Babel:Spb

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 37,387 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

The Superb Owl XXXV. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article Today's featured article – Switzerland Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan. Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany. After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...) Recently featured: St. Pierre and Miquelon Minotaur The Witcher Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries Aw, hell no... January 10: Reefer Madness Day 370 BCE - Plato almost chokes after inhaling a dandelion, then writes the dialogue Clouds. 75 - John the Baptist makes an unexpected comeback and tours Europe with Buddha. John would stop at every head shop along the way. 1613 - Henry Carver, a resident of London, England, supposedly digs up the granite tablets containing the Ten General Commandments of All Humanity from beneath a cricket pitch near his home. Compies rejoice. 1810 - Napoleon divorces Empress Joséphine, calling her "a total fucking harpie" after she hogs the last spliff in the royal mansion. 1841 - Low on firewood, ropes made from hemp are burned by Mormon pilgrims in Utah. That night, visions from heaven assail them. 1863 - The London Underground is opened in England and promptly closes after a signal failure in Barking. 1968 - The Velvet Underground opens for the Stones in England and promptly closes after a signal failure in Tooting. 1968 - Napalm is dropped on a Vietnamese hemp field, which instigates the largest attack of the munchies known to man. 1979 - Disco is pronounced dead after a tragic cocaine overdose. 1991 - Kool-Aid retires the Kool-Aid Man after he is imprisoned for providing alcohol to a 14-year old girl. (pictured) 2017 - California legalizes weed, with Governor Jerry Brown announcing the voting results with, "Duuuuuuuuuuude... ". Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that it was I who let the dogs out? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate? Read More
edit Recent articles Alexander the Not So Great (pictured) | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
	UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper		Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
	UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore		Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
	UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
			UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,387 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
• Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
• UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
• Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
• Donate to Japan. Seriously.

---

• Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
• Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people

For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.