Em:

Emopedia

left

Welcome to Emopedia, The artsy and misunderstood encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but probably won't, since nobody cares. 37,298 heart-rending poems in English

Pain Rejection Depression

Sadness Misery Gloom

Conformists Futility All

Today's Message of pain Loneliness is the dark despair of solitude. It is the feeling that no one loves me. Not even my mom or my cat really understand the pain of Teenaged Angst. No one understands me. No one loves me. My family claims that they do, but we all know they're lying. God, I hate them so much; the fakes. The only people who love me, The only ones who understand or care All live in my iPod... Valentines Day. People are supposed to be happy, right? I'm not. Not since she left me. I guess she found someone more screwed up than I am, or perhaps he's just more Scene than I, or maybe it's his hair. It was the best three days of my life, though, with her. She was so much better than the girl last week. I let her draw Xs and Cut Lines on my wrists in sharpie. They're still there, mocking me, reflecting the darkness in my soul. They are tempting me. Did you care... ... your local restaurant "borrowed" its special recipe from the movie Pink Flamingos? ... that science works in nearly every country? ... the world has nearly run out helium for airships and toy balloons? ... but dog farts will provide enough gas to last thousands of years? ... the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon? ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass? ... the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon? ... a stitch in time doesn't save nine, but saves nuns from being sucked into time portals or wormholes? ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky? ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno? ... that Richard the Lionheart of England had a "Richard the Lionheart" of his own? ... that if you see Buddha on the road, you should kill him, but first get his autograph on a baseball or something? ... the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution? ... Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely toxic last name? ... that Arceus is the true Lord and Saviour and not that fake Felix Hossil or whatever he's called? ...that love is not what makes Subaru, a Subaru; it's rather the wheels, body, and engine? ... that Tyrannosaurus Rex went extinct because it couldn't reach anything put on a top shelf?	Recent deaths Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Today sucks because... Coffee Enema January 21: National Dirty Sanchez Your Dad's Coffee Day, Day of Tribulation 1000 BCE - Vikings land on an inhospitable island they call "Niv Iaerssei"; this event later forms the backbone of The Saga of Rigaatoni Pennesson. 1592 - Elmunsucío Sánchez Columbus discovers Atlantis, but loses the map. Thus it is lost for all eternity. 1654 - John Morrisey drinks too much coffee and gets a vision of a gigantic coffee empire, with himself riding on a male star deer. 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, sells out to the British. He later begins a travelling show, called Hey Arnold! 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub. His staff does not criticize the action or location but just arrange to have shower curtains installed around the South Portico. 1915 - The first Kiwanis Club meeting. To this day they still can't figure out what their purpose is, but constantly argue over who has the better wife. 1933 - Gangsters use machine guns to fire thousands of slugs at police but quickly replace them with snails. 1991 - First ever Yo-Mama Joke is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow. 1996 - Former Pink Floyd frontman Syd Barrett climbs the Empire State Building; some blonde chick knocks him off. 2000 - Aaron Copland conquers the Martians; historians vote this to be the "Best day... ever". 2008 - Tom Hanks falls off a bridge; there is much rejoicing. 2013 - Bob Barker dies from a Viagra overdose. 2036 - Tracy Morgan wins the gold medal in Olympic Stand-Up. Adam Sandler comes in third.
Today's featured artistry My heart has been broken... Then taken out and had a bunch of nails put in it. Image Credit: RadicalX Nominate new image - View all featured images
edit Newest MySpace friends John Mahama (pictured) | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift More newest friends | Pages that abandoned us | Lovelorn Pages | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Emo Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push
Poets of the Month Modusoperandi hunts down random, unfunny shit which he replaces with less-random, quasi-funny shit. Occasionally he gets up off his ass (or more correctly, sits down on it) and makes a page of his own, to which no one ever goes. Recently he's been making pictures that people don't like and, having discovered UnNews, has been making fake news stories (rather than the fake regular stories that he normally makes). The Bard (baptised 26 April 1564 – died 23 April 1616) was an English poet and playwright widely regarded as the greatest writer of the English language, and the world's preeminent dramatist. He wrote approximately 38 plays and 154 sonnets, as well as a variety of other poems. Already a popular writer in his own lifetime, the Bard became increasingly celebrated after his death and his work adulated by numerous prominent cultural figures through the centuries. Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Poet of the Year, and Mhaille, our Self-harmer of the Year! Vote for Poet of the Month | Vote for Loner of the Month | Vote for Self-harmer of the Month | Past Losers

Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects. UnNews The news source on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper Games Another way to waste time HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes galore Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock! UnCommons Broken media repository This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,298 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages: Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194 Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644 アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675 Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266 Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849 Désencyclopédie Français France 10073 Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708 偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652 Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14 Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered. Other Uncyclopedias 백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103 ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473 Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276 Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143 伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411 איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224 קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11 Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281 Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4 Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4 Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873 اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329 نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594 ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40 Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0 Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618 Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685 Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549 Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26 Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582 Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56 Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213 Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47 আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19 Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853 Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9 Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11 ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10 Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188 Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463 Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27 Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303 Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30 Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170 ​ Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082 Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19 Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971 Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899 Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776 ​ Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258 Neciclopedie Română Romania 174 Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84 Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177 Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303 ​ Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96 Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158 Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276 Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720 Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

Protected by the life-is-unfair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Goths.