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37,400 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Today's featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.
Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.
Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)
Previously featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... Mister Rogers was not a Navy SEAL as rumored but a sea lion in disguise?
- ... that Killing Joke, the band that performed the song Eighties, are now in their eighties?
- ... one of the great ironies of the Crimean War was that the Earl of Sandwich's troops were constantly sandwiched between Russian artillery and cavalry?
- ... and that Lord Raglan had nothing up his sleeve?
- ... your local restaurant "borrowed" its special recipe from the movie Pink Flamingos?
- ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
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In the news
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On this day...
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April 8: International Things That Rhyme With 'Bat' Day
- 563 BCE - Buddha is born. Under a tree he sat.
- 432 BCE - Artemus of Capadocia introduces kitten huffing to the world when he huffs a small cat.
- 73 CE - Pliny the Elder records the first instance of fortune telling through analysis of scat.
- 881 - Holy Roman Emperor Charles III is given the nickname Charles the Fat as all the good nicknames were already taken. And that is that.
- 1611 - A new sport is introduced when Swedish people use a cannon to launch a rat.
- 1656 - Rembrandt buys a can of glossy brown paint only to find it is matte.
- 1885 - Industrialist Andrew Carnegie thinks his secretary tells him that he is a milliner. So he makes a hat.
- 1935 - FDR signs Emergency Relief Appropriation Act, then dances a jig and falls flat.
- 1998 - Another explosion occurs in the usually serene inlet of Michael Bay, sounding like this: 'splat'.
- 2006 - Conservapedia is founded and its editors immediately make such valid claims as 'the Earth is flat'.
- 2011 - Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal proves himself to be a prat.
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Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| Jeanpool1.png - 19 pools of jeans. Geddit? ( 19 / 0 )
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Experts advise against chlorinating the jean pool, as it causes the dye to bleed, and acid-washed jeans haven't been cool since '86.
Image credit: RadicalX
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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