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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 22 March 2026      08:13  (User creation log)‎ [ShaunaGreaves‎; Patrick63W‎; Guapo008‎]       08:13 User account Patrick63W talk contribs was created ‎       06:05 User account Guapo008 talk contribs was created ‎ Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       04:09 User account ShaunaGreaves talk contribs was created ‎      06:15  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       06:15 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked RheaButt7114428 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       00:53 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked RachelleMcnamee talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       00:00 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked TerranceMordaunt talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) 21 March 2026      22:21  User:StarroJanitor/sandbox‎‎ 8 changes history +3,098‎ [StarroJanitor‎ (2×); Spike‎ (6×)]  m    22:21 (cur | prev) +23‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Legacy: Delete weasel words       21:55 (cur | prev) +834‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Post-war: New section       21:22 (cur | prev) +682‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Early military career: Buck-naked       21:12 (cur | prev) +1,231‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Early military career: Assist  m    20:32 (cur | prev) +45‎ Spike talk contribs →‎top: Small caps like Wikipedia  m    20:31 (cur | prev) 0‎ Spike talk contribs Infobox fields must be exact; read Template:Infobox person       19:44 (cur | prev) +25‎ StarroJanitor talk contribs       19:42 (cur | prev) +258‎ StarroJanitor talk contribs      20:33  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (11×)]       20:33 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked JacquelineBaylor talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)  m   19:19  American Dad!‎ diffhist +14‎ StarroJanitor talk contribs Slight update to better reflect modern show.      16:31  (User creation log)‎ [ZackCawthorne17‎; WalkerBreillat6‎; TreyBryan001345‎; TerranceMordaunt‎; SalYny067218‎; RachelleMcnamee‎; LuisWeaver8408‎; LucretiaEdments‎; Jeffery06T‎; JanMacNeil5‎; JacquelineBaylor‎; AishaMerritt85‎]       16:31 User account JanMacNeil5 talk contribs was created ‎       15:56 User account RachelleMcnamee talk contribs was created ‎       13:33 User account ZackCawthorne17 talk contribs was created ‎       13:04 User account AishaMerritt85 talk contribs was created ‎       11:39 User account SalYny067218 talk contribs was created ‎       10:16 User account TerranceMordaunt talk contribs was created ‎       09:38 User account WalkerBreillat6 talk contribs was created ‎       08:30 User account JacquelineBaylor talk contribs was created ‎       05:17 User account LucretiaEdments talk contribs was created ‎       04:43 User account TreyBryan001345 talk contribs was created ‎       00:20 User account Jeffery06T talk contribs was created ‎       00:13 User account LuisWeaver8408 talk contribs was created ‎      10:09  Huff log Spike talk contribs deleted page The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour ‎(Pointless redirect) 20 March 2026      23:55  (User creation log)‎ [ZellaDashwood6‎; WilheminaC26‎; WarnerPantoja2‎; CortneyBatiste5‎]       23:55 User account WilheminaC26 talk contribs was created ‎       23:47 User account WarnerPantoja2 talk contribs was created ‎       20:23 User account ZellaDashwood6 talk contribs was created ‎       18:09 User account CortneyBatiste5 talk contribs was created ‎      21:36  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (4×)]       21:36 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked ZellaDashwood6 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       19:59 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked ArnoldoWeber talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       12:01 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Scarlett34V talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       08:13 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked DarcyAtkinson38 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      21:29  Chuck Norris‎‎ 2 changes history +236‎ [Romartus‎ (2×)]       21:29 (cur | prev) +9‎ Romartus talk contribs →‎Death Tag: 2017 source edit       21:26 (cur | prev) +227‎ Romartus talk contribs Updating Tag: 2017 source edit N    13:53  User:Ty500rrre/sandbox‎ diffhist +560‎ Ty500rrre talk contribs oh, wait how do I make an article again (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that explorer Robert Peary, first to reach the North Pole except for seals and whales, also was first to reach the West Pole that no one knew existed? ... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that explorer Robert Peary, first to reach the North Pole except for seals and whales, also was first to reach the West Pole that no one knew existed? ... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 22: Water Day 3400 BC - Citizens of Atlantis become so enamored with water that they decide to sink their island into the sea, which is principally composed of water. Mostly, kind of. 338 BC - Aristotle is stunned to discover what fish do in water and swears off the stuff forever. 1452 - Tired of city-state constantly fighting city-state, the Mayan Empire decides to invade itself to simplify things. It works like a charm. 1745 - Water Day is officially recognized by fish for the first time; when asked why fish officials reply, "For the halibut." 1801 - The myth that domesticated turkeys will drown themselves by looking up when it rains is disproved. It is also found that humans watching turkeys by standing out in the rain have a 65% chance of contracting pneumonia, but only 10% die of drowning trying to look up when its raining. 1894 - Using "frozen water", the first playoff game for the Stanley Cup starts. 1899 - Tired of delivering pitchers of ice water to Helen Keller's hotel room after she keeps calling them saying "wa-ter, wa-ter", hotel staff ignore her. They later find her teacher Anne Sullivan drowned in an overflowing bathtub in the locked bathroom. 1941 - The state of Washington enslaves water to generate electricity using the Grand Coulee Dam. 1997 - Tara Lipinski, age 14 years and 10 months, becomes the youngest champion of the women's world frozen water walking competition. 1999 - Oprah drinks water on her show. Water sales triple among women. 2005 - Water invades New Orleans. Congress declares war on water. 2008 - Four-year-old Amanda Dinkleschmidt celebrates Water Day by giving her goldfish some water. 2014 - Water now only exists in plastic bottles. Fish cope as best they can.
Today's featured picture [vote] Fmj.jpg Fmj.jpg - 10 Snuffed Gooks ( 15 / 5 ) In Full Metal Jacket, a U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects jacket potatoes have on his fellow Marine recruits from peeling them in basic training to the brutal food fights in Vietnam. Image credit: Olipro, Severian
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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