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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... showings of the movie Frozen 2 will require moviegoers to sit in a tub of liquid nitrogen for maximum effect?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... showings of the movie Frozen 2 will require moviegoers to sit in a tub of liquid nitrogen for maximum effect?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... showings of the movie Frozen 2 will require moviegoers to sit in a tub of liquid nitrogen for maximum effect?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
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In the news
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On this day...
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February 25: 1337 d4y (133714)
- 1337 - 1337 15 c0mm0n.
- 1337 - Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are born. The world almost explodes. They say they'd kill me if this is put under 1337.
- 1338 - 1337 mysteriously falls out of usage. Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are put into cryogenic freeze until the 20th century.
- 1966 - Palestinians informed that they are not the Chosen People. Jews celebrate, only to be told that they, also, are not the Chosen People.
- 1980 - Al Gore creates the year 1980. Tipper Gore introduces teh 4nt1-1337 language.
- 1985 - Bill Gates invents Glass and pwns everyone on his computer.
- 1997 - Space is invented. Finally.
- 2005 - Man finds God then loses him again.
- 2011 - A trouser snake named Sherlock beats IBM super computer Watson in a game of Clue.
- 2012 - George W. Bush replaces Tony Blair as Middle East peace envoy. Sauron is said to be looking forward to talks.
- 2026 - WTFWJDFAKBZOMGLM AOROTFLOLZOMGBBQHAXNOOB13 37KAMSABP11!!111 !!1!1(WHAT THE F **K WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR ZOH MY GOD LAUGHING MY A SS OFF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUG HING OUT LOUD ZOH MY GOD BA RBECUE HACKS NOOB LEET KOOL-AID MAN SAUSAGE AN D BACON POUTINE11!!111!!1!1) – n00b
- 3137 - 173471041nrnn 1337 4494nrm 4dy.
- 7331 - 5dr4wkc4b 51 7331.
- π - F**k it, no one can read it anyway.
- ... - AFK day.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
