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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,138 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,138 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,138 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,138 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 378,138 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period? ... and today, SpongeBob is? ... that Wikipedia tells us that Drypetes gerrardii, a South African tree, was named after William Gerrard, a botanical collector active in the 1860s? ... and it is a contest to see which of us could care less? ... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period? ... and today, SpongeBob is? ... that Wikipedia tells us that Drypetes gerrardii, a South African tree, was named after William Gerrard, a botanical collector active in the 1860s? ... and it is a contest to see which of us could care less? ... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period? ... and today, SpongeBob is? ... that Wikipedia tells us that Drypetes gerrardii, a South African tree, was named after William Gerrard, a botanical collector active in the 1860s? ... and it is a contest to see which of us could care less? ... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period? ... and today, SpongeBob is?	In the news Farage creates, wins crisis‎ (pictured) Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA On this day... August 14: Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL) A long time ago - Emperor Ovaltine consolidates his power in the Galactic Empire. When he hears about it, Mace Window is shocked. 1844 BCE - Toast is invented. 1855 BCE - Following the War of a Thousand Toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 3000 years. 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Germany, is completed. It smells great! 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era. 1987 - A young explorer named Wally ("Waldo" in the Americas) is reported missing. 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddy's friends to be president of the United States. 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word. Eggo remains as a frozen waffle. 2006 - Horizontal line is discovered in your pants. 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants. 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough. 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator is introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator. 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented. 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected. 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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