Babel:OW
|
Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,403 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
|
Oscar's Chosen ArticleToday's featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count." Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...) Recently featured:
Previously featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day, National Table Tennis Day (Singapore)
|
The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
| ||
Recent witticisms Arthur Currie | Full house (pictured) | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax
Recently published | Requested | Lacking | The brevity of wit | Lost scribblings | Consult your peers | |||
This Month's Wit Seriously, we love you.  Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many  HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
| |||
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
UnNews The news source on crack |
|
Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia |
|
Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid |
|
UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper |
|
Games Another way to waste time |
|
HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything |
|
UnBooks Content-free books |
|
Unquotable Useless misquotes galore |
|
Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it |
|
UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry |
|
UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues |
|
UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too |
|
Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice |
|
UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck |
|
UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock! |
|
UnCommons Broken media repository |
Uncyclopedia languages
 |
Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194 |
Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644 |
アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675 |
Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266 |
Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849 |
 |
 |
Désencyclopédie Français France 10073 |
Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708 |
偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652 |
Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14 |
Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002 |
 |
| Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered. | ||||||
- International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
- Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
- UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
- Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
- Donate to Japan. Seriously.
- Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
- Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people
For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.
Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.