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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,292 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

wilde.jpg

Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Today's featured article – Bunsen burner

Bunsen flamethrower.png

A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs.

According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...)

Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth

Woolly mammoth.jpg

The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...)

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

"Do I know you?"

December 22: Female Awareness Day

  • 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
  • 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice.
  • 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin.
  • 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
  • 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
  • 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again.
  • 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator.
  • 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
  • 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years.
  • 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear.
  • 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded.
  • 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock.
  • 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
  • 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
  • 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.



Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?


Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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