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Today's featured article

Iran-you-are-next.jpg

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16 March 2026

     11:54  IB diffhist +53 139.164.154.169 talk
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 m   00:50  Full house diffhist +1 Spike talk contribs →‎Other Full House: comma

15 March 2026

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20:53 Spike talk contribs uploaded File:Full house.jpg(A random full house in poker. Used by dreamstime.com; thumbnail served up by DuckDuckGo. Category:Card games Category:Poker)
     17:55  Forum:Last person to edit wins diffhist +136 Fish on skates talk contribs →‎So, who won?: yeah I’ve memorized the first section of ASBOWAAT no big deal

14 March 2026

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(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*... that the milk of human kindness is the 1% sort?
  • ... if you feed a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you feed a man to a fish, you go to jail?
  • ... that the milk of human kindness is the 1% sort?
  • ... if you feed a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you feed a man to a fish, you go to jail?
  • ... that the milk of human kindness is the 1% sort?

In the news


On this day...

Toaster pounce.jpg

March 16: International Toaster Day

  • 3 million BCE - Toasters battle waffle irons for supremacy throughout the world. Apple peelers become extinct.
  • 1066 - Soldiers in the Battle of Hastings from both the Norman and English sides are set upon by wild toasters; less than two hundred survive.
  • 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor of bread.
  • 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since bread itself.
  • 1392 - Toast is invented. Everybody proposes a bread to the inventor of toast.
  • 1823 - George Washington Carver sets out on an expedition to the California redwood forests to study toasters.
  • 1843 - The first toaster ranch is established in Peyote, Wyoming, with over three dozen domestic toasters.
  • 1883 - Oscar Wilde's poem The Sphinx, widely believed to be a veiled reference to toasters, is published.
  • 1931 - During construction of the Empire State Building, a fossil of a Tyrannotoasterus is unearthed, sparking interest in the new field of Toasteropaleontology.
  • 1950 - National Geographic discovers that the wild toaster is actually a kitchen appliance.
  • 1975 - A toaster from a traveling circus in Alabama escapes captivity and mauls four people and dozens of raw bread slices before being killed by local appliance control authorities.
  • 2011 - A crazed toaster kills 1,000,000,000 people after it rode in on the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. It will hit China, Canada, and Russia.

Today's featured picture


[vote]

Thermopylae.jpg

Thermopylae.jpg - 27 total votes ( 30 / 3 )
Thermopylae.jpg

Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.

Image credit: Mhaille

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Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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