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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,466 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,466 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,466 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,466 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,466 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that under Communism, everyone gets an C? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that under Communism, everyone gets an C? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that under Communism, everyone gets an C? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that under Communism, everyone gets an C?	In the news Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos (pictured) DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ On this day... April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day 4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare. 1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day. 1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest. 1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues. 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan. 1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition. 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country. 1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public. 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon. 1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time. 1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture. 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military. 2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.
Featured picture [vote] Moaishoot.jpg Moaishoot.jpg - 13 statues commanded to "not move". ( 23 / 10 ) Now we know why they look so intense, all of them. Image credit: Gneomi
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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