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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next.jpg

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11 March 2026

     09:00  (Huff log) [Spike‎ (3×)]
     
09:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Yew(Mass deletion of pages added by طَخْشُ أكبر)
     
08:18 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:Yew.jpeg(Mass deletion of pages added by طَخْشُ أكبر)
     
08:18 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:I'll shoot myself if I'll get banned.jpeg(Mass deletion of pages added by طَخْشُ أكبر)
     08:59  (User creation log) [Gammakid999‎; SummerV648531‎; LyleAiello‎; KianQ43357‎; AlphonsoMondrago‎; طَخْشُ أكبر‎]
     
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08:09 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked SummerV648531 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)
     
05:16 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked LyleAiello talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)
     
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N    08:15  User talk:Gammakid999 diffhist +67 Spike talk contribs {Welcome}
     04:35  (Upload log) [طَخْشُ أكبر‎ (2×)]
     
04:35 طَخْشُ أكبر talk contribs uploaded File:I'll shoot myself if I'll get banned.jpeg(I'm a yew addict)
     
04:30 طَخْشُ أكبر talk contribs uploaded File:Yew.jpeg(Yew is the king of all kings)
     01:02  Forum:Last person to edit wins diffhist +102 Turb0-Sunrise talk contribs oh hey it's me

10 March 2026

     23:10  (Block log) [Spike‎; Abuse filter‎ (5×)]
     
23:10 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked ShannaIvy364024 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)
     
22:47 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked AngelicaTanner1 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)
     
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16:39 Spike talk contribs blocked Rabbitude talk contribs with an expiration time of 1 day (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Do not soil the INTRO of a FEATURED ARTICLE with your political views)
     
08:45 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked EulaliaKavanaugh talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)
     
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     16:48  User talk:Rabbitude diffhist +1,133 Spike talk contribs →‎Donald Trump: new section

9 March 2026

     23:44  (User creation log) [EllieCantara4‎; (username removed)‎ (13×)]
     
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     22:04 Huff log Spike talk contribs changed visibility of 25 log events on Special:Log/newusers: content hidden, edit summary hidden and username hidden ‎(Vandal)
     22:02  (Block log) [Spike‎ (2×)]
     
22:02 Spike talk contribs blocked Connorisk talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)
     
22:00 Spike talk contribs blocked Swangupyourpussy talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)

(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?
  • ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?
  • ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?

In the news


On this day...

one more time!

March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico, pictured)

  • 125 - Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, goes on vacation and returns to find the Romans have invented The Three Stooges.
  • 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over.
  • 826 - European monks convert the facepalm into self-flagellation as they need to see where they are walking.
  • 1876 - The Industrial Revolution takes its first major stride forward with the introduction of the steam-powered accordian.
  • 1892 - Oscar Wilde pens his play Lady Windermere's Fan after being influenced by the patrons of various European rough pubs.
  • 1901 - Whole porcupines are replaced by candy and eggs in Easter baskets. The end of the tradition breaks the hearts of doctors and the pliers manufacturing industry.
  • 1962 - Vatican II decrees that self-flagellation is to be replaced by the headdesk.
  • 2003 - The United States invades Iraq just hours after President Bush has his "Mission Accomplished" speech written for him.
  • 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands.
  • 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophesy, space-time collapses in upon itself. However, the only effect noticed on Earth is that all of Cleveland's McDonald's end up in Antarctica.
  • 2018 - The White House Easter egg roll on the South Lawn is the focus of news feeds as land mine manufacturers put on a "yuge" show for attendees, or at least for the surviving parents.
  • 2021 - Dick Cheney dies, putting Satan out of a job.

Today's featured picture

Floatingpancake.jpg

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Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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see also kittens killing killing penquins