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“Everything popular is wrong.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Popular


~ Popular on not Popular people

Is something everybody else loves or agree with. This society phenomenon can be observed through media, publicity and music. Antonyms of "popular" include your name.

Popular Brands[edit]

Are those brands that the really good products will be compared to. Popular brand soap doesn't really wash dirt, it only masks it while this guy traps the dirt in bubbles and sends them to dirt heaven. Popular brand batteries, while they can make this rabbit bang his drums for hours, won't cure his impotence like our copper-aluminium composite bottom home brand.

Popular Beliefs[edit]

Always preceded with "contrary to the". In fact, unless an angry mob or a journalist asks what somebody thinks about a particular issue, the typical person will never stick to popular beliefs. It would make him sound stupid or sheepish. Every single popular belief has already been proven wrong, including:

  • You should sit while you drive.
  • Colour printers are neat.
  • This car crash will be an interesting sight.
  • Farting in escalators doesn't smell as much as farting in an elevator.

Popular Philosophy[edit]

Popular philosophy is the result of everybody else's collaboration to dumb down a subject to a few buzzwords and is the main source of revenue for popular content makers. Resulting from either alcohol induced wisdom or misleading translations of older documents, popular philosophy is for suckers. Everybody else being one, followers flock to agree with popular philosophy, then embed it in their popular music, books or movies in order to appeal to everybody else. Of course, you can only be popular if you wear expensive clothes that everyone can recognize; no matter how ugly or retarded you are, girls will come to you endlessly.

Popular Art[edit]

Is an oxymoron.

Popular Music[edit]

Is the kind of music you will never voluntary listen to, but hear all the time. At one stage of his life, every human has to buy at least one popular music album as an initiation ritual. This music is then used by its owner to pretend he likes it so he can attract an individual of the opposite sex, which is part of one half of everybody else. Popular music albums are mass produced and force fed through the use of AOL-like unsollicited mail, airwaves, movie trailers and popular music festivals.

Popular Movies[edit]

Several rules needs to be followed if a movie studio wants to appeal to everyone. The more elements from the following list a movie contains, the more certain that movie's popularity will increase:

  • A guy getting kicked in the nuts.
  • Hot ladies
  • Hot gentlemen (ie; Johnny Depp)
  • Blood
  • Explosions and/or nudity
  • Rolling cars
  • Sidekicks

How to Become Popular[edit]

Popular is a state of mind. You can be popular whenever you want to, if you just believe you are! However, in most schools/work places/Governments there is a thing we like to call a "Pecking Order". People who have Money/Friends/Bitches are at the top. People who have none of these things, or spend most of their lives getting to "Level 70" because they believe it has some sort of significance in their puny, worthless lives, are at the bottom. People in the middle include you, and all of your friends. Well, I say "friends", but I'm just being nice.

There is no way to proceed higher in the Pecking Order without steroids, money or a gun. If you're on the bottom of the Pecking Order, your best options would be to:

  • One: Open your parents liquer and medicine cabinets and take out everythng that says "Keep away from Childeren", "Flammable" and "Hair Tonic". If you do not own a cabinet, just get some laundry powder and motor oil. Mix it all into a concoction, and save it for step three.
  • Two: Write a depressing letter about how unfulfilled your life has been so far. If you lack the cappacity to write a full letter, do what most people do and start blogging on Myspace.
  • Three: Follow the handy steps that may or may not be here. If you still haven't got the jist of things yet, just take your depressing note, huddle in a corner/toilet cubical and drink your Amazing Medical Cocktail. Good luck!