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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,132 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,132 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,132 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,132 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,132 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that if Robert Plant heard Stairway to Heaven on the radio, he would sing along? ...and if Jimmy Page were there too, he'd play air guitar? ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... that if Robert Plant heard Stairway to Heaven on the radio, he would sing along? ...and if Jimmy Page were there too, he'd play air guitar? ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... that if Robert Plant heard Stairway to Heaven on the radio, he would sing along? ...and if Jimmy Page were there too, he'd play air guitar? ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... that if Robert Plant heard Stairway to Heaven on the radio, he would sing along? ...and if Jimmy Page were there too, he'd play air guitar?	In the news Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges On this day... August 2: Intentionally Give a Stranger Misleading Directions Day 456 - Marauding Mongol hoards are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe. 1101 - Crusaders are given misleading directions so carefully coordinated that the vanguard of the army will attempt to attack the rear guard. 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggests that the stranger seek directions from his own mother. 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be", the series of events that follow cause the stock market crash and the Great Depression. 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia. 1939 - (12:22pm) Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at a gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow are invaded by accident. 1945 - Bugs Bunny fails to make a left at Albuquerque for the first time. It would hardly be the last, with his tunneling eventually causing ground collapse in large parts of New Mexico. 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between male and female drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels. 2000 - GPS accuracy for civilian use is upgraded to military levels so that both can be equally lost. Earlier, drivers could be distinguished from each other in heavy fog and in the dark by the more creative cursing used by the military.
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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