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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next.jpg

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18 April 2026

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17 April 2026

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09:13 (cur | prev) +612 0985noitcaeRenO talk contribs Created page with "Uncyclopediholism is when some dumbass gets too addicted to Comedy Heaven. They start reading it too much and more than too much... and more than than that. A..."
     22:00  NES diffhist +3 86.2.135.227 talk Fixed a sentence Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit
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(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*... if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns?
  • ... if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns?
  • ... if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

In the news


On this day...

We honor the US and UK boots on our backs

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day

  • 4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare.
  • 1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day.
  • 1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest.
  • 1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues.
  • 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
  • 1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition.
  • 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
  • 1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public.
  • 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
  • 1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time.
  • 1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture.
  • 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
  • 2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.

Today's featured picture


[vote]

SkinFlute.png

SkinFlute.png - 12 things that are more than they seem ( 13 / 1 )
SkinFlute.png

The Skin Flute, an instrument that many bohemians and crack-whores enjoy playing in their spare time, has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. Oftentimes, a skin flautist uses the instrument of another to play their masterpieces, for which they are either paid a substantial sum, given a follow-up performance, or neither. The practice of giving a skin flute to more than one person to play has led to the spread of many STDs - that is, skinflute transmitted diseases - and has thus also increased its cultural taboo.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

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Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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see also kittens killing killing penquins