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The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares.
37,299 heart-rending poems in English

Loneliness · Rejection · Love · Misery · Death · </3

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Today's Message of pain

Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude.

It is the feeling that no one loves me.
Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst.
No one understands me.
No one loves me.
My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying.
God, I hate them so much; the fakes.
The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care
All live in my iPod...


Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right?
I'm not.
Not since she left me.
I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am,
or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair.
It was the best three days of my life, though, with her.
She was so much better than the girl last week.
I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie.
They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul.
They are tempting me.

Did you care...

  • ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
  • ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ... that Every Good Boy Does Floccinaucinihilipilification?
  • ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages?
  • ... that one person can change the world?
  • ... that the Michigan Firehouse Museum is home to the largest collection of fire truck bell hanger mounting rivets in the United States?
  • ... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
  • ... if you feed a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you feed a man to a fish, you go to jail?
  • ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
  • ... about alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ... that vandalism is fukcing queer haha gay?
  • ... Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely toxic last name?
  • ... air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?

Recent deaths


Today sucks because...

J'accuse!

February 12: World Write in Graeco-Latin Day (Graeco-Rome)

  • 544 BCE - Greek becomes the language of commerce and government in the eastern Mediterranean areas, Latin in the west. Most people in both areas would continue to curse and scream in their native languages. Confused fish in the Aegean Sea would just wing it.
  • 310 BCE - Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
  • 311 BCE - Id qua.
  • 299 BCE - Graeco-Latin Squares first appears as a game show in the Mediterranean area, with pairs of famous Greeks and Romans in each square, with contestants attempting to determine if answers given to questions are true or not. Leonhard Euler would later figure out the optimum strategy, spoiling it all.
  • 83 BCE - Greeks train a huge army of vicious anteaters to attack Carthage, marching them into the sea to secretly attack the port and shipping. Results are mixed as thousands of dead anteaters block the harbor entrance though survivors sweep Carthage clean of ants.
  • 3+3=3 - Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graeco-Labrador fiesta!
  • 415 - The polymath Hypatia of Alexandria is killed by a mob for asking, "Didn't we just celebrate this holiday yesterday?"
  • 444 - "Yo' momma." – Attila the Hun.
  • 888 - With no one left, the barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
  • 1346 - The trireme is abandoned in favor of sailing ships after the song Row, row, row your boat makes its unwanted appearance.
  • 1809 - The holy profit of evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
  • 1898 - Graeco-Roman wrestling is introduced into the Olympics, moved from sofas in darkened parlors and back seats of carriages.
  • 2001 - In honor of the invention of Greek fire, Canadians invent Arcade Fire.
  • 2012 - Etruscans return from outer space to place flaming bags of poo on archaeologists' doorsteps.

Today's featured artistry

Heart-o-nails.jpg

My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it.

Image Credit: RadicalX
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Poets of the Month

Wotm.jpg

Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes.

Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes).


Noobaward.jpg

The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries.


Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year!


Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

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