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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 7 March 2026      22:18  Kristi Noem‎‎ 5 changes history +489‎ [Spike‎ (5×)]       22:18 (cur | prev) +219‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Further reading: Husband  m    13:07 (cur | prev) -3‎ Spike talk contribs →‎In popular culture: Change word; none of the three examples are conservative       13:02 (cur | prev) +7‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Further reading: Move {Wikipedia}; change Mount Rushmore item, removing duplication with caption of new photo       12:59 (cur | prev) +321‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Director of Homeland Security: Photo on horseback       09:38 (cur | prev) -55‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Further reading: Figured out what the "Shield of the Americas" is      19:52  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎; Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       19:52 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked AlmaGrasser466 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       19:07 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked AliciaStroud380 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       09:12 Spike talk contribs blocked 一位とフラッカ talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       07:31 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked HaiAlexander478 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      19:52  (User creation log)‎ [HaiAlexander478‎; AlmaGrasser466‎; AliciaStroud380‎; 一位とフラッカ‎]       19:52 User account AlmaGrasser466 talk contribs was created ‎       19:07 User account AliciaStroud380 talk contribs was created ‎       06:25 User account HaiAlexander478 talk contribs was created ‎       06:18 User account 一位とフラッカ talk contribs was created ‎      12:53  (Upload log)‎ [Spike‎; 一位とフラッカ‎ (8×)]       12:53 Spike talk contribs uploaded File:Kristi Noem and Mount Rushmore.jpg ‎(Kristi Noem, the shot in front of Mount Rushmore in the notoriously self-promoting TV advertising campaign. Used by DailyKos.com; thumbnail served by DuckDuckGo. Category:Republicans Category:South Dakota)       06:33 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:HEILHITLER4.jpeg ‎(Wolność spod znaku swastyki, co innego mówią ludzie, co innego ludziom statystyki)       06:32 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:HEILHITLER3.jpeg ‎(Leki najpierw lecą do Afryki, żywe testery lepsze są od laboratoriów Ameryki)       06:31 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:HEILHITLER2.jpeg ‎(This my plug, that my cholo)       06:30 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:HEILHITLER1.jpeg ‎(If you snitchin' I go loco, hit you with that treinta ocho)       06:29 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:JEW.jpeg ‎(GAS THE JEWS!)       06:27 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:BOMB2.jpeg ‎(Sprite after banning me)       06:26 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:BOMB1.jpeg ‎(Sprite's leg after banning me)       06:25 一位とフラッカ talk contribs uploaded File:SEMEN.jpeg ‎(I'll shoot myself if I'll get banned by Sprite)      09:13  (Huff log)‎ [Spike‎ (8×)]       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:SEMEN.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:BOMB1.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:BOMB2.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:JEW.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:HEILHITLER1.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:HEILHITLER2.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:HEILHITLER3.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ)       09:13 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:HEILHITLER4.jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 一位とフラッカ) 6 March 2026      04:33  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       04:33 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked LidiaMuscio talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       02:01 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked MaritaLanier73 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       00:13 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked 193.58.104.171 talk with an expiration time of 2 weeks (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      03:19  (User creation log)‎ [MaritaLanier73‎; LidiaMuscio‎]       03:19 User account LidiaMuscio talk contribs was created ‎       00:38 User account MaritaLanier73 talk contribs was created ‎ 5 March 2026      22:37  Kristi Noem‎‎ 2 changes history +1,438‎ [Spike‎ (2×)]       22:37 (cur | prev) +193‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Further reading: Noem's favorite binky; delete reference to Wikipedia, they'll shortly get it right       20:15 (cur | prev) +1,245‎ Spike talk contribs Bring up-to-date      20:14  Move log Spike talk contribs moved page User:SWFanon Spy/The First Amendment of the United States Constitution to First Amendment ‎(Vital page, and this is better than nothing)      15:34  (User creation log)‎ [YvetteArdill280‎; Xe‎; Austrianboi‎]       15:34 User account Xe talk contribs was created ‎       04:03 User account YvetteArdill280 talk contribs was created ‎       00:21 User account Austrianboi talk contribs was created ‎      13:42  (Huff log)‎ [Spike‎ (3×)]       13:42 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:Char 2C Surblindé.png ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by Austrianboi--Try Snapchat)       13:42 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:BMW Motorsport 6.1L V12 engine (S70-2).jpeg ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by Austrianboi--Try Snapchat)       13:42 Spike talk contribs deleted page File:AccurateNapoleonBonaparte.png ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by Austrianboi--Try Snapchat)      04:03  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (3×)]       04:03 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked YvetteArdill280 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       01:20 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked MolliePrintz talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       01:07 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked GregorioBoudreau talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      00:55  (Upload log)‎ [Austrianboi‎ (3×)]       00:55 Austrianboi talk contribs uploaded File:AccurateNapoleonBonaparte.png ‎       00:43 Austrianboi talk contribs uploaded File:BMW Motorsport 6.1L V12 engine (S70-2).jpeg ‎       00:40 Austrianboi talk contribs uploaded File:Char 2C Surblindé.png ‎ (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that there are at least three other businesses like show business? ... the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business? ... the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 8: Trans-European Trim Those Nose Hairs Day, Search and Destroy Oscar Wilde Shippers Day 808 - Argle bargle infinitesimal flea splitters rumple cargilous mentalfloss. 1213 - While moustaches are important, trimmed nose hairs are equally so. Therefore knights and noblemen would put sharp angled points on their swords to do the job. 1616 - Method acting is developed by Shakespeare's troupe. In a scene requiring a deeply pained performance, an actor would quickly pluck out a nose hair, ensuring so much pain as to give a convincing show of emotion, tears and all. 1711 - Powdered wigs become very popular among the wealthy, but they would often forget to dye their nose hairs to match. 1894 - Fans are outraged by lurid fanfiction written about Oscar Wilde. They later find the writing to be entries from Wilde's diary. They then let their hair grow long, and buy mohair suits and pimp sticks to become like their god. 1896 - Men would begin parting their nose hairs down the middle during this time. They would eventually part nose hairs on one side or the other by 1940, always carrying a nose hair comb in a pocket. Women favored nose hair perms to match whatever style was popular at the time. 1923 - The henna rinse becomes popular with women for coloring mismatched nose hairs. This process would be later known as waterboarding. 1968 - Hippies refuse to trim their nose hairs, scandalizing the world. They are shipped off en masse to Viet Nam to be used as human shields, as their smell repels the Viet Cong and snipers are camouflaged by the huge masses of unkempt nose hairs. 1974 - The French build the Exocet missile to destroy the ever-growing Oscar Wilde cult of false quotes in order to promote writers of fake Gustave Flaubert quotes. 1986 - Weasels gain the spotlight, popularized in the movie Ferret Bueller's Day Off. 1992 - Michael Jackson buys a sword from 1213. 2014 - The nose hair man bun becomes briefly popular. As it interferes with breathing, it quickly falls out of favor even though fart odors are filtered out effectively.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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see also kittens killing killing penquins