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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh! Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 37,322 ships since we set sail in January 2005. Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank. If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight) Buried Treasure: Bilge Rats | Games | Marine Technology | Pirates | Grog | Coherent Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships...

A typical hand grenade used against tanks in WWII. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article – Norse Korea Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. Norse Korea's military strategies are inspired by the wisdom of the All-Father himself, who apparently advised, "Why invade your neighbors when you can just hold a never-ending parade and fire missiles that look like they were designed by Loki for his next prank?" The country’s nuclear tests resemble the ravings of a berserker, though one wonders if they might actually be Odin's attempt at a mid-life crisis — "Look, I can totally outshine Ragnarok, guys." (more...) Recently featured: Mark Levin Bunsen burner Woolly mammoth Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Mark Levin Mark Reed Levin (born September 21, 1957) is an American talk radio personality, host of The Mark Levin Show as well as a television show on Fox News. He has also written seven books. He specializes in current events, constitutional analysis authentic enough to make Wikipedia call it "incendiary," and his signature civil response to participants, including to adversaries he often invites to phone the show. And if you have a problem with that, buster, you can get the hell out of my article, you big dummy. (more...) You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose. More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia edit What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh! You spent how much on balsa wood condoms? March 31: Condom Appreciation Day 4000 BCE - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms, resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries. 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received. 1889 - The Eiffel Tower opens to the public. As the steel of the time is notoriously weak, workers rub Viagra into the metal to keep the tower erect. 1917 - The U.S. purchases the Danish West Indies and renames it the Virgin Islands to attract sailors. 1930 - The Motion Picture Production Code ("Hays Code") is created to stop immoral behavior from being shown on the screen, like dirty socks draped on a chair. Dirty sock fetishists would have to sneak across the borders for many years. 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression. 1958 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In. 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City. 1986 - AIDS becomes all the rage. Condom sales increase tenfold. 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms would increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people. 2020 - Robotic condoms are invented. 2030 - Robotic condoms, sick and tired of copulating with female genitals, turn gay. Archived doings	edit What be worrying the Land Lubbers DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia (pictured) Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Pirate Times edit Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that... From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains: ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty? Read More
edit Recent press ganged crew Woof (pictured) | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers
Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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