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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
- ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top?
- ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years?
- ... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
- ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top?
- ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years?
- ... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
- ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top?
- ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years?
- ... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 1: International Steroids Appreciation Day
- 72 BCE – Moses takes steroids; parts the Red Sea.
- 1869 – Thomas Edison receives a patent for his electric voting machine and makes millions selling the machines to Florida Republicans.
- 1960 – New Zealand's first official television broadcast commences at 7:30 PM from Auckland. Ratings are low due to Kiwis not understanding how pictures and sounds can come from a box.
- 1964 – Barry Bonds is born.
- 1988 - Steve Urkel becomes the third president of Zimbabwe only to be overthrown by every person in Africa.
- 1989 - With the fall of the Berlin Wall the people of Germany rejoice only to later be killed by the future president of the United States Arnold Presidentator, when he begins filming his final film, Plan 9 from Mr. President.
- 1992 - This marks the start of the "Nukes Means Goals" campaign, when the Southport FC manager stores nuclear weapons in his team's changing room and threatens to detonate them if they lose.
- 1992 – Bud Selig brand steroids hit the shelves.
- 1998 – Chuck Norris announces to press: "I never took steroids"
- 1999 – Steroids announces to press: "I took Chuck Norris."
- 2010 – One out of every three baseball players is suspected of abusing steroids. The other two-thirds claim to use steroids responsibly.
- 2012 - Cyclist Lance Armstrong freely admits to using steroids, EPO and gratuitous Wheaties consumption, proving that steroids affect the brain.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 )
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
