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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,322 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article Today's featured article – Norse Korea Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. Norse Korea's military strategies are inspired by the wisdom of the All-Father himself, who apparently advised, "Why invade your neighbors when you can just hold a never-ending parade and fire missiles that look like they were designed by Loki for his next prank?" The country’s nuclear tests resemble the ravings of a berserker, though one wonders if they might actually be Odin's attempt at a mid-life crisis — "Look, I can totally outshine Ragnarok, guys." (more...) Recently featured: Mark Levin Bunsen burner Woolly mammoth Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Mark Levin Mark Reed Levin (born September 21, 1957) is an American talk radio personality, host of The Mark Levin Show as well as a television show on Fox News. He has also written seven books. He specializes in current events, constitutional analysis authentic enough to make Wikipedia call it "incendiary," and his signature civil response to participants, including to adversaries he often invites to phone the show. And if you have a problem with that, buster, you can get the hell out of my article, you big dummy. (more...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? March 30: National Cleavage Day (UK) 1599 - Elizabeth I of England establishes 'The Itty Bitty Titty Committee'. 1910 - Broadcaster Terry Wogan is born under a credenza and is raised in seclusion by Hypnotoad. 1996 - The KGB begins recruiting fat chicks with thongs as secret agents. 1939 - Hitler announces a glorious 1000 year Reich free of saggy tits . 1954 - The first Subway sandwich shop in Canada opens in Atlanta. 1968 - She wore an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini. 1977 - Harry Potter discovers the Swedish mammoth tit ('Potterus gigantatittium). 1981 - The animated rock video Heavy Metal is released. Holy shit! 1990 - Canadian Uncyclopedian gets to second base; parents proud. 1996 - Fox News opens its comment line but finds its core audience is unable to dial phones or remember strings of numbers. 2003 - Pamela Anderson is the grand marshal in the Macy's National Cleavage Day Parade. 2007 - Vention, The National Kiwanis Convention for the New England District, meets. Nine months later, every teenage girl in the New England district is still hung-over and going into labor. 2008 - Chavette Katie Price reveals her supervillain identity Jordan, who then proceeds to inflate her breasts to engulf London, killing over 25,000. 2045 - Feminists attempt to outlaw the production of low-cut shirts. They are then all killed by the mob of women running across town to buy the last few v-neck shirts made. The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia (pictured) Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... killer bees only became murderously aggressive after being subjected to a barrage of yo mama jokes by a researcher in Brazil? Read on
edit Recent witticisms Woof (pictured) | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers
This Month's Wit GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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