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Today's featured propaganda
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Today's featured article – John Mahama
John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency.
Mahama was the candidate of the National Democratic Congress (NDC). His rise to office sets a variety of records: First President to be younger than the nation, first to be President in non-consecutive terms, and first to excel in hitting empty beer cans with stones from twenty paces (7 m). He has been an MP, pan-African MP, Deputy Minister, Minister, Vice President, and President, a feat known in Ghanaian political circles as "Bingo!"
Mahama started his first term upon the death of his predecessor, John Atta Mills, on 24 July 2012. The so-called Atta-boy gave a stirring speech to accept his new responsibilities. He stated, "This is the saddest day in our nation's history. Tears have engulfed our nation. (more...)
Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings?
- ... and that's why you have to wait so long to get your takeout order?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 9: Weird Types of Bear Appreciation Day (Australia: Drop Bear, China: Panda bear, Canada: Bipolar bear)
- 1337 - Wolverine is born, slashing his way out of his mother's womb. He was fine.
- 1429 - Joan of Arc entertains the English troops with a medley of show-songs from Bedknobs & Broomsticks.
- 1431 - Joan of Arc entertains more English troops with another medley of songs, this time from "Deadknobs and Burning-sticks" as she is set alight.
- 1497 - Vasco da Gama perfects the eye-watering fart. He is then exiled as far away as possible and manages to reach India.
- 1627 - An edict is passed in Switzerland requiring all lawyers to deliver evidence by yodelling. (pictured)
- 1671 - Pope Clement X is killed by the Queen's Guard while on a visit to England, being mistaken for that guy who stole the crown jewels in a pope costume.
- 1700 - Mr. T pities another fool. His work would never be done.
- 1861 - At the age of seven, Oscar Wilde begins his first job, working as a witticist's apprentice in a local humor emporium.
- 1934 - Anteaters formally name themselves the aardvark, seeking the lucrative first spot in taxonomy classifications.
- 1941 - SS chief Heinrich Himmler orders the arrest and deportation to concentration camps of all homosexuals in Germany. The German Army, once the most fashionable in the world, soon find themselves poorly groomed and wearing fatigues that clash with their boots.
- 1982 - Wikipedia destroys the Andromeda Galaxy. The destruction has not been seen yet due to the slowness of light speed.
- 1991 - Small, Medium, and Large complain to the United Nations, that Extra Large is abusing its position. The UN introduce sanctions, however these are withdrawn when it becomes known that size does not matter.
- 2008 - John Prescott admits to his bulimia being fraudulent after being caught on a 72-hour Pizza Hut binge.
- 2030 - Waldo is found.
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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