Babel:Spb

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 37,292 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Bunsen burner A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs. According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...) Recently featured: Woolly mammoth Kalamazoo Kalamazoo, Michigan Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries December 21: Personal Hygiene Day 678 BCE - Sodomy discovered in Greece. 677 BCE - Death penalty instituted in Greece. 477 BCE - Stinky Greek hobo Socrates roams the streets of fudge-packing Athens, claiming he knows nothing. As a result, the goofy Greeks regard him as the greatest sage that ever lived. 322 BCE - Megalomaniac Alexander the Great outs himself. In a letter to Aristotle, he confesses that the smell of male toil "turns him on". 1500 - The Middle Ages officially end; Europeans can finally start taking care of their personal hygiene little by little. 1939 - Hitler invades France. After realizing he would never make them wash he turned toward Russia. 1967 - The interrobang is discovered. The horrible revelation drives its discoverer instantly insane. 1979 - Star Wars Episode XXXIV: The Rising of Darth Leia is released. George Lucas blames dirty, smelly theaters for the low turnout. 1982 - Sudan wins "Least Hygienic Country In The World Competition" for the first time. The African country has held the title ever since. 1984 - The first horseman of the apocalypse descends to herald the coming tribulations, but no one notices apart from Noel Fielding, a homeless alcoholic from Brighton, England. 2004 - Barry Scott surpasses Batman as the Queen of Clean with Clitoris Bang. 2005 - The Bermuda Triangle mysteriously disappears. 2006 - Personal hygiene is forced upon France by new EU ruling. The French promptly withdraw from the EU. All traces of the bathtub are destroyed and the French quickly return to smelling of bad cheese and garlic. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Ukraine minister charged with corruption More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents? ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... bingo is the 3rd biggest killer of seniors, ranking just after posing for pictures with wild bears? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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