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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Switzerland

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

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Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

December 27: Invention of the Artificial Vagina

42 - 9th anniversary of the first anniversary.
537 - Emperor Justinian I officially opens the Hagia Sofia in Constantinople with a vicars and tarts party.
1521 - Fanatical protestant preachers arrive in Wittenberg to burst party balloons and declare the apocalypse is coming their way.
1703 - Portugal and Britain sign a trade deal to give the former better access to England's wine guzzlers. Port becomes very popular but results in a lot of gouty old men.
1831 - Charles Darwin boards the HMS Beagle, and begins his lifelong mission to undermine God and all that is decent.
1939 - Adolf Hitler becomes frustrated when Germany's top scientists fail to invent the artificial vagina.
1944 - Winston Churchill invents the artificial vagina and is hailed a hero. Hitler is crushed by this and committed suicide several months later
1945 - Josef Stalin invents Soviet artificial vagina, one hundred times younger, tighter, prettier and tastier than Churchill's. Long live Comrade Stalin! Long live the artificial vagina! Long live the Revolution! Long live the Workers, who can now wank with greater realism than the downtrodden hand-dependents of the Capitalist world! Down with Churchill! Down with Capitalism! Down with Marks and Spencers! Down with Fascism! Down with Debenhams and Waitrose! Down with hands, tissues and Vaseline!
1954 - Nikita Khrushchev condemns Stalin's Soviet artificial vagina, saying it screws the lonely and single.
1954 - Nikita Khrushchev is promptly 'dealt with' by the KGB. Long live the glorious Soviet Union!
1969 - Boxing Day causes many deaths from internal bleeding as its meaning is misinterpreted.
1990 - World Peace War declared on UNO by UNO members.
2005 - 5th anniversary of the universe exploding violently.
2007 - Major cleanup after boxes from Boxing day wipe out half the human population.
2008 - King Kong does Eeyore in the honey tree. Donkey Kong is born!
2009 - When people discover what Boxing Day is actually about, it is promptly cancelled.