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Today's featured article – Mark Levin Mark Reed Levin (born September 21, 1957) is an American talk radio personality, host of The Mark Levin Show as well as a television show on Fox News. He has also written seven books. He specializes in current events, constitutional analysis authentic enough to make Wikipedia call it "incendiary," and his signature civil response to participants, including to adversaries he often invites to phone the show. And if you have a problem with that, buster, you can get the hell out of my article, you big dummy. He has been described as "right-wing" by rational statesmen like Mitt Romney and has occasionally insinuated that some in the Republican Party are not enamored of Republican policies but are "Republican In Name Only" (RINO). (more...) Recently featured: Bunsen burner Woolly mammoth Kalamazoo Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Bunsen burner A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries Coffee Enema January 21: National Dirty Sanchez Your Dad's Coffee Day, Day of Tribulation 1000 BCE - Vikings land on an inhospitable island they call "Niv Iaerssei"; this event later forms the backbone of The Saga of Rigaatoni Pennesson. 1592 - Elmunsucío Sánchez Columbus discovers Atlantis, but loses the map. Thus it is lost for all eternity. 1654 - John Morrisey drinks too much coffee and gets a vision of a gigantic coffee empire, with himself riding on a male star deer. 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, sells out to the British. He later begins a travelling show, called Hey Arnold! 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub. His staff does not criticize the action or location but just arrange to have shower curtains installed around the South Portico. 1915 - The first Kiwanis Club meeting. To this day they still can't figure out what their purpose is, but constantly argue over who has the better wife. 1933 - Gangsters use machine guns to fire thousands of slugs at police but quickly replace them with snails. 1991 - First ever Yo-Mama Joke is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow. 1996 - Former Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett climbs the Empire State Building; some blonde chick knocks him off. 2000 - Aaron Copland conquers the Martians; historians vote this to be the "Best day... ever". 2008 - Tom Hanks falls off a bridge; there is much rejoicing. 2013 - Bob Barker dies from a Viagra overdose. 2036 - Tracy Morgan wins the gold medal in Olympic Stand-Up. Adam Sandler comes in third. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day hesitation Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ...that love is not what makes Subaru, a Subaru; it's rather the wheels, body, and engine? Do you care... ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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