Main Page/Gamma

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. Sophia has inspired us to work on 37,009 articles since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Best of | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

The flag of Turkey, as it has appeared since 1844. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article Today's featured article – UnNews:Uncyclopedia defends inept comedy at Supreme Court The case is Novak v. City of Parma, in which plaintiff Anthony Novak (not the famous one) wrote a Facebook page ridiculing the police in Parma, Ohio. Parma is a small Midwestern city (parma is Latin for "small", nearly), these are governed by people with thin skin, and they notified Novak to cease and desist or he would be investigated. Novak ceased and, by all accounts, desisted; and Parma shelved the investigation — and went straight to the arrests. The police jailed Novak overnight and, as is usual in such cases, seized computer equipment that might yield information on the crime, such as printers, routers, and refrigerator magnets. Novak claimed his work was an obvious parody and he was found not guilty. He then countersued claiming the police violated his rights. Lower courts dismissed the suit, using the same doctrine used at the state's playground basketball courts: "No blood, no foul." But the pesky Novak has appealed to the Supreme Court. (more...) Recently featured: Sam Bankman-Fried The Clash Treasure Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Sam Bankman-Fried Samuel Benjamin "Sam" Bankman-Fried (or SBF, born at night but not last night) was an American finance executive, a darling of the world finance industry for his innovations in the fields of formal kleptocurrency and casual dress. Afterward, he was an inmate, rotting away in an unmarked cell in the Bahamas' squalid Fox Hill Prison, denied bail as a flight risk. Still later, he acceded to a date in U.S. District Court, was charged with enough things to have him die in prison, but was curiously bailed out and put in the custody of his professor parents on the opposite coast. Thus every day of the trial, he will be (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries February 5: I Love American Football Until Baseball Starts Day 955 - Scribes create the first baseball cards. The also make the first error card describing St. Barnabas being a second baseman for the Pittsburgh Pirates. 1152 - Peyton Manning almost makes it to Super Bowl DCCCXV but he loses the AFC Championship after getting sacked five times by the Frankfurt Galaxy's linebacker Frederick Barbarossa. 1307 - An enraged King Philip IV of France attacks the Knights Templar after their Manchester United team beats the King's favorite Saint-Étienne 1-0 in overtime. 1788 - Peyton Manning secretly ghostwrites one of the Federalist Papers. Sadly, he forgets which one. 1839 - General Abner Doubleday pretends to invent baseball. The use of cannons and bayonet charges would be quickly eliminated from the rulebook, but would eagerly be adopted by the world of rugby. 1860 - Rugby rules are added to the American game but it is still called football for all the feet flying around, whether still attached to a leg or not. 1886 - English plumber Thomas Crapper invents the modern Super Bowl. 1898 - American colleges allow female students to attend if they agree to become cheerleaders. The words "bimbo" and "slag" are quickly invented. 1903 - Gay males are secretly allowed to attend college as male cheerleaders, since they are the only ones with dance moves that don't make them look like uncoordinated dickheads. 1912 - Colleges lower their academic requirements for football players, making any violent criminal not on death row eligible to play. 1913 - Colleges raise their academic standards for football players, requiring a minimum measurable amount of brain cells to be eligible. 1914 - World War I breaks out but Americans fail to notice as it begins in the middle of baseball season. 2002 - Footballs acquire sentience and start dating supermodels, get into fights in clubs and become beloved overpaid and arrogant prima donnas like the players themselves. They secretly take steroids which will not be noticed for years despite the balls growing to 3 ft (about 1 m) long. 2012 - Defense is not longer allowed to make for higher scores. With no defensive players, the salary cap becomes less of an issue. Archived Anniversaries	Word of the day karaoke Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Steve Irwin replaces King Charles on Aussie $5 note (pictured) Tarantino caught watching porn parody of own film Sunak captains ship of state past icebergs Prince Harry's dog to get own show Fall Out Boy kidnaps Weezer's Rivers Cuomo PM to make pupils study medicine until 18 FTX crooks and prosecutors exchange lies Aussie shopper gets Playstation 5 for free‎‎ Ukraine bans bad Christmas music Ex-Royals dish serious dirt in Netflix show‎ Santa to join Christmas strike action San Francisco police get RoboCop for Christmas (UPDATED) Horse to stand for next Tory leadership Christmas workers report a spike in back problems Trump gears up for 2024, dines with racists Need advice? Ask Cthulhu! More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that when a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with a pistol will start giggling uncontrollably over the scene in Fistful of Dollars? Do you care... ... one of the great ironies of the Crimean War was that the Earl of Sandwich's troops were constantly sandwiched between Russian artillery and cavalry? ... and that Lord Raglan had nothing up his sleeve? Read More
edit Recent articles Romanos III (pictured) | Star Wars Holiday Special | Capybara | House of Seleucus | Arduino | Idiot light | Isle of Man TT | Sam Bankman-Fried | Tower crane | J.B. Pritzker | Treasure | DEFCON | Liz Truss | Dinesh D'Souza | Isle of Harris | Video Ezy | The Clash (r/w) | House of Ptolemy | Crudites | Caesium | Liz Cheney | Uriah Heep (light r/w) | Billy Jack | Rush: 2112 (r/w) • Xanadu (r/w) • Bastille Day (r/w) • John Rutsey • Jeff Jones • Hugh Syme • Terry Brown • Aimee Mann (r/w) • Ocean (band) (r/w) • Neil Peart (r/w) • Alex Lifeson (r/w) • Geddy Lee (r/w) • Rush (r/w) More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.

	UnNews The news source on crack		Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia		Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
	UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper		Games Another way to waste time		HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything
	UnBooks Content-free books		Unquotable Useless misquotes galore		Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it
	UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry		UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues		UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too
	Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice		UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck		UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock!
			UnCommons Broken media repository

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,009 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019.

If you find Uncyclopedia or its sista projects amusing, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

• International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
• Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
• UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
• Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
• Donate to Japan. Seriously.

---

• Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
• Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people

For nonsense-related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Main Page