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Sophia has inspired us to work on 37,369 articles since opening in January 2005, and YOU can view them ALL if you have a credit card or PayPal account! Hey kids! Before editing, please read the writing guidelines and flamewar manual. More Detail can be found in our Ignorable policies

General Gates, despite many shutdowns and crashes, emerged victorious in the Battle of Microsoft. Vote for featured image

Today's Free Sample! Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President. St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...) Recently featured: Minotaur The Witcher Chess pieces Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Minotaur The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit More can be yours! Join today! December 15: Hooker Appreciation Day (Canada, pictured), Small Donga Day (USA Whites only) 1200 BCE - "Oh my god! I love those boots! Where did you get them? I have to get a pair!" 1485 - The Renaissance man is created when Leonardo Da Vinci gets pissed off at all those damned deadlines set by everyone. Tell your local polymath to calm down, nobody wants another one of these things roaming the earth. 1698 - New Björk City is founded by the Swedish chef going "björk björk björk" one too many times, making the local Indians move as far way as possible. 1805 - Lewis and Clark buy a hooked rug from a Canadian hooker. 1969 - In response to the San Francisco Exhibition Incident of 1969, the United Nations imposes a world-wide ban on suicide by pointless drivel, the only death penalty enforced by the UN. 1978 - Massive grease fire at the Grease Hut burns on for hours. The little boy who lives down the street falls into it and is incinerated, while the management feels just awful about it. 1993 - Scotland invades Europe: first use of the Haggis Device. Mass confusion follows as the Haggis Device is powered by a kilt-wearin' mofo. 1998 - Shia LaBeouf proves that neither good looks nor acting talent is a requirement in movies or TV. 2005 - Stan formed, ruled by Stan in the Empire of Stan. 2005 - Roughly estimated to be the founding of the NeoIlluminati. Due to temporal manipulation technology, the date could be off as much as 400 eons, 356 years, 11 months, 43 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, 55 minutes, 34 seconds, and 2 picoseconds. 2007 - The end of the world at midnight in New Mexico. Michael Travesser and his cult commit mass suicide, probably, or something. People discover that he had sex with little girls and loads of married women, yet it's all about his sacrifice, isn't it? Archived Anniversaries	edit For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS! Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile (pictured) John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal? Read More
edit Recent articles! Exclusive access for PLUS members ONLY! Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium (pictured) | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent articles
Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,369 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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