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Today's featured article
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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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Did you know...
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*... that a live action version of Steamboat Willie is set for release next summer?
- ... Ötzi the Iceman was found with an overdue library book, with the fine now exceeding €4.2 million?
- ... that a live action version of Steamboat Willie is set for release next summer?
- ... Ötzi the Iceman was found with an overdue library book, with the fine now exceeding €4.2 million?
- ... that a live action version of Steamboat Willie is set for release next summer?
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In the news
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On this day...
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November 4: Artifical Limb Awareness Diurnal Period
- 1 CE - Jesus is born. Judaism prepares for a storm, as Jesus sports an artificial positronic brain, contrary to scripture.
- 200 - Oedipus: One Bad Mothafucka drops, released on Mythic Records, goes triple platinum.
- 1600 and something - Descartes decides the mind is separate from the body, through logical reasoning and skeptical doubt. Jewishism prepares for a storm, as minds are contrary to scripture.
- 1617 - William Shakespeare is arrested for posting his crabs to The Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects that!
- 1939 - After centuries of waiting, Judaism gets its storm.
- 2001 - God wins the Mega-Ball lottery. A fix is suspected.
- 2006 - Ikea declares war on Hinduism.
- 2007 – Sikorsky Aircraft and Swarovski Crystal merge and become Sikofwarskiski Crystal Aircraft. Their first project code named “The Flying Glass Thingy” shatters into a million pieces upon landing, rendering it useless. U.S. government purchases 2,839 units.
- 2008 - Thanks to ACORN, Americans can vote in the 2008 United States Presidential Election on Uncyclopedia.
- 2008 - George W. Bush defeats Saddam Hussein in the United States presidential election of 2008.
- 2009 - The list of people who steal lists is stolen.
- 2012 - Mexicans win the gold, silver, and bronze in Olympic lawnmowing.
- 2013 - The Australian federal election is won unanimously by the country's new "democratic" leader identifying himself only as LMS and ruling with an iron fist. All poor people are immediately evicted from the country. The economy booms.
- 2030 - We lose Waldo.
- 2517 - Malcolm Reynolds is elected president. His 7-year term will be abruptly cancelled after only 11 weeks.
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Today's featured picture
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[vote]
| Hand grenade.jpg - 30 total votes ( 33 / 3 )
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The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.
Image credit: Mosquitopsu
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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