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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries June 2: Doris Day 455 – The Vandals plunder Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit. 1774 – The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, is reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews. 1801 – Napoleon Bonaparte is blown apart. 1866 - After practicing for rebellion in 1848 in Ireland, Irish patriots calling themselves Fenians invade Canada for more practice and take two towns. A British warship is installed in every duckpond and stop the attacks. The next practice would not be held until 1916. 1959 – The very first June bug is caught, but is determined to be a mayfly that stumbled across the International Date Line. 1968 – Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out. 1995 – Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling the rumor that North Koreans reproduce asexually using WMDs and fascism. 2001 – The first HAL9000 supercomputer is recalled by manufacturer Itsa Bigga Machine, eh?TM. 2003 – The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day [[ carillon]] Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that I don't know that you don't know that I don't know that you don't know nothing? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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