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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Windows XP Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters. It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...) Recently featured: Switzerland St. Pierre and Miquelon Minotaur Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Switzerland Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...) Did you know... *... that a fool and his money are always welcome in my store? ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages? ... that a fool and his money are always welcome in my store? ... that by court order, you can have garnish, like chives and croutons, added to your wages? ... that a fool and his money are always welcome in my store?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia) 3500 BCE - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharoah Ramses IV hits a velociraptor with his chariot. 55 CE - Romans extend their road system throughout much of Europe, giving rise to the phrase, "All roads lead to roadkill." 1790 - Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road becomes a popular Romanian folk song. 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy. 1912 - The cow says "Moo." Enervating, is it not? 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland. 1962 - Julia Child releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon. 1969 - President Nixon continues the road kill bombing over Vietnam. 1990 - Road kill is officially the new mystery meat in school lunches. How offal. 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs, "I'm going to fucking bury that dog!! I've done it before and I will do it again!! I'm going to fucking kill that dog!!" 2005 - Gordon Ramsay is accidentally shoved into an oven with the door accidentally blocked with a large boulder. Even though completely cooked, Ramsay is able to criticize the cooking, the side vegetables and the presentation. 2009 - First human road killer has been discovered in Western China. Government officials deny that it is a young Usain Bolt at his best who pwns Tyson Gay. 2015 - A dead raccoon in Toronto is remembered with cards, candles and flowers as it is left lying on the sidewalk for hours and hours, because Canadians.
Today's featured picture [vote] CheckpointCharlieSign.png CheckpointCharlieSign.png - 5 fugitive(s) ( 5 / 0 ) Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it. Image credit: ScottPat
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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