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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,726 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,726 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,726 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,726 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,726 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... brevity is? ... that if it ain't broke, it wasn't made in China or America? ... brevity is? ... that if it ain't broke, it wasn't made in China or America? ... brevity is? ... that if it ain't broke, it wasn't made in China or America? ... brevity is?	In the news Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints (pictured) Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs On this day... September 13: Secondary Bastille Day (France), Dress Like a French Maid Day, New Jewish Year 5768 BCE - God creates Jews as the world's first practical joke then sets them on fire and extinguishes them via urination. 1768 - Mme. Bastille opens an eponymously named cake shop in Paris. The first signs of a confusion which will shape a nation come when the postman accidentally delivers 12 gallons of milk and eight pounds of flour to the Bastille prison, and 7 condemned enemies of the state to Mme. Bastille. She makes them a cup of tea and then forces them to ice cakes for Louis XVI. She will be fined 2 francs for forced labour and clashing icing color combinations. 1787 - Mme. Bastille nearly goes bankrupt having wrongly anticipating a surge in demand from peasants actually going out and eating cake. She sacks Marie Antoinette as a strategy consultant. 1789 - French revolutionaries storm the other Bastille. You know, the other one. It's just up the street from the first one, the one that we stormed already. No, not the tobacconist, next to that. Do I have to draw you a map? 1789 - Wedding cake figurines cause confusion in the dark among overexcited revolutionaries and the battle to take the Bastille cake shop rages for 3 days as a result. 1811 - Napoleon makes Secondary Bastille Day a public holiday throughout French-occupied Europe. The British respond with well-bred disdain. 1815 - A somewhat confused British man dies from keeping a stiff lower lip while eating cake. 1889 - The centenary of Secondary Bastille Day is marred when the organising committee grudgingly admits they don't know where the Secondary Bastille is, and are not even sure if there ever was one. 1940 - A platoon of German soldiers is sent to occupy the Secondary Bastille. They are discovered ragged, starving and lost in 1952. 1994 - President Bill Clinton initiates Dress Like a French Maid Day. 1997 - Tupac Shakur dies six days after being shot in Las Vegas. Witnesses described the assailant as being dressed like a French maid. 2000 - Al Qaeda decides that "9/11" is catchier than "9/13." Plans are postponed almost a full year. 2001 - To honor the victims of 9/11, Dick Cheney dresses like a French maid.
Featured picture [vote] Terrorgun.jpg Terrorgun.jpg - 9 total votes ( 13.5 / 4.5 ) The War Against Terror (TWAT) was fought with whatever tools the combatants could fashion themselves. The hockeyzooka, a weapon used by terrorist footsoldiers in the 9/11 attacks, proved devastatingly effective against the government's more ungainly thermonuclear warheads. Image credit: Machinecurse
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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