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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Minotaur

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The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

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Our glorious history

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October 22: Int-t-ternational S-s-stuttering Awareness Day, iNTERNATIONAL cAPS lOCK dAY

  • 4004 BCE - gOD CREATES THE HEAVENS AND THE eARTH AT EXACTLY 6:00 PM (ACCORDING TO bISHOP uSSHER)
  • 1376 - Mrs. Harris (the best descendant of Chinggis Khan) is born on this epic day!!!!
  • 1776 - Paul Revere rides, calling out "The B-B-B-Buh-Brit-Brit-British... " and is arrested and hanged.
  • 1780 - kING gEORGE iii DECLARES WAR ON TERRRRRRRROR.
  • 1850 - z-Z-Z-ZOM-ZOMBIES ATTACK WORLDWIDE. "b-B-BR-BR-BRAIIIINS" IS HEARD EVERYWHERE BUT UNINFECTED PEOPLE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ARE OVERWHELMED AND EATEN.
  • 1889 - aMERICAN tYPEWRITER'S uNION CHANGES NAME TO aMERICAN fEDERATION OF dICTATION tAKERS.
  • 1920 - tHE nEW yORK tIMES INTRODUCES ITS FAMOUS nEWS zIPPER SIGN IN tIMES sQUARE; THE wALL sTREET jOURNAL IS CAUGHT WITH ITS PANTS DOWN.
  • 1935 - P-Puh-Po-Por-Porky P-Puh-Pi-Pig is b-buh-bor-born. An amused King George VI would imitate him and get his brain stuck.
  • 1941 - wAR BREAKS OUT BETWEEN ALLIED STANDARD TYPEWRITER KEYBOARD LOVERS AND THE aXIS OF dVORAK USERS; PUNCTUATION SUFFERERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUGHT IN MIDDLE.
  • 1962 - dISGUSTED TRIFFIDS LAND IN cORNWALL AND fix all broken typewriters. Unfortunately, the rEPAIRS WOULD NOT LAST.
  • 1968 - LED ZEP-EP-EP-EPLIN RELEASES ITS CLASSIC ALBUM LED ZEPPPPLIN IIIII, FEATURING THE HIT SINGLE WHOLE LOTTTTA LLLLLOVE.
  • 2003 - mILLIONS OF N00BS WORLDWIDE DISCOVER THE CAPS LOCK KEY AND DECIDE TO ALWAYS TYPE LIKE THIS...
  • 2005 - Writing in all caps combined with leet proves the case for eugenics and millions are sent to re-education or extermination camps.
  • 2010 - I HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAVE TH-TH-TH-TH-THE WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WORST ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-ST FUCK THIS I'M OFF TO A HOUSE PARTY.

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Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK



Rodong Sinmun, page 2


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More wisdom

Party members of the month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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