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37,343 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Today's featured article – The Witcher
The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.
The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.
A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)
Previously featured article – Chess pieces
Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? I♥HYPNOTOAD
- ... colourless is actually a valid colour, making "colourless" very colourful?
- ... cats smuggled into screenings of The Black Panther only gave it a rating of 65% on Metacritic?
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In the news
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On this day...
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July 5: X Day, Day After We Kicked the Brits Ass Day (Southern US)
- 1565 - Pirates mark an "X" on a beach to mark the spot where they bury treasure. When they return, the wind will have changed it to a "v" and they would fail to find it.
- 1687 - Isaac Newton (pictured) discovers gravity after being hit on the head by a falling fig.
- 1689 - After outbreak of falling fruit, Isaac Newton officially changes gravity to 7.
- 1884 - John Singer Sargent paints the Portrait of Madame X but is fired for spelling her name wrong.
- 1946 - The bikini is introduced in Paris. Later, no bikini atoll is the trend.
- 1967 - The first kidney transplant made of Lego bricks ends in tragedy.
- 1968 - The X from outer space destroys Tokyo. Weary residents already have construction equipment ready before it hatches.
- 1998 - Aliens fail to turn up and fry everyone to a pink crisp. Godzilla offers to do so instead but is politely refused.
- 2001 - Cultists get seriously pissed off with yet another no-show.
- 2003 - Aliens turn up, but not the right aliens. Bloody mocking tourists.
- 2004 - No one turns up as no one expects the aliens. And, yup, they don't.
- 2005 - The longest fart in world history is recorded. It is not produced by an alien.
- 2007 - Deal or No Deal? Aliens decide to take the money and not show up.
- 2010 - The Church of the Subgenius hijacks the Anniversaries July 5 page. The massive improvement is noted.
- 2155 - Aliens almost show but miss a left and land on Venus.
- 2156 - Aliens finally turn up and land in Tokyo but flee due to a Gundam statue that lights up at night.
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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