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Today's featured corpse COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More) Recently featured: Archive – Vote for featured articles Yesterday's featured corpse Did you know... *... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone? ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky? ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone? ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky? ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone? ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky? ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?

Latest murders Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia (pictured) Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Past murders... February 8: Worship an Idol Day (Canaan), Weorshcipe an Heathern God Dai ([Eald England]) 4527 BCE - The Eald Englanders worship Odin, although he has not yet obtained an official God licence (for your own contact 0800-GOD-LICENCE-PLEASE (US only)), as he was licenced under Zeus (0300). 1856 BCE - Hebrews arrive at the Promised Land, start worshipping Baal (then no licence, now under 2110). 1020 BCE - Rome built in 23 hours and 58 minutes. 407 BCE - The Olmecs pray to their rain god and are rewarded with huge amounts of rain. Unfortunately, their later prayers to the god of swimming lessons are not heard and the civilization is wiped out. 33 - Jesus visits 50 people at the same time and laughs about how they try to explain it while watching from his cloud. 76 - Roman philosopher Flushibus Maximus publishes his masterpiece, Indoor Plumbing, the Devil Incarnate. Rome is destroyed by typhoid. 77 - Romans pray for deliverance from typhoid. Their pleas are answered by the twin goddesses of tripping and falling and the god of lead poisoning. 1755 - In Massachusetts, John Kerry and the Antipope offer 20 pounds for scalps of Native American boys and girls, Protestants, and Senate Majority Leaders. 1819 - Mary Shelley creates Frankenstein. The beast runs amok and destroys most of the species on Earth. Charles Darwin is inspired by this and together with Richard Dawkins creates the theory of evilution. 1925 - Rl'yeh rises from the ocean floor. The Cthulhu Cult rejoices. The rest of the world shits their pants. 1926 - Simon Cowell rises from the ocean floor. The Cult of Insincere and Soulless Cover Songs rejoices. 2001 - California Adventure establishes its independence from Disneyland, with the aid of terrorists Don al-Duck and Huey Hussein. 2008 - Osama bin Laden is elected member of Parliament for Bradford, Leeds (UK). Pie of the Week For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

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[vote] Tide Pods Candy.JPG Tide Pods Candy.JPG - 6 total votes ( 6 / 0 ) Insert image caption here Image credit: Insert image credits here

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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