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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,152 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,152 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,152 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,152 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,152 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that some of us are old enough to remember when there were only 3 elements in the Periodic table? Oh yeah, earth, wind, fire and water, so 4. ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents? ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it? ... that some of us are old enough to remember when there were only 3 elements in the Periodic table? Oh yeah, earth, wind, fire and water, so 4. ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents? ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it? ... that some of us are old enough to remember when there were only 3 elements in the Periodic table? Oh yeah, earth, wind, fire and water, so 4. ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents? ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it? ... that some of us are old enough to remember when there were only 3 elements in the Periodic table? Oh yeah, earth, wind, fire and water, so 4.	In the news Farage creates, wins crisis‎ (pictured) Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA On this day... August 26: Creationism Vs. Evolution Annual Boxing Match Day, International Ameobic Birthday 200,000,000,000,000,000 BCE - God creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaneously existing before existence, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated out and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) die of asphyxiation. 12,032 BCE - The wheel is invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe, UK. 5000 BCE - Creationists devolve from Homo sapiens. 1303 - Ala-ud-din Khilji wins Chittoor. It was behind door number 3. 1567 - A great feast held by Duke Crisco The Lard is held at his home in Edinburgh. The resulting mass cannibalism is attributed to the duke's great hunger for "Scots". 1963 - August 26th is designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative. 1971 - The discovery that God created evolution makes scientists and theologians come together in a peace pact signed by the seventh incarnation of Charles Darwin, a slightly confused chimpanzee named BoBo, and the Mecha-Pope, a blue 1965 Oldsmobile named Oldsmobile Model #32415 Serial:45563901. 1980 - The peace pact ends when Jerry Falwell decides to test everyone's faith by defying logic, saying that the entire universe was created in a 7 24 hour day period. 1981 - The right wing nutjobs abandon science and logic to be creationists, while the liberal sissies abandon all hope of spiritual salvation and Heaven to be evolutionists. 1990 - At a creation/evolution debate, creationists kick the evolutionist's asses when they use the argument: Where did the ball that started the big bang come from? 1997 - God, seeing all the confusion between the creationists and evolutionists, reacts to it by doing absolutely nothing. 2025 - A pastor begins to question creationism. 2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on Earth and everyone lives happily ever after.
Featured picture [vote] Falstropskittenhuffing.jpg Falstropskittenhuffing.jpg - 32 huffed kittens ( 33 / 1 ) Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop. Image credit: Sannse
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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