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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Did you know... *... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking? ... that your Windows computer is still updating? ... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination? ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking?

Latest murders Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Past murders... May 14: Sky's the Limit Day, Fat Guys in Spandex Festival San Francisco, California USA. 468 BCE - Sky colour declared blue by Greek philosophers. 49 BCE - Sky declared grey by the Roman Republic in order to provoke the Greeks into a fight. 1953 - Sky Masterson, a character from the musical Guys and Dolls, is played by Marlon Brando. 1973 - Skylab, the United States' first space station, is launched. It will take a dozen Druids to keep it in orbit. 1979 - Skylight, the glass thing in my goddamned roof, is greatly expanded by Skylab's wonderful return to Earth. Dammit. 1981 - Demise of the International Dark-Sky Association. 2005 - Skynet is founded by Marlon Brando, utilizing power module and microchips from a crashed Skylab, and broken glass from some guy's skylight. 2006 - Marlon Brando dies in a skydiving accident. 2007 - Bill Gates hits puberty. 2009 - Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, declares free money for all. 2010 - Puberty sues Bill Gates for 'unbelievable infliction of emotional distress and disgusting zits'; asks $500 billion. 2012 - Marlon Brando's remains explode, with debris landing as far away as Johannesburg, South Africa. 2014 - The Moon sues Bill Gates because doing nothing but orbiting the earth constantly for billions of years is well and truly boring. It seeks all money on Earth or a PC to play on while orbiting. 2525 - I lost my keys again :( 2990 - Lost keys are located in Howard Beach at the social club of an Italian "Gentleman of Honor" who prefers to remain anonymous. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] Aoushot1.jpg Aoushot1.jpg - 22 total votes ( 30 / 8 ) A screenshot from Age of Umpires II: Age of Cricket. In this example, we see the classic "Shotgun-Seven" formation being used to maximum effect. Any good Umpire would note that this places a good deal of emphasis on the left side, making it easy enough to sneak in the stray foul wicket. Image credit: Hindleyite

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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