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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Featured today, a long long time ago Norse Korea, featured on 20 February 2025. See the featured version. Haka, featured on 21 February 2023. See the featured version. Did you know... *... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed because engineers had failed to convert measurements in fathoms and rods to the metric system? ... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed because engineers had failed to convert measurements in fathoms and rods to the metric system? ... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that the Mars Climate Orbiter crashed because engineers had failed to convert measurements in fathoms and rods to the metric system? ... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?

Latest murders Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Past murders... February 21: Killer Bee 10K Run Day 2 million BCE - A bird species, later called the African Honey Guide, learns to lead humans to beehives to get them to take all the stinging punishment while robbing a hive. Nearly comatose humans would then leave a portion of honey for the birds. Bees would put up a fight but concede it was better than the old days where a Tyrannosaurus Rex would just eat the whole hive and the tree it was on. c.3500 BCE - Egyptians domesticate the wild bee, forcing them to build pyramids and temples. Moses the Bee begins a revolt and leads her hive out of Egypt, leaving Pharoah with nothing to put on his toast. 1415 - French knights test armor made of mashed potatoes. No knights survive to make a negative report, so production goes into full swing. 1822 - Farley Upham trains bees to make their honey in glass jars, revolutionizing the industry. 1903 - The Wright Brothers fly the first bumblebee, after being told it couldn't be done. 1922 - The first bee movie is made, Bee Guiled. 1942 - Sea bees extend their range throughout the Pacific islands. They are ignored by whales who prefer salty snacks. 1957 - A descendent of Moses the Bee leads multiple Africanized bee colonies out of Brazil to the promised land, apparently Saskatchewan, Canada. They mow down hundreds of humans in their path acquiring the "killer bee" (KB) moniker causing dyslexics to flee from Burger King (BK) signs. 1960 - The Bee-Jesus is born in Harmony, Australia. 1961 - Bees begin making honey in bear-shaped containers, increasing sales many times. Bears then attempt to sell themselves in bee-shaped containers, with tragic results. 2010 - Long-distance running becomes popular as more people encounter killer bees. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] Psycho.jpg Psycho.jpg - 29 total votes ( 30 / 1 ) Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating. Image credit: Bonjo Nelson

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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