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The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares.
37,352 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

  • ... in just one week you can learn the complete lyrics to the 1960s song Tequila?
  • ... that wearing a top hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ... Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely toxic last name?
  • ... water has been found on the surface of Mars?
  • ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
  • ... Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle Is Partly Visible?
  • ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?
  • ... that without lists, we feel listless?
  • ... historians agree that in the Battle of Solent (1510), warship HMS Mary Rose should not have tried to come about to starboard in strong gusts and instead should have made a left at Albuquerque?
  • ... one of the great ironies of the Crimean War was that the Earl of Sandwich's troops were constantly sandwiched between Russian artillery and cavalry?
    • ... and that Lord Raglan had nothing up his sleeve?
  • ... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year?
    • ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?
  • ... the Channel Islands exist in a time-space warp that allow them to appear in the English Channel and off the coast of California at the same time?

Recent deaths


Today sucks because...

Mullet family.jpg

September 11: International Worst Inventions Ever Day

  • 13,800,000,000 BCE Universe invented. Previous universe wiped out due to Large Hadron Collider collision.
  • 3000 BCE - Egyptians invent papyrus. Moments later, the paper cut is invented. Still some moments later, some pretty expressive swear words are invented.
  • 33 CE - Judas invents the noose while just hanging around.
  • 100 CE - Romans invent the wedgie to torment Christians.
  • 911 - Nostradamus, having predicted 9/11, invents the telephone number 911.
  • 1753 - An Oxford University student invents the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard.
  • 1883 - The Worst Invention of the Year is a tossup between Islamic Fundamentalism (Middle East) and Christian Fundamentalism (United States).
  • 1934 - Aviation pioneer Igor Sikorsky invents the helicopter ejection seat.
  • 1939 - Inspired by an awful experience at summer camp, Hitler invents his own franchise of camps.
  • 1945 - Morning After Pill not yet invented; George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush invent George W.
  • 1961 - Hair scientists invent the mullet (pictured). The nesting bird population increases dramatically.
  • 1968 - The internet is developed, sporting six-pack abs and huge rockets and not an ounce of fat. However, 30 years later...
  • 1972 - Construction of the Trans-Amazonian Highway is completed. Lesbian Amazonians are slightly miffed.
  • 1981 - Road rage is invented when the Trans-Amazonian Highway is extended through your cubicle.
  • 2001 - An aircraft magnet is accidently turned on in the Pentagon.
  • 2001 - Osama Bin Laden invents the world's first airplane/building hybrid
  • 2001 - American Airlines mysteriously loses 2 planes.
  • 2002 - Emo movement is saddened but remains vaguely hopeful when it is invented.
  • 2002 - The White House invents WMD.
  • 2006 - An antigovernment father spends the day without turning on TV or radio, insisting that he doesn't want to hear about what happened five years ago, but in truth, hasn't paid the electricity bill.

Today's featured artistry

Heart-o-nails.jpg

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Nominate new image - View all featured images

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More newest friends | Pages that abandoned us | Lovelorn Pages | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Emo Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Poets of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward.jpg

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

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