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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 19 August 2026      08:54  (User creation log)‎ [RamonaCarvosso‎; PhilBusey052‎; MerrillKrimmer‎; ErnieSchultz0‎; DorcasGainey8‎]       08:54 User account ErnieSchultz0 talk contribs was created ‎       07:52 User account DorcasGainey8 talk contribs was created ‎       07:01 User account MerrillKrimmer talk contribs was created ‎       06:16 User account PhilBusey052 talk contribs was created ‎       04:41 User account RamonaCarvosso talk contribs was created ‎      08:54  Block log Abuse filter talk contribs blocked DorcasGainey8 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) 18 August 2026      03:36  Block log Abuse filter talk contribs blocked ZHHHerman6 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) 17 August 2026      19:51  Count Binface‎‎ 4 changes history +595‎ [Spike‎ (2×); Romartus‎ (2×)]       19:51 (cur | prev) +13‎ Spike talk contribs "Future plans" should remain last       19:49 (cur | prev) -58‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Binface Comes Second: Make subsection and massage; {Old news}       14:23 (cur | prev) +46‎ Romartus talk contribs →‎top Tag: 2017 source edit       14:09 (cur | prev) +594‎ Romartus talk contribs →‎Battle with Nigel Farage Tag: 2017 source edit      13:15  (User creation log)‎ [ZHHHerman6‎; Lilla22S79307‎; HEDWilhemina‎]       13:15 User account ZHHHerman6 talk contribs was created ‎       10:01 User account HEDWilhemina talk contribs was created ‎       09:03 User account Lilla22S79307 talk contribs was created ‎ 16 August 2026      12:09  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       12:09 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked DulcieVangundy3 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      12:09  (User creation log)‎ [LorenzaRocha666‎; JorgeBirch18233‎; DulcieVangundy3‎]       12:09 User account DulcieVangundy3 talk contribs was created ‎       10:11 User account LorenzaRocha666 talk contribs was created ‎       00:35 User account JorgeBirch18233 talk contribs was created ‎ 15 August 2026      19:34  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       19:34 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked KelvinPlant4 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       01:47 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked NigelMcCray talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) N    19:36  UnNews:Farage creates, wins crisis‎‎ 2 changes history +2,168‎ [Spike‎ (2×)]  m    19:36 (cur | prev) +23‎ Spike talk contribs Resize pic; tweak N     15:45 (cur | prev) +2,145‎ Spike talk contribs New UnNews      18:30  (User creation log)‎ [TinaBeardsley‎; ShanaMattison‎; SOVAlecia7637303‎; ReggieHakala09‎; MollyHume2‎; KerryEastwood43‎; JerryU403673665‎; JacksonGreaves9‎; ElishaFqn551‎; BrittanyHolterma‎; BeatrizHuonDeKer‎]       18:30 User account TinaBeardsley talk contribs was created ‎       17:57 User account ReggieHakala09 talk contribs was created ‎       16:38 User account BrittanyHolterma talk contribs was created ‎       16:34 User account SOVAlecia7637303 talk contribs was created ‎       13:58 User account BeatrizHuonDeKer talk contribs was created ‎       12:48 User account ElishaFqn551 talk contribs was created ‎       10:11 User account JacksonGreaves9 talk contribs was created ‎       09:19 User account ShanaMattison talk contribs was created ‎       06:34 User account MollyHume2 talk contribs was created ‎       06:29 User account KerryEastwood43 talk contribs was created ‎       06:15 User account JerryU403673665 talk contribs was created ‎      15:59  Template:RecentUnNews‎ diffhist +105‎ Spike talk contribs      15:57  User:Spike/UnNews‎ diffhist +65‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Contributions: +UnNews:Farage creates, wins crisis‎      15:43  Upload log Spike talk contribs uploaded File:Cheers Nigel.png ‎(Nigel Farage with a half-finished glass of beer. Credit: Getty Images. Used at Breitbart News.) (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask! ... that The Manchurian Candidate is about a blustering hotelier that is brainwashed by a foreign government to do its bidding when he becomes president? Oh, wait... ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask! ... that The Manchurian Candidate is about a blustering hotelier that is brainwashed by a foreign government to do its bidding when he becomes president? Oh, wait... ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask!	In the news Farage creates, wins crisis‎ (pictured) Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA On this day... FOR THE KING August 19: Battle of Knockdoe Day 1501 - The de Burghs and Fitzgeralds agree to have a glorious battle in Knockdoe next year. 1502 - Ulick Burke too hung over to remember what day it is; Gerald Fitzgerald is "super pissed" that he didn't show up. 1503 - Gerald Fitzgerald is too hung over to attend the battle; Ulick Burke calls him a damn hypocrite. 1504 - The Battle of Knockdoe: a bunch of Normans and Irish chop each other to pieces, probably forever altering English history or something. 1524 - Studies show that fewer than 1% of schoolchildren have ever heard of the Battle of Knockdoe. 1692 - Salem witch trials: five witches are put to death, reducing the witch population of Salem by approximately 40%. 1919 - Afghanistan gains independence from the United Kingdom, bringing an end to the Second Battle of Knockdoe. 1944 - World War II: Paris is liberated from German occupation in what is considered a stunning re-enactment of the Battle of Knockdoe. 1952 - Jonathan Frakes, an actor who portrayed William Riker, is born in order to commemorate the 448th anniversary of the Battle of Knockdoe. 1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Mikhail Gorbachev placed under house arrest while watching a docudrama about the Battle of Knockdoe. 1994 - Linus Pauling dies of massive vitamin C overdose in an event completely unrelated to the Battle of Knockdoe. 2004 - Quinticentennial celebration of the Battle of Knockdoe: it is said to be "pretty fucking awesome" despite no one showing up. 2005 - A lonely tourist kisses the Blarney Stone, ends up in extended makeout session. 2010 - The parish of Lackagh, former site of the Battle of Knockdoe, is found to be infested with stinking drunken Irishmen.
Today's featured picture [vote] Jesus on raptor.JPG Jesus on raptor.JPG - 29.5 total votes ( 29.5 / 0 ) Some modifications have been made to the newest translation of the Holy Bible. In this scene (often called "Palm Sunday"), Jesus is now riding a raptor. While this was partially made to help make Jesus more accessible to Today's children, the decision was also made because certain Christians didn't want people to be able to say that Jesus was "riding someone's ass" that day. Both scientists and fundamental Christians question the historical accuracy of this account. From the New Cooler Edition: "And Christ touched the Velociraptor, and the Velociraptor was tamed." Luke 13:37 (NCE) Image credit: Tshell
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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