Babel:Spb

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Today's featured article Today's featured article – John Mahama John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency. Mahama was the candidate of the National Democratic Congress (NDC). His rise to office sets a variety of records: First President to be younger than the nation, first to be President in non-consecutive terms, and first to excel in hitting empty beer cans with stones from twenty paces (7 m). He has been an MP, pan-African MP, Deputy Minister, Minister, Vice President, and President, a feat known in Ghanaian political circles as "Bingo!" Mahama started his first term upon the death of his predecessor, John Atta Mills, on 24 July 2012. The so-called Atta-boy gave a stirring speech to accept his new responsibilities. He stated, "This is the saddest day in our nation's history. Tears have engulfed our nation. (more...) Recently featured: HowTo:Become a Pope Norse Korea Mark Levin Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries May 11: Printer Calibration Jubilee (Cupertino, California) 85879 BCE - Yo momma became the first human to be fully evolved, or intelligently designed (whichever you prefer). 479 BCE - Recto-Lube: The Brand You Love is founded in ancient Greece. 1865 - Abraham Lincoln's corpse starts to stink really badly. 1956 - Gold Coast, a country in Africa, decides that they are Ghana, and become independent. 1983 - Scientists announce vaccine to protect against Pac-Man Fever. 1988 - In the dark, all cats are gray. Or you need a new printer cartridge. 1991 - AOL launches its internets service, charging US$1 per week. Take up is slow, as the majority ofmankind had already guessed they are a hideous fraud. 1995 - The death of a generation. Countless people die. 1996 - Fox News goes on the air. Its first broadcast is a big production number of the Communist anthem The Internationale as they show how close the democrats are to the socialist party. 2000 - Al Gore loses Survivor after the Supreme Court intervenes. 2002 - Al Gore invents Internet. 2008 - James Madison eats George Bush for breakfast, then promptly uses his spidey powers to escape. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day reaver Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos (pictured) DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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