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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Alexander IV Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great. Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics. Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...) Recently featured: Arthur Currie Star Trek Windows XP Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...) Did you know... *... the song Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the Michigan Firehouse Museum is home to the largest collection of fire truck bell hanger mounting rivets in the United States? ... the song Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the Michigan Firehouse Museum is home to the largest collection of fire truck bell hanger mounting rivets in the United States? ... the song Harder Better Faster Stronger by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke?	In the news Farage creates, wins crisis‎ (pictured) Burr and Hamilton to settle differences with a cage fight The King is dead Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA On this day... August 26: Creationism Vs. Evolution Annual Boxing Match Day, International Ameobic Birthday 200,000,000,000,000,000 BCE - God creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaneously existing before existence, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated out and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) die of asphyxiation. 12,032 BCE - The wheel is invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe, UK. 5000 BCE - Creationists devolve from Homo sapiens. 1303 - Ala-ud-din Khilji wins Chittoor. It was behind door number 3. 1567 - A great feast held by Duke Crisco The Lard is held at his home in Edinburgh. The resulting mass cannibalism is attributed to the duke's great hunger for "Scots". 1963 - August 26th is designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative. 1971 - The discovery that God created evolution makes scientists and theologians come together in a peace pact signed by the seventh incarnation of Charles Darwin, a slightly confused chimpanzee named BoBo, and the Mecha-Pope, a blue 1965 Oldsmobile named Oldsmobile Model #32415 Serial:45563901. 1980 - The peace pact ends when Jerry Falwell decides to test everyone's faith by defying logic, saying that the entire universe was created in a 7 24 hour day period. 1981 - The right wing nutjobs abandon science and logic to be creationists, while the liberal sissies abandon all hope of spiritual salvation and Heaven to be evolutionists. 1990 - At a creation/evolution debate, creationists kick the evolutionist's asses when they use the argument: Where did the ball that started the big bang come from? 1997 - God, seeing all the confusion between the creationists and evolutionists, reacts to it by doing absolutely nothing. 2025 - A pastor begins to question creationism. 2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on Earth and everyone lives happily ever after.
Today's featured picture [vote] Ctfo.jpg Ctfo.jpg - 23 screaming creams ( 25 / 2 ) Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax. Image credit: RadicalX
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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