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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 31 December 2025      23:04  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (7×)]       23:04 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked QuyenHatten talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       18:47 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked InezKornweibel talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       12:21 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked TereseCvg31 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Tag: 2017 source edit      13:42  Battle for Dream Island‎ diffhist -2‎ Leafy Erville talk contribs →‎Characters Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit      11:19  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (5×)]       11:19 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked XQZTraci75595221 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       08:32 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked VernJolley89 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       07:50 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked LolitaShoemaker talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      20:17  (User creation log)‎ [SabinaCastanon4‎; KyleSheppard8‎; DonnieEldred311‎; DanaeServin1‎]       20:17 User account SabinaCastanon4 talk contribs was created ‎       18:47 User account KyleSheppard8 talk contribs was created ‎       16:59 User account DanaeServin1 talk contribs was created ‎       16:54 User account DonnieEldred311 talk contribs was created ‎      15:42  Uncyclopedia:Requested articles/Social sciences/Politics and government‎ diffhist +90‎ Simsilikesims talk contribs →‎Government agencies: +FDA, DOD Tag: 2017 source edit (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters? ... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters? ... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters?	In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On this day... A picture of the universe later this year. January 1: International "Let's Get Hammered!" Day (not including Saudi Arabia), New Year's Day (Ireland) 5,985,895,625 BCE - Satan invents time. God steals Satan's invention, kicks him in the nuts, and begins creating the blueprint for humanity. In disgust, Satan gets hammered, creating another blueprint for humanity. 1237 BCE - Thor misinterprets the holiday and manages to destroy half the universe. 0 - Worldwide fireworks displays celebrating new year mistaken for creation of light by God. 404 - First time predictions of an apocalypse are found to be untrue, as a global 404 Error does not occur. 1912 - Women learn how to vote, albeit through the strict instruction of men. 1918 - Prohibition starts in the U.S. and the day becomes Let's Pretend We're Not Getting Hammered Even Though We Already Were Buzzed From Last Night Day. 1954 - Second World War begins (Canada only). 1983 - New Year's Day is invented by U2 in song. A quick followup, Groundhog Day, fails to catch the public's fancy and the band is forced to flee to Bulgaria. 1989 - It's Hammer Time, but everyone is already too hammered to notice initially. 2000 - Y2K bug fails to destroy internet; few are disappointed. 3000 - Fry gets defrosted, makes friends with a suicidal robot. After 4 or 5 velvet hammers each, they walk into traffic and are run over by George Jetson. 10000 - IT consultants fail to fix Y10K 2: Electric Boogaloo. People have come to expect this from Microsoft by now.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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