss spaghetti crop on the BBC's Panorama.
  • 1971 - Flying Spaghetti Monster moves into the Vatican; the rivers run red with pasta sauce.
  • 2005 - Bobby Henderson announces his rediscovery of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on this day.

Featured picture


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Aoushot1.jpg - 22 total votes ( 30 / 8 )
Aoushot1.jpg

A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket.

Image credit: Hindleyite

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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