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“I've never seen such urination-arity!”
~ Oscar Wilde on this page
“This is the Main Page”
~ Captain Obvious on this page
As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity
Today's featured paragraph
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Did you know...
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*... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure what the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is?
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 13: Double Entendre Day *wink wink*
- 1891 - A horse walks into a bar for first time. Historians are not sure if he was a little horse.
- 1898 - A chicken "crosses the road" for the first time, but the event goes unnoticed by the media except for the news truck that ran it over.
- 1954 - A priest, rabbi and a minister walk into a bar, an event also unnoticed by media due to lame double entendre jokes that follow.
- 1955 - Martin McFly goes "back to the future" where things are "heavy" and Oedipal projection problems develop, requiring playing of Johnny B. Goode before it is written.
- 1956 - The word "whoa" is uttered the first time in history by a man seeing the worlds most beautiful woman completely naked being eaten by a giant robot octopus skateboarding out of a burning helicopter.
- 1967 - Thurgood Marshall "joins" the Supremes. The newly augmented group shortly releases their next album, For Great Justice.
- 1974 - A blonde agrees to a double entendre on the condition that all participants use protection.
- 1979 - George Lucas "releases" his biggest movie.
- 1981 - Quotation marks become "compulsory" to denote double entendres. Everybody "agrees" to this new law. Some "people" oppose the "abuse" of the "quotation" mark, obtaining a null "support" from the media (wink, wink, double wink).
- 1982 - Magic Johnson "roots" Yao Ming, gets AIDS.
- 1983 - Pioneer 10 becomes the first "man-made" object" to "pass the orbit" of Pluto. Uncyclopedian avoids easy Uranus joke.
- 1985 - Martin McFly comes "back from the future". Girlfriend "likes his truck" and McFly "gets his truck waxed".
- 1997 - A woman enters into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. And the barman "gives her one".
- 2000 - World's first self-reflexive "double entendre" is created.
- 2000 - George W. Bush makes one of his hundreds of speeches to "help" America (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
- 2004 - A woman pulls in to a gas station and asks the attendant to "fill her up". Attendant sells her some petrol. Opportunity for double entendre is missed, attendant is lynched.
- 2005 - Captain Crunch "promoted" to admiral for "services" to the nation.
- 2007 - A woman walks into a bar, but faints before the barman can make a double entendre. Woman is taken to hospital. Doctor tries desperately to save the double entendre that could have been, but sadly fails and the woman dies.
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| MonoLisa.jpg - 19.5 total votes ( 32.5 / 13 )
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DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."
Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer.
DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event.
Image credit: Nonymous
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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