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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 22 July 2026      04:27  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       04:27 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked DaniellaWilshire talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       01:58 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked CarloPelsaert talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that I only slept with your wife as a prank? ... Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that I only slept with your wife as a prank? ... Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?	In the news Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges On this day... July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS! 0 - Scientists decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor falls off the world and is never seen again. 1066 - King Harold inaugurates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!" 1855 - A brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control. 1898 - Dr. Victor von Frankenstein III attempts to cure hysteria by performing hysterectomies on all his patients. His patients, all males, are not amused and become more hysterical than ever. 1929 - Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration. 1966 - Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming. 1986 - Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid. 1990 - Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself. 2026 - TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!!!
Today's featured picture THIS EMAGE néde dél eatäèn.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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