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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,908 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,908 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,908 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,908 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,908 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian? ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms? ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?	In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On this day... Where's my marble steps? January 2: Global Day of Shame and Regret (still not including Saudi Arabia), Season of Giving officially ends 0 - Nine months from now, Jesus is going to be born, or so the prophets say, not realizing that no such year exists and this would have Jesus born in September. The Libyan Sibyl grudgingly buys a calendar with kittens on it from the local bookstore. 213 - Cassius Dio first reports on the tribulations of the Germanic Alemanni tribe as they are being stomped on by the legions of Roman Emperor Caracalla "The Callous" after being extended the olive branch of peace. The tribe, later known as Swabians, would not forget and would become big fans of Rainbow, Black Sabbath and the band Dio. 1492 - Granada, the last Arab stronghold in Spain falls. Queen Isabella is now free to initiate Spanish Inquisition jokes. 1655 - The secret Yukon War takes place and ends on the same day after no one shows up. 1880 - Football is officially renamed soccer at Yale as a joke on Cambridge. A new aversion to America is born. 1933 - Adolf Hitler kills his grandmother and takes over as dictator of Germany. He explains that "she was a fucking Jew". All Christian churches give him absolution. 1945 - Hitler's bunker explodes under mysterious circumstances. His grandmother's ghost is a suspect. 1959 - Russia launches the Luna 1 satellite into space. Designed to crash into the Moon to determine the exact type of cheese it's made from, it misses, loops around and destroys a rocket about to launch at Baikonur Cosmodrome. 2003 - Some guy walks into his wasted buddy's room early in the morning to point out that the clock reads "01/02/03, 04:05:06." He is abruptly beaten with an old Sega Genesis controller, finally giving the C button a use. 2015 - Former fourteenth president and model train enthusiast Franklin Pierce rises from the dead to whine, bitch, and moan about no monument being erected for him for keeping the Union whole before "Buchanan fucked it up".
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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