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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries May 10: Smoking Monkey Day (Kenya), Happy Super Good Fun Smiley Day (Japan), Step-Mothers-in-Law Day (USA) 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the scooter. 1512 - The Male German Eruct Choir is founded by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero. 1865 - American Civil War: latest score 23-47, Confederates on 4th and 10, no time outs remaining. 1940 - Adolf Hitler sends the German Army to vacation in France and Belgium. 1972 - The Day the Earth stood still. Klaatu barada... nikwich? Uh-oh. 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidently squashed by a hippo. 1985 - Live Aid Concerts are announced; starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated. 1994 - Eclipse of the Sun is caused by Pamela Anderson over most of Norway. 1998 - The German band Scooter returns the favor by dedicating How Much Is the Fish? to Amerigo Vespucci. 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale are spotted in IKEA. They are seen arguing over whether storage units are worth it and will fit in the car. 2005 - Live 8 Concerts announced; Bush and Blair promise this time things will be different. 2006 - National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA is organised by TAMIR, The Association for Most Ignored Relatives. They later set up National Younger Half-Brother Day, and National Grandfather's-21-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day. 2006 - Africa is officially on a diet – it's not hunger. See, pop stars have saved the world!! 2008 - James Madison rises from the dead to reclaim his throne as the greatest person ever. 2037 - Young MC turns 70. Irony threatens Earth's existence. Archived Anniversaries	Word of the day expletive Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Need advice? Ask Cthulhu! More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... you can't skip this GEICO ad, because it's already over? Do you care... ... that at the 2018 Grammy Awards ceremony, Beyoncé had an accent malfunction? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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