Babel:OW
|
Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,325 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
|
Oscar's Chosen ArticleToday's featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope
Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. So let's fill you in with a bit of background. First you will have to be a Catholic and male. We know this may be an impediment to many of you but the church is very broad these days. The Popehood is open to all, but you do need to wear pants and not be a gossip. There is now a minimum and maximum age to become pope. You also need to be a cardinal to be a papal candidate, though that rule came in about 1,000 years ago. Since you can only become a cardinal once you reach your 35th birthday, that is now the minimum age to become pope. The maximum age for a pope is 80, a rule brought in only in the 1960s. (more...) Recently featured:
Previously featured article – Norse Korea
Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. (more...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day
|
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
| ||
Recent witticisms Woof (pictured) | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten
Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers | |||
This Month's Wit Seriously, we love you.  Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many  HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
| |||
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
UnNews The news source on crack |
|
Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia |
|
Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid |
|
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper |
|
Games Another way to waste time |
|
HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything |
|
UnBooks Content-free books |
|
Unquotable Useless misquotes galore |
|
Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it |
|
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry |
|
UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues |
|
UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too |
|
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice |
|
UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck |
|
UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock! |
|
UnCommons Broken media repository |
Uncyclopedia languages
 |
Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194 |
Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644 |
アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675 |
Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266 |
Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849 |
 |
 |
Désencyclopédie Français France 10073 |
Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708 |
偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652 |
Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14 |
Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002 |
 |
| Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered. | ||||||
- International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
- Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
- UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
- Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
- Donate to Japan. Seriously.
- Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
- Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people
For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.
Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.