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Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Minotaur

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The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

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Selected anniversaries

Remember kids: Ignorance is fun!

October 29: National Ignorance Awareness Day, International Rescue Day (Thunderbirds Are Go!)

  • 922 - Peasants throughout Europe suddenly realize they are quite ignorant. Then, as one, they return to working in the fields, figuring they are too stupid to do anything else.
  • 1576 - Rolf Harris invents the wobble board and didgeridoo. He is able to play both at the same time while groping girls.
  • 1675 - Leibniz makes the first use of the long s, ∫, for integral. 315 years later I have to take calculus. Thanks, man. Thanks a fucking lot.
  • 1782 - God gets up, has a slice of toast, then decides it's all too much bother and goes to bed again for 500 years.
  • 1895 - International Rescue is established, with 2 horses, a penny-farthing bike, a rowboat and a good shovel.
  • 1929 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or Black Tuesday, beginning the Great Depression. I think that was like, when, everyone got really unhappy for a long time.
  • 1955 - Mother Brown gets me Dog And Bone.
  • 1966 - For meritorious service, the Thunderbirds are knighted by the Queen. During the ceremony, she accidentally cuts their strings with her sword, causing embarrassment for all.
  • 1969 - The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. It is used to send porn.
  • 1972 - President Richard Nixon declares that he is addicted to the word "declares".
  • 1985 - Howard the Duck, dude. Howard the Duck.
  • 1990 - Rolf Harris horrifies an audience in Melbourne with filthy basslines on his didgeridoo in an attempt to attract underage girls, while wearing only his CBE medal.
  • 1998 - Space shuttle Discovery blasts off with 77-year-old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space. He bores astronauts by telling them about how in his day, they didn't have astronaut ice cream, and that there were no zero-G toilets, they just had to hold it in the entire mission.
  • 2002 - Ozone is linked to Al-Qaida, President Bush vows to increase carbon dioxide outputs as USA leads the way in the War on Terra.
  • 2009 - Pam Anderson's breasts become self aware.

Archived Anniversaries

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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month

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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


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If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


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