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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 37,406 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Today's featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count." Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...) Recently featured: Windows XP Switzerland St. Pierre and Miquelon Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Windows XP Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters. It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...) You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history March 21: Vernal Equinox (usually) 1627 BCE - Babylonian chief astronomer Ernest is informed that his assistant Vern has calculated today as the equinox. Ernest takes all the credit and names the event as "Day of Equal Lengths of Night and Day With No Connection to Vern Whatsoever". Historians would later correct this injustice. 5 CE - The first recorded instance of the question "What Would Jesus Do?" occurs when his mother asks what he wants for breakfast. 1804 - The Napoleonic code is adopted as law in France, although nobody could read it, being in code, duh. 1890 - Oscar Wilde pens his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray in the vicinity of one of his favorite sources of inspiration, a kitchen sink. 1919 - The Treaty of Versailles is dictated to several secretaries, ending World War I. One of them is a German spy and covertly adds a clause mandating a sequel. 1931 - The electric guitar is introduced, resulting in the genre of rock 'n' roll being born, enjoying its peak during the Great Depression. 1943 - In the last recorded mounted cavalry charge, soldiers on horseback from Austria-Hungary charge a battalion of Russian tanks and succeed in destroying 80% of them using only their broadswords and ceremonial poofy hats. 1993 - The first video is uploaded on the internet: a skin flute performance. 2015 - Several massive icebergs break off Antartica in an attempt to counter global warming. Climatologists all do a facepalm while the rest of the world think it to be a great idea. People in Florida throw icecubes into the ocean in solidarity. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is passenger Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... Uncyclopedia prefer to use cats instead of dogs for data retrieval for references? ... and this explains why most of its articles don't have references? You cannot deny... ...that love is not what makes Subaru, a Subaru; it's rather the wheels, body, and engine? More wisdom
edit Recently published Full house (pictured) | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada More recent stories | You have a voice | Revisionism | Build our country | Isolationists | Democracy | Help your party
Party members of the month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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