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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Did you know... *... the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that I only slept with your wife as a prank? ... the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that I only slept with your wife as a prank? ... the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop? ... that I only slept with your wife as a prank? ... the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?

Latest murders Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Past murders... July 15: International Video Game Day 1899 - Dr. Edwin Joy invents the first joystick usable for games. It fails to catch on with whist players. 1981 - The MKULTRA project is used to convince millions that the arcade game Polybius actually exists. This is done in order to get back badly needed quarters being hoarded by children. 1982 - Atari, Inc. releases E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600 game console, which is met with rave reviews and general praise from gamers and critics alike. 1983 - The Donkey Kong arcade game is banned in Saudi Arabia due to Sharia law prohibiting mingling barrels and apes. 1986 - Dragon Warrior (pictured) is released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, paving the way for role-playing video games. 1988 - The first adult-oriented video game is released for the Nintendo Entertainment System, but the small processors and inadequate graphics rendered the game much more confusing than it was erotic. 1997 - Goldeneye 007, starring James Bond, is released for the Nintendo 64, in what many still consider to be the greatest first-person shooter of all time. 2002 - Playing off of the massive success of The Lord of the Rings franchise, a video game based on The Two Towers is released, but it is not received well by fans due to the absence of Lord Sauron as a playable character. 2006 - In honor of International Video Game Day, a flash game becomes available on the Homestar Runner website featuring Trogdor the Burninator. 2007 - AYBABTU is almost forgotten, for great justice. 2009 - You finally realize you have worn a deep groove in your couch while playing video games. You will eventually find yourself sitting in a 2 foot deep hole in the floor. 2011 - Unicorn Appreciation Day. Congratulate the unicorns on another year passed. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] IWinAd.png IWinAd.png - 18.5 justifiable homicides ( 30.5 / 12 ) Even the power of an iPod is no match for the common gun. Image credit: Llama-Llover

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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