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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 10 March 2026      00:07  Block log Abuse filter talk contribs blocked EllieCantara4 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) 9 March 2026      23:44  (User creation log)‎ [Swangupyourpussy‎; SungCapasso97‎; Loreee‎; Golden MC‎; GenesisGoldhar5‎; EllieCantara4‎; Connorisk‎; AnthonyO89‎; (username removed)‎ (25×)]       23:44 User account EllieCantara4 talk contribs was created ‎       22:00 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:58 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:58 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:57 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:56 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:55 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:54 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:53 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:53 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:52 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:52 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:51 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:51 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:50 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:50 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:50 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:49 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:49 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:48 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:48 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:47 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:47 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:46 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:46 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:45 (username removed) (log details removed) ‎(edit summary removed)       21:45 User account Swangupyourpussy talk contribs was created ‎       21:28 User account Golden MC talk contribs was created ‎       20:03 User account Connorisk talk contribs was created ‎       18:28 User account Loreee talk contribs was created ‎ Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       10:51 User account AnthonyO89 talk contribs was created ‎       07:54 User account SungCapasso97 talk contribs was created ‎       03:51 User account GenesisGoldhar5 talk contribs was created ‎      22:04  Huff log Spike talk contribs changed visibility of 25 log events on Special:Log/newusers: content hidden, edit summary hidden and username hidden ‎(Vandal)      22:02  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎ (2×); Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       22:02 Spike talk contribs blocked Connorisk talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       22:00 Spike talk contribs blocked Swangupyourpussy talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       14:47 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked AnthonyO89 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       07:55 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked SungCapasso97 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       03:51 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked GenesisGoldhar5 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      18:44  Amygdala‎‎ 4 changes history -449‎ [Spike‎ (2×); Loreee‎ (2×)]       18:44 (cur | prev) -136‎ Spike talk contribs ←Undid revision 6229202 by Loreee (talk)--Be funny, and encyclopedic. (Duh) Tag: Undo       18:43 (cur | prev) -493‎ Spike talk contribs Better yet: quoticide; also, kill external links       18:39 (cur | prev) +136‎ Loreee talk contribs →‎Brain Travel Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       18:30 (cur | prev) +44‎ Loreee talk contribs bludbon :) Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      18:09  Conservative Party‎ diffhist -79‎ Spike talk contribs →‎top: Copy-edit Intro; "Tory" into lede      13:34  Soviet-HeavyTF2 War‎‎ 3 changes history +123‎ [Spike‎; 99.209.7.170‎; VadimKalashnikov‎]       13:34 (cur | prev) -1‎ 99.209.7.170 talk       09:38 (cur | prev) +89‎ Spike talk contribs {ICU}       02:44 (cur | prev) +35‎ VadimKalashnikov talk contribs N    09:45  User talk:VadimKalashnikov‎‎ 2 changes history +1,163‎ [Spike‎ (2×)]  m    09:45 (cur | prev) +1‎ Spike talk contribs fix N     09:44 (cur | prev) +1,162‎ Spike talk contribs {Oh Dear}; mini-review (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages? ... Wikipedia has an article about potato production in Zimbabwe, leaving Uncyclopedia editors stunned? ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages? ... Wikipedia has an article about potato production in Zimbabwe, leaving Uncyclopedia editors stunned? ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 10: Chuck Norris's & Osama Bin Laden's Birthdays 822 - Peasants happily live with short, harsh and miserable lives in order to be able to do without really bad Chuck Norris and Oscar Wilde jokes. 1871 - Oscar Wilde famously declares: "Working is the scourge of the drinking classes." 1900 - Ferdinand von Zeppelin perfects his lighter-than-air dirigible. The heavier-than-lead dirigible continues to confound him. 1922 - Membership in the Royal Society in Greater Hamptonsonfordshireborough Upon Newcastle reaches its peak. However, they fire the staff of their palatial headquarters and tragically perish of starvation when no member is found who knows how to operate a doorknob. 1940 - Chuck Norris is born. Meanwhile the US has yet to enter WWII so he has no one to roundhouse kick. 1957 - Osama Bin Laden is born on Chuck Norris's 17th birthday. bin Laden immediately attempts to get his millionaire father to drop a gold Acme anvil on Norris for funsies. 1962 - Dr. Jack Kevorkian runs into his first episode of legal issues after endorsing Gold Bond's Medicated Powder featuring TapewormsTM. 1973 - Astronomers discover rings on Uranus. Exactly why they bothered to look becomes the real question. bin Laden is horrified when the joke is explained to him. 1974 - Pairs of criminals learn how to carefully space themselves apart so Chuck Norris can jump and kick them simultaneously. 1979 - Osama bin Laden receives $40 billion from the US and Saudi Arabia to fight the Russians in Afghanistan. This leaves his own millions untouched so that he could buy all the porn and drugs he wants. 1984 - A Washed-Up 70's Rock Band releases Ill-Advised Album in what many feel is the beginning of a decline in music quality. Music critic Captain Obvious agrees, citing the inability to dance the minuet or pavane to their music. Osama bin Laden burns his father's Bing Crosby records in agreement. 2008 - The economy, like, totally starts taking a nosedive. Captain Obvious rears his ugly head again, though he is already on welfare. 2011 - Chuck Norris turns 71 and is officially declared "Hella Old". Bad weather forces special ops teams to take on their secondary target, Osama bin Laden.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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