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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,640 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,640 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,640 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,640 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,640 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough? ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home? ... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough? ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home? ... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough? ... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home? ... an apple a day keeps the doctor away if thrown hard enough?	In the news Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election On this day... July 11: International Pull My Finger Day, Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia) 1250 BCE - John Titor is present at the Battle of Troy but leaves upon discovering absence of internet discussion boards to incessantly babble on. 1307 - Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneers the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow accident. 1796 - The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798. 1804 - Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr. This is the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 is imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers. 1859 - A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray. 1864 - The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens. 1925 - Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships. 1955 - John Titor arrives in Hill Valley after being fired in 2037 from his radio gig. He seeks out Doc Brown's counsel about how to get really rich. 1961 - President Kennedy has sex with his wife, initiating J. Edgar Hoover's investigation of cross dressing in organized crime, the State Department and Marks and Spencer's Men's Department. 1963 - John Titor becomes a billionaire on betting on the World Series. He returns to 2036 and retires. 1997 - Prime Minister John Major loses an election after telling a "pull my finger" joke to the Queen, creating a grave scandal. She was later overheard to say that "We are most assuredly not amused". 2001 - Tony Blair legalizes public same sex farting in the Commonwealth, violating the Statute Of Westminster (1931) , a law which says the UK should mind its own business and get lost. 2002 - Tony Blair's farting legalisation is rescinded when Queen Elizabeth II farts on the bill rather than granting the Royal Assent. Protesters at Buckingham Palace fart in the Queen's general direction. 2013 - Barry Manilow's nose explodes after he falls for a "pull my finger joke". Gas comes out wrong orifice, killing 43. 2036 - John Titor returns to his own time and takes over hosting duties on Art Bell's Coast to Coast AM show, opening with his signature line, "Na na na na, told you so!".
Featured picture [vote] Sickophant.png Sickophant.png - 12 sickophants ( 12 / 0 ) A sickophant in its natural habitat. Image credit: Lyrithya
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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