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Today's featured article
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Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... members of Flat Earth Society travel all around the world to promote their views?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... members of Flat Earth Society travel all around the world to promote their views?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
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In the news
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On this day...
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February 21: Killer Bee 10K Run Day
- 2 million BCE - A bird species, later called the African Honey Guide, learns to lead humans to beehives to get them to take all the stinging punishment while robbing a hive. Nearly comatose humans would then leave a portion of honey for the birds. Bees would put up a fight but concede it was better than the old days where a Tyrannosaurus Rex would just eat the whole hive and the tree it was on.
- c.3500 BCE - Egyptians domesticate the wild bee, forcing them to build pyramids and temples. Moses the Bee begins a revolt and leads her hive out of Egypt, leaving Pharoah with nothing to put on his toast.
- 1415 - French knights test armor made of mashed potatoes. No knights survive to make a negative report, so production goes into full swing.
- 1822 - Farley Upham trains bees to make their honey in glass jars, revolutionizing the industry.
- 1903 - The Wright Brothers fly the first bumblebee, after being told it couldn't be done.
- 1922 - The first bee movie is made, Bee Guiled.
- 1942 - Sea bees extend their range throughout the Pacific islands. They are ignored by whales who prefer salty snacks.
- 1957 - A descendent of Moses the Bee leads multiple Africanized bee colonies out of Brazil to the promised land, apparently Saskatchewan, Canada. They mow down hundreds of humans in their path acquiring the "killer bee" (KB) moniker causing dyslexics to flee from Burger King (BK) signs.
- 1960 - The Bee-Jesus is born in Harmony, Australia.
- 1961 - Bees begin making honey in bear-shaped containers, increasing sales many times. Bears then attempt to sell themselves in bee-shaped containers, with tragic results.
- 2010 - Long-distance running becomes popular as more people encounter killer bees.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
