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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 11 January 2026      21:53  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎ (2×); Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       21:53 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Singha89ex talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      21:53  (User creation log)‎ [Singha89ex‎; EarnestVanOtterl‎; ColumbusKates‎; AurelioWarman‎]       21:53 User account Singha89ex talk contribs was created ‎       14:26 User account AurelioWarman talk contribs was created ‎       02:07 User account EarnestVanOtterl talk contribs was created ‎       01:25 User account ColumbusKates talk contribs was created ‎      21:00  Huff log Spike talk contribs deleted page User talk:AurelioWarman ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 71.183.205.98)      03:25  Template:Doctor Who‎ diffhist +6‎ OnePunch talk contribs      03:20  List of New Doctor Who episodes‎ diffhist +14,170‎ OnePunch talk contribs 12th Doctor episodes 10 January 2026      22:00  (Huff log)‎ [Spike‎ (3×)]       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Willy on wheels ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Willy on WheeIs ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Talk:Willy on wheels ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)      21:25  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎; Abuse filter‎]       21:25 Spike talk contribs blocked 2607:fb90:3714:106d::/64 talk with an expiration time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       09:51 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked CourtneySizemore talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      13:02  (User creation log)‎ [Saclub888z‎; MozelleNeblett7‎; MargaretaYpx‎; GuillermoNnc‎; FinlayHamlett‎]       13:02 User account Saclub888z talk contribs was created ‎       05:42 User account MargaretaYpx talk contribs was created ‎       04:37 User account FinlayHamlett talk contribs was created ‎       04:17 User account MozelleNeblett7 talk contribs was created ‎       03:48 User account GuillermoNnc talk contribs was created ‎  m   09:17  GOODY-2‎‎ 3 changes history +186‎ [LTOzmo‎ (3×)]  m    09:17 (cur | prev) +1‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Corrected annoying regional spelling  m    09:15 (cur | prev) +185‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Added image  m    07:10 (cur | prev) 0‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Moved quote  m   08:46  Hitler Pharmaceuticals‎ diffhist +6‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed capitalization and spelling N    01:45  User talk:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab‎ diffhist +463‎ Spike talk contribs {Oh Dear}      01:43  User talk:LTOzmo‎ diffhist +338‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Year numbers: new section      01:40  Huff log Spike talk contribs deleted page 1751 ‎(Pointless redirect) 8 January 2026  m   23:29  Game:Zork/kzws‎ diffhist 0‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed typo "acutally" -> "actually" N    22:54  User:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab/Globglogabgalab‎ diffhist +162‎ TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs Created page with "The '''Globglogabgalab''' (''Globglogabgalabus Globius''), one of several divine beings who occasionally decides to bless our planet with its presence."      22:35  (User creation log)‎ [TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab‎; NidaSalkauskas‎; ErnestEstevez‎; CitationNeeded‎]       22:35 User account TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs was created ‎       18:33 User account ErnestEstevez talk contribs was created ‎       07:53 User account NidaSalkauskas talk contribs was created ‎       03:40 User account CitationNeeded talk contribs was created ‎  m   11:02  UnNews:Analyst: War on Fish will end in 50 years‎‎ 3 changes history -3‎ [Spike‎; LTOzmo‎ (2×)]  m    11:02 (cur | prev) -18‎ Spike talk contribs House style  m    04:13 (cur | prev) +4‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed typo  m    04:13 (cur | prev) +11‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed typos      09:04  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       09:04 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked MagaretPlatz645 talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known? ... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year? ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters? ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known? ... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year? ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters? ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?	In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On this day... The End Is Near! January 11: Fear of the Apocalypse Day, Guacamole/Whack-a-Mole Confusion Day 3000 BCE - God vows to destroy the Earth, possibly while drunk. 1834 BCE - Shamans kill a porcupine to determine if it is indeed the end of the world. Instead, with their hands full of quills, they determine it is the end of killing porcupines. 50 BCE - World is still not ended yet, with most everyone waiting with bated breath. As some people don't understand exactly what that is, they fail to brush in the morning and wait with bad breath. 34 - The end is near! But which end? And how near? 184 - The end is near! However, it is narrowly averted when the end fails to make a left at Albuquerque and gets lost. 1386 - Maybe the end is next week? 1862 - Mexican forces defeat a superior force of French moles outside Guerrero. By leaving out bowls of guacamole, half the French forces are tricked into go back to their headquarters for chips. Mexican cavalry then attacked with mallets, winning many prize tickets. 1967 - The Doors release the song The End but fail to trigger the Apocalypse. Most people instead up waiting for The End to end. 1979 - The movie Apocalypse Now fails to kick off the end of the world. 2004 - The Whack-a-Mole arcade game is introduced. Plastic moles equipped with high-intensity lasers fight back against a player armed with a mallet. It proves to be unpopular except in pizza joints where the burning smell from the game is covered up by the odor of burnt pizza. 2006 - The TV series Crocodile Whisperer debuts. The show garners high ratings when the animal expert is attacked and eaten after being distracted by Steve Irwin waving hello. 2016 - A woman runs for President. A woman loses the election because she has a husband that most people dislike. 2018 - Two words: Avocado toast. 2020 - The first of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrives. Most people spend most of their time indoors in pandemic related isolation. Nobody can agree on who or what is to blame. As a result, this year is best described as "2020 hindsight". 2027 - The end happens. Critics call it underwhelming with Rotten Tomatoes giving it a 42% rating. 2050 - The Anti-Christ shows up....for the 50th time. The dooms-dayers show up with signs....for the 5 billionth time. Too bad they are all too late for the party.
Today's featured picture THIS EMAGE néde dél eatäèn.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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see also kittens killing killing penquins