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37,353 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? MOVE BACK INTO SURVEILLANCE CAMERA RANGE
- ... that the Mayan colander was a drain on its civilization?
- ... WWII pocket battleship Admiral Graf Spee sank only one naval warship?
- ... and that it was itself?
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In the news
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On this day...
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October 19: Feast of Saint Roger (Estonia). Feast of Rogering Saints (Bulgaria).
- 24 CE - Saint Roger invites his chums to his residence, Gobblewood Mansion, and holds a feast.
- 26 CE - Saint Roger gets raped by hillbillies while on holiday in Bulgaria.
- 121 - Saint Roger is canonized by the pope, the anti-pope, the ant pope and the pope's auntie.
- 568 - Children in a field see a vision of Saint Roger in the sky. Not knowing who it is, they chuck rocks at him.
- 1161 - The first trout is launched into space by Russia onboard Stenchpotski 12.
- 1349 - Postmen all over England suffer the Sack Death.
- 1607 - Elizabeth I of England rises from the dead as a zombie, then dies again of a bad cold.
- 1899 - Nokia renames itself Bobcom.
- 1920 - Bobcom renames itself Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications.
- 1922 - Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications renames itself London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft.
- 1924 - London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft renames itself Nokia.
- 1925 - Nokia Phone Company renames itself Phil the lovable huggable drunkard, but then decides that it projects a negative image on their homeless phone subscribers, so they change back.
- 1943 - English and American pilots come to blows over the use of the word "roger".
- 1973 - Pfft is created and every word in the dictionary is thusforth removed for the rest of eternity. Except for one word. Pfft.
- 1983 - 34 Nazis decide to hold a square dance, which result in a whole new line of trousers being released.
- 1990 - Toasters take over the internets messaging services. Ovens are taken in for questioning.
- 2004 - Nokia renames itself NO CIA, and starts a nuclear war.
- 2011 - Saint Roger reappears in ghostly form and wins The X Factor but disappears before Simon Cowell can roger him over his recording deal.
- 2456 - Buck Rogers wonders why British time travellers snigger when he is introduced to them.
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Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| Lance brick.jpg - 24 total votes ( 28 / 4 )
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When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.
Image credit: Sunsneezer
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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