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Did you know...
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*... the answer to this question?
- ... that when a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with a pistol will start giggling uncontrollably over the scene in Fistful of Dollars?
- ... the answer to this question?
- ... that when a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with a pistol will start giggling uncontrollably over the scene in Fistful of Dollars?
- ... the answer to this question?
- ... that when a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with a pistol will start giggling uncontrollably over the scene in Fistful of Dollars?
- ... the answer to this question?
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Latest murders
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Past murders...
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February 7: National Don't Memorize Your Lines Day
- 33 CE - Jesus memorizes his lines.
- 1756 - Oscar Wilde opens in a play for which he did not memorize his lines. He improvs the whole play, to everyone's amazement. This dialogue became the basis for Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Ernest'. It also lead to the consequent discovery of cheese.
- 1823 - ummmmm... Line!
- 1876 - Steam locomotive forgets its lines, derails, crashes, kills hundreds. Fuckwit.
- 1901 - Sherlock Holmes forgets his "lines".
- 1950 - The... teleprompter... is... invented... for... people... who... do... not... something.
- 1965 - Birthday of Gamera. Gamera gets his ass handed to him before he can destroy Tokyo by Godzilla. Since Tokyo is now not in any immediate danger, Godzilla destroys Tokyo.
- 1967 - The Japanese monster movies introduce their most terrifying monster character yet: "Hitler" - a human who attacks other nations without provocation and slaughters millions. His most successful movie, World War II, pits him against another monster, Stalin. Stalin is given eye beams to counter Hitler's flame-breath. In a strange turn of events, Tokyo is not destroyed. Modern science is baffled.
- 1975 - American troops in Vietnam forget their lines. The A team are wrongly accused of this. They promptly escape using a combination of Bill Clinton's cigars, a cabbage launcher and Mr T's pity. The rest is history.
- 1980 - Riverdance is originally performed by Shetland ponies. However, thrown horseshoes kill several audience members so human replacements are used afterwards.
- 1998 - OMEs plan to to declare war on the emos... but they forget their lines.
- 2005 - This is the day the All Mighty Muffin Lord takes over Earth Beta. He conquered the previous ruler because he had his lines memorized.
- 2007 - The All Mighty Muffin Lord forgets his lines and is killed by the Earth Beta version of Peyton Manning (who is, in this timeline, a neo-Nazi overlord).
- 2008 - Don't know what happens today? Well if you'd learned your lines you'd know what this was going to say. Tough shit.
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| Pie of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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