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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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| *... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
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In the news
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On this day...
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 [Insert double entendre here] February 1: International [Insert Holiday Here] Day, Old Meme Flogging Day
- 24398 BCE - First fat kid falls down the first flight of stairs.</nowiki>
- 13455 BCE - Mammoth shaming works all too well, driving them to extinction. Nice going.
- c.2000 BCE - Moses brings the Ten Commandments to his people, but forgets to go back for the tablet that contains Rule 34.
- [Insert a year from 0-43 AD here] - [Insert overdone Jesus joke here]
- [Insert 1337 here] - [Insert tired, pointless noob joke here]
- [Insert date that doesn't follow the given order at all] - [Insert sexual innuendo with [insert name here] and [insert name here] along with an event that defies logic]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event that takes place in Paris here] - [Insert sentence containing 'Rioting' here]
- 1989 - Cats conspire to take over the internet but are foiled by humanity's deep love of Pr0n.
- 1991 - Richard Simmons overdoes exercise and is mistaken for what would later be known as Slenderman.
- 2006 - James Blunt admits he was fed helium as a child and recommends it to the youth of today
- 20X6 - Correct me if I'm wrong but are you asking me for a challenge?!?!
- [Insert 2101 AD here] - [Insert tired, pointless All Your Base reference here]
- <nowiki>[Insert (absurdly large number times two absurdly large numbers) AD here] - [Insert worn out and over used joke about a clone of your mother and me here].
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 )
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
