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Today's featured article Today's featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count." Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...) Recently featured: Windows XP Switzerland St. Pierre and Miquelon Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Windows XP Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters. It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...) Did you know... *... that a hammer is a great diplomatic tool? ... although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam? ... that a hammer is a great diplomatic tool? ... although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam? ... that a hammer is a great diplomatic tool? ... although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?	In the news Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia On this day... March 19: Oh my god... I'm like... so freaking high right now... Kitten Huffing Day (traditional) 1000000 BCE -The first kitten is discovered by Egyptians. They try eating the kitten to get high but discover that you must sniff the critter. 1300 - Chinese explorer Hu Flhung Dhung brings back kittens to which the Chinese become instantly addicted. 1301 - Exactly one year later, the Chinese invent a more refined way of getting kitten into your system, now known by the street name "heroin". It is really kitten in pure form. 1462 - Holy Roman Emperor Yugo Hugo IV dies because he finds someone else's shoe wedged next to his toilet. 1915 - U.S. President Woodrow Wilson becomes the first American to get high on kittens. 1915 - Pluto is photographed for the first time, discovering the first extra-terrestrial colony of humans huffing kittens. 1942 - The U.S. implements wartime rationing of kittens and all cats under two years old. 1969 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten. 1972 - After huffing several hallucinogenic tigers, India and Bangladesh sign a friendship treaty. 1978 - Keith Richards swears that he has huffed his last kitten. 1981 - Paint and Chihuahua huffing causes fatalities as kittens are in short supply. 2003 - Saddam Hussein is forced to huff goats due to the impending U.S. invasion. 2007 - Keith Richards snorts his dad, wins "Reformed Huffer of the Year" award from PETA.
Today's featured picture [vote] CheckpointCharlieSign.png CheckpointCharlieSign.png - 5 fugitive(s) ( 5 / 0 ) Checkpoint Charlie was the only Berlin Wall crossing point where the authorities used humour as a weapon against those who tried to cross it. Image credit: ScottPat
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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