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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,649 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,649 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,649 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,649 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 377,649 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport? ... turtles can run at top speeds of 87 miles per hour, but only in short bursts? ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport? ... turtles can run at top speeds of 87 miles per hour, but only in short bursts? ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport? ... turtles can run at top speeds of 87 miles per hour, but only in short bursts? ... the film Casablanca takes 102 minutes to tell the story of a guy who gets his ex and her husband to the airport?	In the news Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election On this day... July 18: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day (pictured) 1812 - In desperation, Tchaikovsky is forced to include cannons in his 1812 Overture when bassoonists go on strike. 1835 - Bobwire is invented by Bob "Two-thumbs" McGinty. 1863 - American Civil War: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, and Morgan Freeman charge a Confederate fort in what is commonly agreed to be one of the most passionate scenes in cinema history. 1872 - Britain introduces secret ballot voting so that aristocrats across the country may more convincingly drop their monocles in indignant surprise after the rabble have their way. 1879 - Oscar Wilde obtains the cane he becomes known for posing with during a contest of wit with a man owning a cane. 1883 - Jimmy the Cowboy is born in what is believed to be Kentucky. 1906 - Prince Edward Island residents attempt to secede but find the island too big to row away from Canada. 1964 - Movie subtitles are used for the first time for A Hard's Day's Night as audiences are unable to understand the Beatles. Meanwhile, audiences in Liverpool flee theaters when they see moving pictures for the first time. 1969 - Mary Jo Kopechne & Sen. Ted Kennedy plunge off Chappaquiddick Bridge, thus tying up all the loose ends. 1971 - Hunter S. Thompson has a rather nasty trip. Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day is established in honor of this occasion. 1972 - Hunter Thompson takes more bad trips to get more holidays named for him. 1990 - Interruptions continued to occur in all aspects of daily business as people repeatedly were urged to "stop" during the period known as "Hammer Time".
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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