From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
37,280 governments to overthrow
|
|
|
|
|
Today's featured propaganda
|
Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants.
These large mammals were known, from stamp indentations on their passports, to have lived all over the northern most parts of the world, rarely leaving their home territory; however they were thought to migrate south, at least once a year, for Mardi Gras. Further evidence suggests that they preferred to travel in small caravans, two to each mid-sized sedan in order to expedite their migration via the carpool lane. (more...)
Previously featured article – Kalamazoo
Kalamazoo is a nonexistent city in southwestern Michigan. The state government, knowing it didn't have enough goofy-sounding towns like Kalkaska, invented Kalamazoo just to amuse people stuck in more conventionally named places like Detroit or Paw Paw. And even if it existed, there would be no zoo in Kalamazoo. A small Nature Interpretive Center, perhaps. (more...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille.
- ... that helium is found in natural underground deposits of thousands of party balloons of all colors and sizes?
- ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?
|
|
In the news
|
|
On this day...
|
|
November 21: International Couch Potato Day
- 1783 - Oprah and Shoobily Boobily ze French Guy had the first untethered hot balls flight.
- 1847 - The Great Irish Potato Famine reduces the number of couch potatoes in Scotland and Ireland by 25%. Tragically, this results in a global Deep-fried Mars Bar recession.
- 1877 - Thomas Edison announced his invention of the pornograph.
- 1963 - Lee Harvey Oswald gets laid for the last time.
- 1969 - The first AARPNET link was established.
- 1987 - Morrissey becomes the first person ever to be eaten by a grue and live. Annoyed, the grue eats him again.
- 1996 - Couch Potato Day is established to encourage nations to collectively sit on their asses watching pointless programs at the same time. Scheduled Programs for this day included 100 Ways to Watch Paint Dry, and 20 Things You Didn't Know About Carpet.
- 2002 - NATO invites Bulimia, A Stoner, Laffy Taffy, Lithium-Ion, Ramen-Mania, Slavekia and Slavekneea to become members.
- 2003 - Megatron destroys the Earth, only for it to be remade by Ultra Jesus.
- 2004 - I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus distributes Nintendo DS systems to cheering (m)asses in Nude York Shitty.
- 3503 - God purchases for Earth the expansion pack, Earth, 21st Century Terror. We all love him for that, don't we?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
|
| Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,280 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
