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~ Oscar Wilde on this page
“This is the Main Page”
~ Captain Obvious on this page
As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity
Today's featured paragraph
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Did you know...
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*... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... if at first you don't succeed, keep hitting the refresh button?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... if at first you don't succeed, keep hitting the refresh button?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... if at first you don't succeed, keep hitting the refresh button?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
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In the news
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On this day...
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September 20: Sexual Innuendo Day, Sophia's Birthday, International Talk Like a Landlubber Day
- 20,000,000 BCE Formation of the Amazon rainforest, a warm, wet, lush, dripping virgin jungle.
- 30,000 BCE Oonak of the Tribe of the Wolf tells Nooma of the People of the Lake that he's got a big, thick woody club back in his cave that he'd love to show her, inventing sexual innuendo.
- 1187 - Saladin begins a siege on Jerusalem, hoping he can create a crevice in the walls and then forcefully insert his troops.
- 1519 - Ferdinand Magellan sets sail from Sanlúcar de Barrameda on a long, hard, drawn out expedition to circumnavigate the globe, with about 270 seamen.
- 1815 - First railroad tunnel finishes construction. It is tested by running a train in and out of it repeatedly.
- 1837 - Rugby is invented. It is a game played by burly men with odd-shaped balls.
- 1920 - Strawberry ice cream invented. Strong sales are seen for this soft, wet, pink dessert.
- 1930 - Workers struggle to erect the mighty tower of the Empire State Building.
- 1934 - Sophia Loren born. Assume the Position of Reverence by kneeling and lowering your eyes.
- 1939 - Second World War declared. Churchill states in his first War-time speech: "We're going to be up against stiff opposition, and what we as a nation will experience in the coming months is going to be long and hard."
- 1940 - First printing of "Biggles Goes Down".
- 1940 - Allies get access to Japanese military intelligence after the Japanese "Purple" code is decrypted by Genevieve Grotjan, a cunning linguist.
- 1942 - Werner Von Braun continues work perfecting the V-2 rocket. The V-2 is designed to burn ethanol and liquid oxygen, causing exhaust to spurt out of the nozzle, generating prolonged, forceful thrust.
- 2005 - Israel pulls out of Palestine.
- 2006 - Work continues on the Tautona gold mine in South Africa. Extending three miles underground, this mine holds the record for the world's longest shaft. Plans are being drawn up to plunge the shaft still deeper into the womb of the Earth.
- 2006 - President Bush's attempts to quell the violence in Iraq prove impotent, making his presidency look increasingly limp and flaccid. He insists this is the "first time this has happened to me".
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Featured picture
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[vote]
| FoxSpoof.jpg - 22 fortresses besieged ( 27 / 5 )
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In an effort to extend its presence to areas that were previously only covered by UnNews, Fox News has founded a subsidiary in Middle Earth to stay competitive on the misinformation provider market.
Image credit: Kharpert
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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