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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 37,404 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel) In the beginning - God creates Mojo from leftover positrons and dark matter. A long time ago - God creates Funk, and he sees that it is gooo-ooood. 2000 BCE - Moses opens the first Piggly Wiggly supermarket with the goal of "bringin' chitterlings to all my peeps!" 402 BCE - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage. 14 BCE - Leeroy Jenkins declares, "At least I still have chicken." 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia. 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain. 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what is billed as the Spat in the Flat. 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades. 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi. 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world is postponed once again due to rain. 1980 - Towels are rediscovered just as hyenas take over the French government. 1982 - Pac Man Fever kills 20 million Americans in just a few weeks. 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potato from the top spot for a few weeks. 2002 - Mutant Goombie children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials are blamed. 2003 - In the first smart move made ever by a government, governments everywhere are officially disbanded. 2007 - Jerry Springer is attacked by trailer park midgets. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day armor Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?! Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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