Babel:Pd

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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.
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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Did you know...

*... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates?
    • ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates?
    • ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
  • ... that nihilists believe that life is like a box of chocolates?
    • ... and that it is a Whitman Sampler that has been sitting on the shelf for too long?
  • ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?

Latest murders

Past murders...

a Michael Bay wet dream

March 10: Chuck Norris's & Osama Bin Laden's Birthdays

  • 822 - Peasants happily live with short, harsh and miserable lives in order to be able to do without really bad Chuck Norris and Oscar Wilde jokes.
  • 1871 - Oscar Wilde famously declares: "Working is the scourge of the drinking classes."
  • 1900 - Ferdinand von Zeppelin perfects his lighter-than-air dirigible. The heavier-than-lead dirigible continues to confound him.
  • 1922 - Membership in the Royal Society in Greater Hamptonsonfordshireborough Upon Newcastle reaches its peak. However, they fire the staff of their palatial headquarters and tragically perish of starvation when no member is found who knows how to operate a doorknob.
  • 1940 - Chuck Norris is born. Meanwhile the US has yet to enter WWII so he has no one to roundhouse kick.
  • 1957 - Osama Bin Laden is born on Chuck Norris's 17th birthday. bin Laden immediately attempts to get his millionaire father to drop a gold Acme anvil on Norris for funsies.
  • 1962 - Dr. Jack Kevorkian runs into his first episode of legal issues after endorsing Gold Bond's Medicated Powder featuring TapewormsTM.
  • 1973 - Astronomers discover rings on Uranus. Exactly why they bothered to look becomes the real question. bin Laden is horrified when the joke is explained to him.
  • 1974 - Pairs of criminals learn how to carefully space themselves apart so Chuck Norris can jump and kick them simultaneously.
  • 1979 - Osama bin Laden receives $40 billion from the US and Saudi Arabia to fight the Russians in Afghanistan. This leaves his own millions untouched so that he could buy all the porn and drugs he wants.
  • 1984 - A Washed-Up 70's Rock Band releases Ill-Advised Album in what many feel is the beginning of a decline in music quality. Music critic Captain Obvious agrees, citing the inability to dance the minuet or pavane to their music. Osama bin Laden burns his father's Bing Crosby records in agreement.
  • 2008 - The economy, like, totally starts taking a nosedive. Captain Obvious rears his ugly head again, though he is already on welfare.
  • 2011 - Chuck Norris turns 71 and is officially declared "Hella Old". Bad weather forces special ops teams to take on their secondary target, Osama bin Laden.
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie


[vote]

Vaderguild.jpg

Vaderguild.jpg - 19 tiny rebels, 10 tiny toes ( 19 / 0 )
Vaderguild.jpg

Never underestimate the power of the dwarf.

Image credit: Modusoperandi

Recent Pie Recipes

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Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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