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Did you know...
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*... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... a Missouri woman lived for years on ketchup packets? They can be made into excellent flooring if you are careful.
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Latest murders
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Past murders...
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January 28: World I Am the Voice of the Mysterions Day, Hi, I'm Ed Winchester Day (Austin, Texas only)
- 1800 BCE - Brits invent the word 'reaulycing' from their caves. America is criticised for improving it and accused of warmongering.
- 841 BCE - The gods of table tennis take on the the gods of cheesy snacks for domination of the universe and the right to lead bunnies in their quest for world domination.
- 978 - Birds suddenly decide to migrate from east to west. Pigeon haters are delighted.
- 1591 - Queen Elizabeth I's personal confessor Abbot Costello is confused by cricket, shouting, 'Who's on first?'.
- 1873 - After writing the novels Little Women and Little Men, Louisa May Alcott writes The Incredible Shrinking Man and Ant Man Comics. no. 1, neither of which would be released until after her death.
- 1932 - Without warning, the Voice of the Mysterions is heard on every radio channel in every country of the world. The voice is interrupted by the Voice of the Mysterians and a garbled argument ensues. This would later lead to radio talk shows using a seven-second delay.
- 1975 - Happy Days Is Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience – did you know that? I didn't know that!
- 1982 - Happy Days spinoff Joani Loves Chachi is filmed in front of a zombie audience with laugh track tape players in their laps to accommodate its shooting schedule.
- 1996 - Slap bracelets are re-introduced into the world and you become cool for just one moment longer.
- 2003 - The US military is censured for human rights violations for showing Pauly Shore and Adam Sandler movies to prisoners held at Abu Ghraib prison.
- 2005 - As prophesied, Uncyclopedia reaches its 33rd article, triggering the end of the world.
- 2008 - People get fed up after realising that January 28th is changed to 'International Realising Day'.
- 2009 - Dr. Mario is executed after being convicted of misleading pharmacists on how to put pills in bottles.
- 2013 - Scary Movie V is condemned as the work of the Devil. An insulted Satan denies even being remotely connected to the so-called movie and retaliates the next year by bringing out Divergent, Yet Another Godzilla Movie and The Expendables 3.
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| Pie of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.
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Detective and Piemaker of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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