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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,024 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,024 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,024 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,024 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,024 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 19: Oh my god... I'm like... so freaking high right now... Kitten Huffing Day (traditional) 1000000 BCE -The first kitten is discovered by Egyptians. They try eating the kitten to get high but discover that you must sniff the critter. 1300 - Chinese explorer Hu Flhung Dhung brings back kittens to which the Chinese become instantly addicted. 1301 - Exactly one year later, the Chinese invent a more refined way of getting kitten into your system, now known by the street name "heroin". It is really kitten in pure form. 1462 - Holy Roman Emperor Yugo Hugo IV dies because he finds someone else's shoe wedged next to his toilet. 1915 - U.S. President Woodrow Wilson becomes the first American to get high on kittens. 1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time, discovering the first extra-terrestrial colony of humans huffing kittens. 1942 - The U.S. implements wartime rationing of kittens and all cats under two years old. 1969 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten. 1972 - After huffing several hallucinogenic tigers, India and Bangladesh sign a friendship treaty. 1978 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten. 1981 - Paint and Chihuahua huffing causes fatalities as kittens are in short supply. 2003 - Saddam Hussein is forced to huff goats due to the impending U.S. invasion. 2007 - Keith Richards snorts his dad, wins "Reformed Huffer of the Year" award from PETA.
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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