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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Did you know... *... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?

Latest murders Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Past murders... May 30: Memorial Day (United States), Lod's Massacre Appreciation Day (Puerto Rico) 1421 – Jerome of Prague is burned at the stake for heresy and so kicks off the Memorial Day barbecue tradition. 1431 – National hero of France Joan of Arc is burned at the stake in Rouen, France, after being convicted of wizardy for being able to produce milk from her breasts. 1539 – Hernando de Soto discovers Florida while its natives discover Hernando de Soto. He manages to stay out of arrow range thus avoiding the traditional Florida greeting still used today. 1831 – James Boyd patents the rubber fire hose not realizing that fires are made of fire and not rubber. 1898 – Thomas Edison invents sand so people will have something to sit on during the US holiday. 1941 – The first Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition (pictured) held in Rome. 1967 – Wilbur Wright's ghost manifests itself in the body of an otter. 1984 – Big Brother watches you after starring in an Apple commercial. 1995 – Congress changes the holiday name to Meme Morial Day. Everyone is off somewhere for the day and doesn't notice. 1999 – The website Unicyclopedia about everything unicycles is launched. It would eventually morph into the famous humor site Wikipedia. 2002 – Slow day for Uncyclopedia editing. Readers are advised to move their lips while reading and nod their heads after every sentence to compensate. 2003 – Memes about dead people flood the internet. Deceased Facebook members heartily approve. 2004 – It is a slow day for Uncyclopedia editing so pet iguanas are allowed to take the controls for the day. Readership jumps 300% as intelligibility is increased. 2013 – God recreates Earth, starting with Uncyclopedia. 2017 – The Indy 500 are convicted in federal court along with ringleader Indiana Jones. Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie
[vote] Psycho.jpg Psycho.jpg - 29 total votes ( 30 / 1 ) Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating. Image credit: Bonjo Nelson

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,334 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

Other Uncyclopedias

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​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
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​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

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