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10 August 2026

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9 August 2026

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8 August 2026

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7 August 2026

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6 August 2026

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(continued...)

Recently featured: Gay Pride - Super Smash Bros: Xtreme Beach Volleyball - Ernest Hemingway's Cookery Corner - See Dick - Neolithic Age

Did you know...

*... that if you see Buddha on the road, you should kill him, but first get his autograph on a baseball or something?
  • ... that if you see Buddha on the road, you should kill him, but first get his autograph on a baseball or something?

In the news


On this day...

Bitchy1.jpg

August 11: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace Day

  • 1492 - Alexander VI is elected Pope. He becomes known for making lewd and improper suggestions to the cardinals.
  • 1700 - William of Orange initiates the 'Glorious 12th'. On this day the tradition of shooting peasants on this day is changed to killing game birds.
  • 1858 - The first ascent of the Eiger. After this ascent, an Eiger counter keeps track.
  • 1966 - John Lennon holds a press conference apologizing for stating that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus." He clarifies, "I meant to say we were more popular than Mohammed."
  • 1967 - M.C. Escher draws a map for visiting tourists looking for museums. He is reported pleased when he learns they are spotted by the Surveyor 3 spacecraft after it lands on the Moon.
  • 1969 - The first men land on the moon. While collecting moon rocks, Neil Armstrong "accidentally" rubs up against Buzz Aldrin.
  • 1972 - The last United States ground combat unit departs South Vietnam. Says an Army spokesman, "Thank goodness we've learned our lesson! No more pointless guerilla wars without an exit strategy for us!"
  • 1993 - President Bill Clinton takes an interest in the new White House secretary.
  • 2004 - Bill O'Reilly makes several drunken phone calls. He later wakes up to discover that he is the now the Democratic Representative for New Hampshire, and president of the international Gay and Lesbian Alliance.
  • 2006 - Harry Whittington declines to play naked Twister with Dick Cheney. Instead, the two embark on a quail hunt where Dick shoots Harry, claiming it was an accident.

Today's featured picture

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THIS EMAGE néde dél eatäèn.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

me
Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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see also kittens killing killing penquins