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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Featured today, a long long time ago John Mahama, featured on 30 April 2025. See the featured version. Did you know... *... the Channel Islands exist in a time-space warp that allow them to appear in the English Channel and off the coast of California at the same time? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... the Channel Islands exist in a time-space warp that allow them to appear in the English Channel and off the coast of California at the same time? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... the Channel Islands exist in a time-space warp that allow them to appear in the English Channel and off the coast of California at the same time? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... the Channel Islands exist in a time-space warp that allow them to appear in the English Channel and off the coast of California at the same time?

Latest murders Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos Past murders... April 30: Obscure Pop Cultural Reference Day 1026 - The first casualty in the on-going Pirate-Ninja War of the Ages occurs. 1794 - The Battle of Cat Boulou is fought. The French actually win one. 1889 - Hitler rises. So do many cakes and loaves of bread. 1945 - Hitler falls. And he can't get up. 1959 - Grandpa drops a Mento into his glass of Coke. A huge catastrophe occurs. 1962 - Four legs found to be good, with two legs considered less favourably. 1969 - Vietnam vets declare 'You weren't there man!' for the first time. 1989 - Some proles invent 'New Wave of Ingsoc Heavy Metal', Minitrue approved, with BB. Doubleplusgood. 1997 - I for one welcome our insect overlords. 2001 - HAL declares 'I'm sorry, Dave, but I cannot touch this'. 2005 - Frank Joseph Snape gets away with the murder of ex-girlfriend Debbie Dumbledore, despite the fact that everybody already knew about it. 2010 - 1001 Things to Do With a Flaming Appendage ousts the Bible as the most famous and successful book of all time. 2019 - Road Rules Mars begins broadcasting. MTV immediately cancels the series after all participants including the filming crew are killed by an asteroid. 2056 - Harry Potter dies after a long battle with imaginary herpes. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] ChronChron.jpg ChronChron.jpg - 13.5 total votes ( 17 / 3.5 ) The creation of Uncyclopedia (or alternatively you could imagine your own funny caption here). Image credit: Sannse

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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