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Did you know...
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*... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
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Latest murders
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Past murders...
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December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland)
- 863 - Jackals start having trouble with their night vision and build the first jackal lanterns.
- 1865 - The USA ends slavery; it immediately outsources slave labor to China at $0.06/hr and Mexico at a variable rate.
- 1901 - Chicago woman gives birth to Walt Disney, who immediately sues her for copyright infringement.
- 1910 - The puzzle potato is nearly shoplifted by Winona Ryder from Lester B. Pearson's flaxen wool-works store. The event will be made into hit a movie starring Gary Coleman as Winona Ryder.
- 1962 - An assassin only known as "The Jackal" shoots Charles de Gaulle, with the bullet passing harmlessly through the latter's head.
- 1967 - The word "pwned" finally reaches its expiration date, according to the recently-unearthed original packaging. Despite that, nobody stops using the word.
- 1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem (see: One Small Step) and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich". Some debate the legality of this play, questioning whether Armstrong was wearing his black mask under his space helmet, but Armstrong has silenced most of their criticisms through clever use of "Jinx!"
- 1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
- 1979 - The United Kingdom realizes Donkey Kong as a threat.
- 1982 - A law is passed in Botswana that not only legalizes but encourages the use of the bong.
- 1984 - A Botswanian man mixes a dangerous cocktail of toxic waste, Windex, triple-ply toilet paper and leprechaun s'mores in his bong. The resulting smokes endow the man with the power to light his middle finger ablaze when using it for insult. In response, local Botswanians are quoted as saying, "Hmm."
- 2310 - Sea lions begin developing science labs to discuss the great science god, William Herbert.
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| Pie of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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