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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 13 July 2025      08:55  (User creation log)‎ [BernardTaber‎; 3BedBunkBed8329‎]       08:55 User account 3BedBunkBed8329 talk contribs was created ‎       08:37 User account BernardTaber talk contribs was created ‎      08:37  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       08:37 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked BernardTaber talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       05:37 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Comfiest-sectional-couches0893 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) N    07:46  Tetrachloroethylene‎‎ 6 changes history +6,165‎ [Romartus‎ (3×); Methanol‎ (3×)]       07:46 (cur | prev) +40‎ Romartus talk contribs →‎top Tag: 2017 source edit       07:36 (cur | prev) +31‎ Romartus talk contribs →‎Hazards Tag: 2017 source edit  m    07:33 (cur | prev) +51‎ Romartus talk contribs added Category:Stuff that lonely men masturbate over using HotCat       03:38 (cur | prev) +430‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       03:30 (cur | prev) +24‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎Hazards Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit N     03:29 (cur | prev) +5,589‎ Methanol talk contribs Might need edits later      07:38  User:Methanol‎‎ 2 changes history 0‎ [Romartus‎ (2×)]       07:38 (cur | prev) -21‎ Romartus talk contribs Tag: 2017 source edit       07:37 (cur | prev) +21‎ Romartus talk contribs Tag: 2017 source edit N    03:50  User:Methanol/work‎‎ 18 changes history +255‎ [Methanol‎ (18×)]       03:50 (cur | prev) +255‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       03:29 (cur | prev) -5,589‎ Methanol talk contribs ←Blanked the page Tag: Blanking       03:24 (cur | prev) +420‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎Uses Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       03:18 (cur | prev) +228‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:58 (cur | prev) +247‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:53 (cur | prev) +33‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:41 (cur | prev) +249‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:35 (cur | prev) +228‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:30 (cur | prev) +400‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:25 (cur | prev) +707‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:19 (cur | prev) +185‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:15 (cur | prev) +239‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎History Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:10 (cur | prev) +270‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎History Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       02:03 (cur | prev) +114‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       01:59 (cur | prev) +86‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       01:58 (cur | prev) +470‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       01:52 (cur | prev) +1,001‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit N     01:35 (cur | prev) +712‎ Methanol talk contribs WIP Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      03:14  Lava lamp‎ diffhist +57‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎Operation Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      03:10  Organic chemistry‎‎ 2 changes history +294‎ [Methanol‎ (2×)]       03:10 (cur | prev) +117‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit       03:05 (cur | prev) +177‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      02:49  Liquid‎ diffhist +94‎ Methanol talk contribs →‎Drinking Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      02:46  User:Methanol/Sulphuric acid‎ diffhist +92‎ Methanol talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit 12 July 2025      21:55  (User creation log)‎ [Vetrenarisisum1234567890987654321234567890987654321‎; Vetrenarisisum121212‎; Vetrenarisisum‎; Single-Integrated-Oven2680‎; Psychiatry-private-practice3105‎; Mobility-Aid4184‎; Comfiest-sectional-couches0893‎]       21:55 User account Mobility-Aid4184 talk contribs was created ‎       19:25 User account Vetrenarisisum1234567890987654321234567890987654321 talk contribs was created ‎       19:25 User account Vetrenarisisum121212 talk contribs was created ‎       19:24 User account Vetrenarisisum talk contribs was created ‎       17:15 User account Comfiest-sectional-couches0893 talk contribs was created ‎       12:43 User account Psychiatry-private-practice3105 talk contribs was created ‎       09:09 User account Single-Integrated-Oven2680 talk contribs was created ‎      10:50  Northrop B-2 Spirit‎ diffhist +3‎ GE Microwave talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Visual edit Advanced mobile edit      09:21  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       09:21 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Single-Integrated-Oven2680 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       08:26 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Automatic-Floor-Cleaners4430 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) 11 July 2025      22:31  Northrop B-2 Spirit‎‎ 2 changes history +4‎ [GE Microwave‎ (2×)]       22:31 (cur | prev) +94‎ GE Microwave talk contribs →‎Development Tag: Visual edit       21:27 (cur | prev) -90‎ GE Microwave talk contribs →‎Development Tag: Visual edit      19:41  User creation log User account Automatic-Floor-Cleaners4430 talk contribs was created ‎      17:57  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       17:57 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Nescafe-dolce-gusto-machine0471 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       15:27 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Best-Automatic-Hoover5436 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot) (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him? ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?	In the news Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election On this day... July 13: Surreptitiously Masturbate Near a Sleeping Stranger Day 1294 - The armies of Kublai Khan would fail to invade Europe due to the distractions of arcade games and lousy pizza and wine in Chuck E. Cheese restaurants they encounter. The Great Khan himself succumbs to the lure of prize tickets exchangeable for gaudy trinkets and would fall off a pony ride in one of the restaurants in the Samarkand region. This led to his death despite his happiness at winning a pencil topper. 1310 - Marco Polo becomes the scourge of every swimming pool in the known world. c.1880 - The tango is invented to allow Argentians to air out their pits and crotches during a particularly humid summer. 1921 - Sinead O'Connor is arrested for indecent exposure in a coma ward. 1945 - The Manhattan Engineering District achieves its first major success, giving the ability of flight to a medium-sized mouse. 1982 - Adventurous masturbators discover Peter Gabriel's Shock the Monkey and find out that even 9 volts is pretty much the limit. Emergency room staff are highly amused by the experiments and compare the resulting odor to be something like pork barbecue. 1987 - The United States Supreme Court rules that disciplining your monkey near a sleeping stranger (pictured) is unconstitutional. 2003 - Stunningly gorgeous tennis sensation Martina Hingis stuns her fans by announcing her retirement. Her fans cry for days and refuse to eat. 2005 - Uncyclopedia is viciously and unfairly deleted by extremist Wikipedians. Wikipedia then crumbles without a parody site to funnel traffic in its direction. 2009 - The Uncyclopedia Anniversaries break the fourth wall by telling you to get a job, you lazy git! 2010 - The bite marks and the broken arm tell us the job you took at the piranha petting zoo wasn't such a good idea. Unwashed starving hermit might be the better choice for you, then.
Today's featured picture [vote] CthulhuReadyForHoliday.jpg CthulhuReadyForHoliday.jpg - 21 disappointed Lovecraft entities ( 21 / 0 ) "Hey, guys! Where ya goin'? I'm all packed and... aaaww, shit, there goes the bus." Image credit: Some user
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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