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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 37,352 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Minotaur The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. The monster's given name was Asterix, suggested by some visiting Celts from Gaul. The beast is typically described in painting and sculpture as having a human body and a bull's head. Some writers have described him the other way around. Considering the combinations possible, it is a wonder that the Minotaur didn't end up as an amalgamation of two different butts. Experts in Greek mythology suspect that if the Minotaur were born female, then the Borden's company would have adopted its mascot and symbol much, much earlier. The storyline would also then have been much different. Historians agree that the tale would have ended up as some sort of lesbian fanfic, which is within the canon of the soap opera that is Greek mythology. (more...) Recently featured: The Witcher Chess pieces John Mahama Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – The Witcher The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries September 11: International Worst Inventions Ever Day 13,800,000,000 BCE Universe invented. Previous universe wiped out due to Large Hadron Collider collision. 3000 BCE - Egyptians invent papyrus. Moments later, the paper cut is invented. Still some moments later, some pretty expressive swear words are invented. 33 CE - Judas invents the noose while just hanging around. 100 CE - Romans invent the wedgie to torment Christians. 911 - Nostradamus, having predicted 9/11, invents the telephone number 911. 1753 - An Oxford University student invents the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. 1883 - The Worst Invention of the Year is a tossup between Islamic Fundamentalism (Middle East) and Christian Fundamentalism (United States). 1934 - Aviation pioneer Igor Sikorsky invents the helicopter ejection seat. 1939 - Inspired by an awful experience at summer camp, Hitler invents his own franchise of camps. 1945 - Morning After Pill not yet invented; George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush invent George W. 1961 - Hair scientists invent the mullet (pictured). The nesting bird population increases dramatically. 1968 - The internet is developed, sporting six-pack abs and huge rockets and not an ounce of fat. However, 30 years later... 1972 - Construction of the Trans-Amazonian Highway is completed. Lesbian Amazonians are slightly miffed. 1981 - Road rage is invented when the Trans-Amazonian Highway is extended through your cubicle. 2001 - An aircraft magnet is accidently turned on in the Pentagon. 2001 - Osama Bin Laden invents the world's first airplane/building hybrid 2001 - American Airlines mysteriously loses 2 planes. 2002 - Emo movement is saddened but remains vaguely hopeful when it is invented. 2002 - The White House invents WMD. 2006 - An antigovernment father spends the day without turning on TV or radio, insisting that he doesn't want to hear about what happened five years ago, but in truth, hasn't paid the electricity bill. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints (pictured) Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that I am a schizophrenic? ... and so am I? ... me too? ... shut up, Frank, you're not even supposed to be here today. Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles? Read More
edit Recent articles Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies (pictured) | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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