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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,857 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,857 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,857 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,857 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,857 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates? ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates? ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates? ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates? ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long?	In the news Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile (pictured) John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong On this day... December 11: - Asian Boom Day 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city. 1841 - Oscar Wilde is imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense. 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." 1941 - Mao Zedong suggests to rename "Chinese demographic boom" to "Yellow Bang". Due to unpopularity of this idea among his generals, all of them were executed. 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all. 1983 - A passenger airlines goes Boom over the South China Sea. Only the pilots and hostesses survive after they are seen moments before the explosion floating in a rubber dingy thousands of meters below. Thank you for flying AirChina. 2005 - The face of Jesus is seen in a pizza. however, this is found after Jesus' collision with the delivery guy, who is now going to Hell. 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN. From this point on, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the leaders of conflicting nations. 2009 - The annual "Try Communism Day" is celebrated by the people of Lancashire. 2010 - Lancashire appoints Ted Dansen as Director of the Communist Party and Minority Relations Chairman. 2011 - President Ted Stevens brutally beats Hu Jintao to death with a series of tubes in a cage match, completing his domination and conquest of every country on Earth. The ban of weaponry two years earlier is regarded as "a mistake" by most UN officials not already killed by Ted Stevens.
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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