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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,056 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,056 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,056 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,056 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,056 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? YOU HAVE THE UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO PUT A PANCAKE ON YOUR HEAD ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? YOU HAVE THE UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO PUT A PANCAKE ON YOUR HEAD ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other? ... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? YOU HAVE THE UNCONTROLLABLE URGE TO PUT A PANCAKE ON YOUR HEAD ... Fork Knife is a game about finding fine dining and making reservations during an apocalyptic Uncyclopedia split? ... and that the Battle Royale version has hundreds of Oscar Wildes throwing shade at each other?	In the news Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane On this day... May 7: International Daintiness Day (pictured) 1274 - In France, the Second Council of Lion ends in a bloodbath. Final Score: Councillors 2, Lions 37. 1776 - Pollsters in the American colonies find "zero interest" in freedom and democracy, find most are content with ruthless monarchy and doughnuts. 1824 - Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony debuts in Austria, performed by a mute ensemble, to a deaf audience, and orchestrated by a conductor with no arms. 1902 - The Wright Brothers and Dudley Do-Right set out to prove that 3 rights make a left. 1920 - The Treaty of Moscow is signed, in which Soviet Russia agrees not to invade the nation of Georgia. It is broken six months later, when Soviet forces capture Atlanta. 1961 - Feminine ultra-spy Mrs. J is sent to Cairo, Egypt by the higher-ups at MI-5. She finds proof that Britain is meddling with Egypt and informs her superiors, only to be jailed. She then escapes by disguising herself as a basilisk but is wounded by a thrown enchanted marshmallow. After being rescued and brought back to health by penguins, a grateful Mrs. J dedicates her life to being a penguin nanny. 1967 - Pope Paul VI designs the miniskirt for Swiss Guard's summer uniforms. FABULOUS! 1968 - USA weather: Summer of Love is forecasted with a 50% chance for civil unrest. 1969 - The first man on the Moon does it in his pants the wrong way. 2010 - The General Election result is realized in the UK. Suicide rates increase 10%.
Featured picture [vote] Thermopylae.jpg Thermopylae.jpg - 27 total votes ( 30 / 3 ) Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. Image credit: Mhaille
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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