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Today's Free Sample! Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President. St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...) Recently featured: Minotaur The Witcher Chess pieces Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Minotaur The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit More can be yours! Join today! December 3: World Structural Engineering Day 2542 BCE - Egyptian Pharaoh Khufu commands that a round tower be built as his tomb. Engineers and the constructors build a giant pyramidal structure instead following earlier practices. After a facepalm, Khufu requests the engineers and construction managers to inspect the structure's interior, then seals them all inside. He then buys a plot at Forest Lawn, where he rests today. 422 BCE - Ancient Greece develops the concept of ethics. This would be ignored by structural engineers and most people throughout history. 24 CE - Jesus becomes a carpenter but many of his projects would be denied licenses without approval by structural engineers. Luckily, the cross He will be crucified on is fast-tracked by Roman engineers. 901 - Vikings remove the horns from their helmets due to attacks by amorous bulls and nearsighted toreadors. 1173 - The foundation is laid for the Tower of Pisa; and the building almost immediately begins to tilt. Historians investigating the cause found original plans which had the name of the architect and the construction company cut out. They suspect the Mafia to be responsible as that group controls not only construction companies but picture postcard sales of the tower as well as every image of it on Getty or Shutterstock. 1923 - Bumblebees are forced to walk everywhere as calculations show they should not be able to fly. 1940 - Engineers fresh from building thrill rides at Coney Island and Palisades Park supervise the completion of their design of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. They decide to spice up the trip for commuters, exceeding their best efforts at the aforementioned amusement parks. (pictured) The U.S. government would later enlist the engineers in the war effort by having them volunteer for tank and aircraft construction in Germany and Japan. 1989 - The Stone Roses band writes a song that says they "want to be a door". 2013 - The 2.2 mile (3.5 km) eastern section of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge is completed with a cost overrun of only US$6.25 billion. With all of its subsequent problems, the bridge section has now been slightly downgraded to allow 35 cars an hour in each direction, and will stand up to winds of up to 10 mph (16 kph) and earthquakes of 3 on the extended wimp scale. Engineers assure that it will withstand an asteroid impact on Jupiter. Resistance to kaiju attack has not been addressed. 2018 - The SR 99 tunnel, created by boring a huge tunnel under Seattle, was celebrated at its opening by a crowd on the Viaduct, which not only had no toll and a view, but would later be torn down in favor of the toll tunnel. Archived Anniversaries	edit For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS! Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile (pictured) John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ... that virtual reality will soon allow you to read this in 3D? Read More
edit Recent articles! Exclusive access for PLUS members ONLY! Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium (pictured) | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent articles
Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,363 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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