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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Featured today, a long long time ago HowTo:Become a Pope, featured on 31 March 2025. See the featured version. Did you know... *... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons? ... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains? ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers? ... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons? ... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains? ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers? ... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons? ... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains? ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers? ... that moisturizer was a failed attempt at making human water-balloons?

Latest murders Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Past murders... April 2: National Refrigerator Day (Paraguay) c.9000 BCE - During severe late freezes, cavemen would kill a mammoth but leave it intact to freeze solid. Then by pushing it over, it would shatter, making easy-to-carry pieces to take home. This would eventually turn into the practice of cow tipping after cattle are domesticated. 1111 - The Knights Templar come into being as a clandestine drinking society. 1391 - Bob Hope fights a grizzly bear and is elected King of Prussia upon his victory. 1646 - The Little Ice Age makes refrigeration unnecessary, as people are too cold to get up and make dinner in the first place. 1942 - The classic arcade title 1942 is designed; the rights to the year are purchased by Capcom. 1983 - Science is invented by accident. It is quickly swept into a bedpan. 1984 - Miniluv put crimethink proles into fridge, remake them goodthink fullwise. Maytag Man is sent to Room 101. 2002 - The U.S. Kitten Embargo begins as part of The War Against Terror. (pictured) 2005 - St. Peter's Basilica accidentally eats the Pope but is killed by atheist Harry Potter. 2005 - The first Expired Goods Festival is held. Its popularity is proven by all the attendees that expire afterward. 2007 - The third Expired Goods Festival is held and abandoned, due to mutant foodstuffs eating exhibitors. 2008 - The X-Men come to fight with mutant foodstuffs but later have found that they're the same kind as them. So they have a good brotherly group hug and leave. 2009 - Thousands are found dead with a bag of frozen peas or mixed vegetables stuck to their faces after Indiana Jones supposedly proves you can survive a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator. 2010 - Wayne Rooney discovers second brain cell then asplodes after information overload. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] GalleryofWTF.png GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 ) The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world. Image credit: 90s Kid21

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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