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37,340 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Today's featured article – Chess pieces
Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence.
Though some rules of the game have been adapted slowly over the millennia, the pieces have remained mostly unchanged and continue to move in much the same way as they did for intellectual wannabes in ancient India, friendless geeks in Sassanid Persia, and social inadequates in Moorish Spain.
When a game begins, each side starts with eight pawns (Australian English: Shrimps) - twelve short of a barbie. As the least valuable and most expendable member of your army, your pawns should be assigned a place in the front rank of the infantry. Do not waste body-armour or weapons on these grunts. Advanced players use terror and centuries of oppression to compel their pawns to advance unarmed and unarmoured across the open battlefield, even in the face of airborne attack from the Rooks. (more...)
Previously featured article – John Mahama
John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that if you see Buddha on the road, you should kill him, but first get his autograph on a baseball or something?
- ... the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that without lists, we feel listless?
- ... the Order of St. John is the #4 platter, to go?
- ... that Cirno will always be the strongest, beating the nuclear raven?
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 25: National Redneck Day (Southern US), LEON Day (6 months past Christmas); National Catfish Day (US)
- 524 - Battle of Vezeronce. The Franks defeat the Burgers, and liberate the Ketchup Kingdom from its tyranny and confining round shape.
- 1620 - Rednecks evolve from the Pilgrims.
- 1741 - Maria Theresa of Austria is crowned King of Hungary in what is possibly the most confusing coronation in history.
- 1838 - The first use of Escher-esque architecture is constructed when the Impossible Children's Playground is unveiled. It is not well-received.
- 1888 - Oscar Wilde pens The Happy Prince and Other Stories, now considered among the first pieces of literature to use thinly veiled homosexual tendencies to illustrate life lessons such as hand-washing.
- 1906 - Shortly after the introduction of the automobile, the first barrel clown is seen and documented in Jonestown, Illinois.
- 1997 - The "underfried" volcano erupts in Montserrat. It would be sent back to the kitchen.
- 1912 - LEON Day is established by Congress. Americans must have their Christmas decorations taken down by this day if their house has not already burned down. The law will be generally ignored by ignorant people claiming ignorance.
- 1981 - LEON Day is now celebrated in China as the first day of making Christmas ornaments and nuclear weapons for export.
- 2008 - U.S. President Barack Obama selects a cabinet, yet would require nearly two more weeks to settle on an acceptable bookshelf.
- 2008 - Congress rejects Obama's choice of bookshelf.
- 2009 - Michael Jackson dies while experimenting with a new form of moonwalk at the age of 50. His nose would have been 22.
- 2010 - Catfishing online exceeds catfishing in a lake or river in popularity. Rules 29 and 30 are established but are ignored by ignorant people claiming horniness.
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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