From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
37,409 articles in Canadian, eh?
|
|
|
|
|
Today's featured article
|
Today's featured article – Alexander IV
Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
|
Did you know...
|
*... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
|
|
In the news
|
|
On this day...
|
|
October 10: Not-for-Turning Day, International Day of No Underwear
- 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar while not wearing any underwear. He announces that turning is immoral.
- 1605 - Miguel Cervantes creates Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for him, Niccolo Machiavelli would always beat him for high score.
- 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns over a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
- 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous catchphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
- 1841 - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow writes the poem Excelsior, extolling the virtues of wood shavings.
- 1921 - Lana Turner is born and immediately gets into trouble.
- 1936 - The Ace Hardware chain is started by Walter Leatherface who really enjoys demonstrating the newly invented chainsaw.
- 1954 - The TV dinner is invented but is only available in black and white.
- 1955 - Jimi Hendrix is spawned from Buddy Holly's guitar and a rum-and-coke while illegally turning on the New Jersey Turnpike.
- 1962 - Transistors replace tubes in TV dinners.
- 1964 - The US destroyer USS Turner Joy lives up to her name by turning and starts the Tonkin Gulf Incident.
- 1975 - USA leads a search for a man named "Charlie" in Vietnam.
- 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
- 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Jim Morrison turns in his grave.
- 2006 - North Korea tests nukes. In response, America builds comsat stations; Iran upgrades zealots; Afghanistan makes turning weapons that have no use.
- 2015 - George Bush dies from a serious case of turning.
- 2015 - Al Gore is arrested for the turning of an undisclosed ex-politician.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Prime Minister and Canuck of the Month
|
|
Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon, Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon.
|
|
Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear. Moose. Polar Bear.
|
Vote for Prime Minister of the Month | Vote for Canuck of the Month | Vote for Moose of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
37,409 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages:
Protected by the Maple Syrup Clause, and an elite clan of Mounties.
