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Today's featured article
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Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
- ... that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
- ... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
- ... that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
- ... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
- ... that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 13: Friday the 13th (only when falling on a Friday), Sleeping Baby Day (pictured)
- 1259 BC - Thou art given a set of commandments to live by, while the rest of the Jews are free to do whatever they please, such as wandering in the desert and eating golden calves at expensive restaurants.
- 843 - The duck goes "quack."
- 1139 - Victor IV becomes the antipope, the first with an IV.
- 1809 - Swedish King Gustav IV is deposed, after posing for animal crackers.
- 1881 - On third-and-long, The Russia Revolutionaries (an expansion team) elects to go for the bomb, with Alexander II intercepting it and exploding for a touchdown.
- 1947 - The first murmurings of Holocaust denial denial surface when the existence of a Holocaust denial group in Geneva, Switzerland is questioned. Most people assume wrongly denial is in Egypt, not in Europe.
- 1991 - TV personality Maury Povich debuts as the host of the quizzically named Maury Povich Show.
- 1991 - Exxon is made to pay $1 billion for the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Exxon executives openly weep as they are forced to only increase their annual bonuses by 10% instead of the usual 30%. Their drug dealers go into a day of mourning.
- 2005 - Mobile phones with a new "voice chat" feature appear on the market, but are not well received.
- 2007 - The new and improved Pee Review is born, bringing Uncyclopedia authors down yet another peg.
- 2015 - March 13 falls on a Friday resulting in a million naughty kittens appearing in South America for the rest of the day.
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Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| WikiSphere.jpg - 20 total votes ( 20 / 0 )
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Imagine a world in which the sum of all human knowledge is in your hand.
Image credit: SunnyChow
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
