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Today's featured article – Bunsen burner A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs. According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...) Recently featured: Woolly mammoth Kalamazoo Kalamazoo, Michigan Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...) edit Day of which by the is known is the is December 22: Female Awareness Day 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?" 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice. 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin. 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex. 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster. 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again. 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator. 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump. 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years. 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear. 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded. 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock. 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale. 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented. 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.	Prounnounce the English content of which today is by procrastination The attempts of using the in converse is 2 not. Science the strnght of which. edit In the news Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Ukraine minister charged with corruption Of the precise fortune? Questionate Grunt! edit Aknowledge of you... *... about alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments? ... the White House is really off-white?
Image of announcing is [vote] Vadersegway2.jpg Vadersegway2.jpg - 16.5 products placed ( 23.5 / 7 ) Darth Vader was the only spawn of Qui-Gon-Jinn, a legendary intergalactic televangelist who made millions on the planet Naboo curing toasters of inflammation. During his reign as King of Iceland, Darth Vader often took time off to endorse a variety of things, including the Segway. Image credit: RadicalX Archive - Picture call call by you is the young
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Manuscript make of person and the and new people which the monthly GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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