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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,892 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,892 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,892 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,892 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,892 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... when the going gets tough, the tough get going? ... and since it's 5PM, I'll be headed for home? ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns? ... when the going gets tough, the tough get going? ... and since it's 5PM, I'll be headed for home? ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns? ... when the going gets tough, the tough get going? ... and since it's 5PM, I'll be headed for home? ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns? ... when the going gets tough, the tough get going? ... and since it's 5PM, I'll be headed for home?	In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On this day... December 26: Packaging Day, Useless Office Memorandum Day, International Go to the Pub all Afternoon and Have a Row With the Missus Day The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum. 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out; he is condemned to a permanent red nose. 17 CE - Jesus recovers from a 'wicked birthday hangover' and cleans up the house before his parents get home. 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass. 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even. King Wenceslas then remembers that Stephen really, really likes snowcones. 1991 - The USSR trips on a banana peel and falls down. This marked the end of the communist regime, but Gorbachev's birth mark (wine stain) remained. 2002 - Last recorded vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard. 2003 - There is devastating spongecake in Ham because they own too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play. 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about, Bob Geldof creates a devastating tsunami. 2004 - There is devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they own too many fudges, and Bob makes them play. 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal is created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds is trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, thinking 'Hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?' 2008 - Mars is destroyed because the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay. 2011 - A devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay. 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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