From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
37,320 governments to overthrow
|
|
|
|
|
Today's featured propaganda
|
Today's featured article – Norse Korea
Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause.
Norse Korea's military strategies are inspired by the wisdom of the All-Father himself, who apparently advised, "Why invade your neighbors when you can just hold a never-ending parade and fire missiles that look like they were designed by Loki for his next prank?" The country’s nuclear tests resemble the ravings of a berserker, though one wonders if they might actually be Odin's attempt at a mid-life crisis — "Look, I can totally outshine Ragnarok, guys." (more...)
Previously featured article – Mark Levin
Mark Reed Levin (born September 21, 1957) is an American talk radio personality, host of The Mark Levin Show as well as a television show on Fox News. He has also written seven books. He specializes in current events, constitutional analysis authentic enough to make Wikipedia call it "incendiary," and his signature civil response to participants, including to adversaries he often invites to phone the show. And if you have a problem with that, buster, you can get the hell out of my article, you big dummy. (more...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that Wikipedia tells us that Drypetes gerrardii, a South African tree, was named after William Gerrard, a botanical collector active in the 1860s?
- ... and it is a contest to see which of us could care less?
- ... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year?
- ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that if you hold a seashell to your ear, you can hear a hermit crab moving into your skull?
|
|
In the news
|
|
On this day...
|
|
March 29: Get Down And Boogie Day in Orthodox Funk
- 1700 BCE - Moz-Iz eases on down the mountain with the 10 Commandments of Groove.
- 1580 - The Pope releases his first Billboard hit, F*** The Pro-Testants.
- 1776 - The Boston Tea Party is ruined when colonists drop the tea in the harbor.
- 1809 - Pat Sajak is crowned Duke of Fjords in Finland. (pictured)
- 1844 - The Democrats are split in their convention. Then from Nashville comes a dark horse riding in; it is James K. Polk with the snappy slogan, "Better a Polk in the eye than a limp Johnson".
- 1902 - Al Gore invents prototype for the internet, known as "Magic Communi-box".
- 1936 - Joe Louis beats Marvin "The Jersey Jew" Rabinowitz in Madison Square Garden for the heavyweight boxing title. Rabinowitz, 76, would retire to Florida soon afterwards.
- 1969 - U.S. schools change their atomic bomb attack response protocol from "drop and cover" to "get down and boogie".
- 1982 - Kentucksylvania admitted as 30th Spade of Amerika.
- 2003 - The new Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy is released to stores in a far away alternate universe.
- 2011 - Today, a funky possum pisses in your eye.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
|
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
|
| Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,320 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
