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Did you know...
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*... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... a stitch in time doesn't save nine, but saves nuns from being sucked into time portals or wormholes?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... a stitch in time doesn't save nine, but saves nuns from being sucked into time portals or wormholes?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... a stitch in time doesn't save nine, but saves nuns from being sucked into time portals or wormholes?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
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Latest murders
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Past murders...
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March 3: International Beat Random People With a Metal Pipe Day
- 4328 BCE - Goa Tse is born. (pictured)
- 992 - The Guild of Lead Pipefitters is established in direct competition with masons and Freemasonry for secret control of the West. For some mysterious reason, the guild's membership would drop to near zero levels within five years.
- 1944 - It is Mr. Green, in the lounge, with the lead pipe.
- 1929 - René Magritte finishes La Trahison des images with the inscription "Ceci n'est pas un pipe". A confused art critic would later attack him with a left-footed aardvark holding an apple.
- 1970 - Tonya Harding is born.
- 1973 - "Down goes Frazier!!" is heard after the champ is reportedly seen being hit in the knee by a 3-year-old girl.
- 1987 - Well, now that I've finally done it, I might as well post it on the internet.
- 1999 - Hey, this link doesn't look too bad. Let's see where it... OH MY GOD!
- 2000 - One year free of that horrid image. Hey, my friend told me to go to a site. This couldn't possibly be bad... JESUS CHRIST! COME ON!
- 2001 - Another link, I'm not falling for that one. But www.kittens.com, how could it be... WHY GOD WHY?!
- 2002 - No more links, I swear – but hey, a movie file... GOOD LORD! THEY ANIMATED IT!
- 2003 - It has been one year since I've gone blind, so I can now safely click on links to view webpages... "Listen to this article"?... OH COME ON! THAT IS DISTURBING.
- 2004 - Now that I've gone deaf, all is well. Oh what is this, an image-to-braille converter? Hmm, I'll take a random image off my hard drive, convert... now let's see what it feels like... Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghh!
- 2008 - I finally got back some of my hearing after an extensive earwax cleaning. The best video ever...I've just got to see that...WTF?
- 2016 - Numerous pictures of metal pipes are texted and shown on social media along with a lot of very angry emojis.
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| Pie of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.
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Today's featured pie
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[vote]
| Thermopylae.jpg - 27 total votes ( 30 / 3 )
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Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.
Image credit: Mhaille
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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