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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Did you know... *... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine! ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine! ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine! ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine!

Latest murders Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Past murders... May 12: Barry Manilow Appreciation Day, International Zombie Awareness Day (US, Canada) 1854 - Outbreak of zombie attacks, causes many deceased voters to form their own party. There was no beer and many people died. 1877 - Oscar Wilde pens his poem Sonnet to Liberty, advocating socialism and decrying many contemporary fashion trends. 1881 - In North Africa, Tunisia becomes a French protectorate, and thus enjoys its last noteworthy moment for nearly 100 years, until the filming of Star Wars there in 1977. 1943 - Barry Manilow is born. He will become a feral child raised by a biker gang. 1973 - Manilow forms KISS but leaves due to creative differences and makeup allergies. 1974 - Depressed mood ring commits suicide. (pictured) 1985 - The Book of the Dead is discovered by a 12-year-old child in London and sold for 3 baseball cards and a Jefferson Starship cassette tape. 1987 - The Book of the Dead is set to music by Barry Manilow; more mood rings commit suicide. 2003 - Pocahontas sells her memoir Hokey Pokey: Frolicking, Singing, and Doing a White Guy to Disney, which is subsequently made into a popular children's movie. 2004 - The zombie of Walter Cronkite rises from the ground to report on the Alabama Tri-County Kitten Pageant. 2009 - The late great Dr. Emmett Brown travels back in time to warn America of the future communist dick-tater El Presidente "Bha-rock Obomb-ba" or as we know him as, Presidenture Barack Obama. No one listens to him and our fate has been sealed. 2011 - Zompocalypse. Only the nerds were prepared as hordes of Bieber Fans zombies take over the meat factories. 2012 - Star Wars Kid rolls an 8. Zombies die (for real this time). Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

[vote] Gandhi first blood 1.jpg Gandhi first blood 1.jpg - 9 Pissed Off Pacifists ( 12 / 3 ) M. K. Gandhi (Sylvester Stallone) is a former member of an elite United States Army Special Forces unit, and was awarded a Medal of Honor for his service in the Zulu War. Gandhi - First Blood tells the tale of his reintergration into society as well as his involvement within the Indian independence movement. A touching and heartfelt movie for all the family. Image credit: Mhaille

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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