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Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)

This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.


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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Sophia has inspired us to work on 37,295 articles since opening in January 2005.


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Today's featured article


Today's featured article – Bunsen burner

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A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs.

According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...)

Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth

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The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...)

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Selected anniversaries

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January 9: Triple Entendre Day

  • 1559 - Michel de Nostredame correctly predicts the French king will break his nose and is forever remembered as Nostrildamus.
  • 1904 - England, France and Russia agree to the Triple Entente, intent on making the most triple entendres. After several fruitless years, they would only have the triple burger and triple-thick shakes to show for their efforts.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler plays "ball" with Neville Chamberlain.
  • 1982 - Tony Danza "eats" a "banana" and looks stupid in slow motion.
  • 1987 - Saddam Hussein "gasses" the Kurds, but it ends up being very painful.
  • 1996 - Andreas Karoliussen, famous Georgian actor, gets fontanellized by the young musician Kanye West.
  • 2002 - Osama bin Laden is voted "Man of the Year" by Time Magazine, after all the charity work he did in 2001 for Islamic organizations and networks.
  • 2010 - Starbucks starts a promotion with Paris Hilton to continue helping young tweens aspire to be fashion whores with no hope of breaking the glass ceiling.
  • 2011 - The term "high school" is abolished after complaints from parents suggesting that it's "too politically correct".

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  • ... if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, Bishop Berkeley will get into a fistfight with William of Ockham?


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Writer and Noob of the Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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