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Today's featured article List of abbreviations: N This edit created a new page (also see list of new pages) m This is a minor edit b This edit was performed by a bot (±123) The page size changed by this number of bytes 12 January 2026      23:34  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       23:34 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked ClaudetteFtw talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       14:22 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Ambslotknt talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      23:34  (User creation log)‎ [Rubinya‎; ClaudetteFtw‎; Ambslotknt‎]       23:34 User account ClaudetteFtw talk contribs was created ‎       14:22 User account Ambslotknt talk contribs was created ‎       03:37 User account Rubinya talk contribs was created ‎ Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit      14:48  User talk:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab‎‎ 3 changes history +1,670‎ [Spike‎; TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab‎ (2×)]       14:48 (cur | prev) +1,050‎ Spike talk contribs →‎User:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab/Globglogabgalab: Not gibberish, but...       13:49 (cur | prev) +149‎ TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs →‎User:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab/Globglogabgalab       13:49 (cur | prev) +471‎ TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs N    11:47  User talk:Rubinya‎ diffhist +307‎ Spike talk contribs {Welcome}      07:53  Ice‎ diffhist -1‎ Rubinya talk contribs Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit N    04:48  User:Rubinya‎ diffhist +1,900‎ Rubinya talk contribs Created page with "==Personal== {{Non-Wikipedian}}{{User:Anotherpongo/User Is Toilet}}{{user girl}}{{user girl femme}}{{Adult Body}}{{User OAP}}{{user homoflexable}}{{user girlfriend wish}}{{use..." Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit Advanced mobile edit 11 January 2026      21:53  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎ (2×); Abuse filter‎ (2×)]       21:53 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Singha89ex talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       20:38 Spike talk contribs blocked 71.183.205.98 talk with an expiration time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       20:36 Spike talk contribs blocked 47.230.106.33 talk with an expiration time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Very junky edits)       14:27 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked AurelioWarman talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      21:53  (User creation log)‎ [Singha89ex‎; EarnestVanOtterl‎; ColumbusKates‎; AurelioWarman‎]       21:53 User account Singha89ex talk contribs was created ‎       14:26 User account AurelioWarman talk contribs was created ‎       02:07 User account EarnestVanOtterl talk contribs was created ‎       01:25 User account ColumbusKates talk contribs was created ‎      21:00  Huff log Spike talk contribs deleted page User talk:AurelioWarman ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 71.183.205.98)      03:25  Template:Doctor Who‎ diffhist +6‎ OnePunch talk contribs      03:20  List of New Doctor Who episodes‎ diffhist +14,170‎ OnePunch talk contribs 12th Doctor episodes 10 January 2026      22:00  (Huff log)‎ [Spike‎ (3×)]       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Willy on wheels ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Willy on WheeIs ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)       22:00 Spike talk contribs deleted page Talk:Willy on wheels ‎(Mass deletion of pages added by 2607:FB90:3714:106D:56BE:37E2:9C24:7110)      21:25  (Block log)‎ [Spike‎; Abuse filter‎]       21:25 Spike talk contribs blocked 2607:fb90:3714:106d::/64 talk with an expiration time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) ‎(Vandal)       09:51 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked CourtneySizemore talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      11:33  (User creation log)‎ [CourtneySizemore‎; Bruce6768410‎]       11:33 User account Bruce6768410 talk contribs was created ‎       09:50 User account CourtneySizemore talk contribs was created ‎ 9 January 2026      17:42  (Block log)‎ [Abuse filter‎ (6×)]       17:42 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked MargaretaYpx talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       13:02 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked Saclub888z talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)       04:38 Abuse filter talk contribs blocked FinlayHamlett talk contribs with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) ‎(Automatically blocked by abuse filter. 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Description of matched rule: Apparent spambot)      13:02  (User creation log)‎ [Saclub888z‎; MozelleNeblett7‎; MargaretaYpx‎; GuillermoNnc‎; FinlayHamlett‎]       13:02 User account Saclub888z talk contribs was created ‎       05:42 User account MargaretaYpx talk contribs was created ‎       04:37 User account FinlayHamlett talk contribs was created ‎       04:17 User account MozelleNeblett7 talk contribs was created ‎       03:48 User account GuillermoNnc talk contribs was created ‎  m   09:17  GOODY-2‎‎ 3 changes history +186‎ [LTOzmo‎ (3×)]  m    09:17 (cur | prev) +1‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Corrected annoying regional spelling  m    09:15 (cur | prev) +185‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Added image  m    07:10 (cur | prev) 0‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Moved quote  m   08:46  Hitler Pharmaceuticals‎ diffhist +6‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed capitalization and spelling N    01:45  User talk:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab‎ diffhist +463‎ Spike talk contribs {Oh Dear}      01:43  User talk:LTOzmo‎ diffhist +338‎ Spike talk contribs →‎Year numbers: new section      01:40  Huff log Spike talk contribs deleted page 1751 ‎(Pointless redirect) 8 January 2026  m   23:29  Game:Zork/kzws‎ diffhist 0‎ LTOzmo talk contribs Fixed typo "acutally" -> "actually" N    22:54  User:TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab/Globglogabgalab‎ diffhist +162‎ TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs Created page with "The '''Globglogabgalab''' (''Globglogabgalabus Globius''), one of several divine beings who occasionally decides to bless our planet with its presence."      22:35  User creation log User account TheLegendaryGlobglogabgalab talk contribs was created ‎ (continued...) Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age Did you know... *... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK PEPSI COLA ... children were golden in 1999 when bad kids were threatened with Jar Jar Binks figures for Christmas if they did not behave? ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK PEPSI COLA ... children were golden in 1999 when bad kids were threatened with Jar Jar Binks figures for Christmas if they did not behave? ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK PEPSI COLA	In the news Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On this day... WARNING! May cause choking in children over 40. January 13: New Year's Eve for Julius Caesar Fans Who Insist on Using His Calender Instead of Ours 1437 - German bakers afflicted with St. Vitus Dance create pretzels by flinging dough around. Unfortunately, brewers are unable to take advantage as waiters are similarly afflicted and spill all the beer. Thousands die from choking on dry pretzels. 1582 - The Orthodox Church refuses to adopt the Gregorian calendar, making Christmas in July a real possibility. Hardware chain stores leave the Orthodox Church in droves, as they already had new calendars printed. 1610 - Galileo Galilei discovers the fourth satellite of Jupiter and names it "Shit", unaware that "Uranus" would have been a better choice for stupid jokes by the devoted followers of Captain Obvious. 1774 - Ireland is violently liberated from Apaches. After thinking about it, panicked Brits ask the Apaches to return, but it is too late as the last removal van had already left for America. 1830 - A devastating fire burns large parts of New Orleans to the ground. Hurricane Katrina helps extinguish the last remaining flames 175 years later. FEMA would then spread metallic sodium to absorb floodwaters and start fires all over again. 1874 - Thomas Edison patents the pneumatic kitten extruder, which gains widespread success in new Chinese markets. 1932 - A street vendor sees Dali's The Persistence of Memory and tries to sell melted pocket watches on the street. That idea fails completely. However, he find the watches perfect for baking large pretzels and invents the soft pretzel. The rest is mystery. 1942 - Henry Ford gets a patent for his new automobile, which runs efficiently on Jew blood and diesel. 2002 - President George W. Bush faints after choking on a pretzel, which will be remembered as the defining moment of his presidency. In a completely unrelated move, President Bush signs a bill forcing all pretzel companies to post the notice "DANGER: PRETZELS MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH" on their packages in large red letters. However, the president fails to read the new packages and chokes again. Barbara Bush would then arrange to have all his food pre-chewed and put into a funnel to feed the president.
Today's featured picture THIS EMAGE néde dél eatäèn.
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Writer and Noob of the Month me GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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see also kittens killing killing penquins