Main Page (edible)
Today's featured dish
Today's featured article – UnNews:Bad karaoke costs boys their vocal cords
NORTHAMPTON, England -- Three friends with learning difficulties, including one with Down's syndrome, performed such a poor rendition of the Beatles' classic "Hey Jude" at the Abington Pub in Northampton that the pub landlord removed their vocal cords.
Suspicions grew after landlord Neil Bartholomey purchased a bumper pack of best-value gags, three 2m × 2m cemetery plots, and a DIY embalming kit. It was later revealed that the whole patronage of the pub had been in on the plot to end the boys' budding singing careers.
"They were driving away customers with their ranting," Mr. Bartholomey explained. "It's not like this is the first time they've done it, either! Sometimes they just come in at about 3 o'clock, order a dozen Shirley Temples, and don't leave until their mum picks them up at 9!"
Mr. Bartholomey denied that extracting their vocal cords and leaving them to bleed violated human rights. "It was for the good of humanity!" he shouted as police subdued him. "If they wandered into your pub and started belting out "Yellow Submarine", you'd do the same, unless you're just not enough of a man!" (more...)
Previously featured article – Concision
Concision (also called brevity, laconicism, crispness, briefness, succinctness, pithiness or compactness but not to be confused with terseness (which is concision to the point of rudeness) or sententiousness (which is concision in the service of pompous moralising, or sanctimonious lecturing)) is a writing principle (or doctrine of composition) which promotes the advantages of eliminating, removing or excising redundancy from prose, verse and other forms of expressive writing. (more...)
You can vote for your favorite dishes to be featured.
Today's soup of the day is
In the news
Did you know...
Do you care...
Recent soupes du jour
Baire category theorem | Chickpea | Red squirrel | Iron law (pictured) | The Wheel of Time | James K. Polk | Chandigarh, India | Barcode | Billy Cunningham | The Catwoman in the Hat | Cake (band) | Aviation safety | Ketanji Brown Jackson | B-52 (r/w) | Cup of Joe | SZNZ | Pokémon games: Pokémon video games (3DS era) • Pokémon video games (Switch era) | Ghana: Kumasi • Koforidua • Accra • Takoradi • Tamale • Passion Air • Kakum National Park | Solo: A Star Wars Story | Ukraine: 2022 Russian invasion of Ukraine • History of Ukraine | Ann Nooney | The Monks (UK band) | Guinea (r/w) | The B-52s | DNA (r/w) | Scratch disk
Waiter and Chef of the Month
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 36,754 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
For nonsense related IRC chat, see this instructional menu.
Oh, can Mhaille stop deleting articles before anyone else has a chance to edit them. I mean god sake!
Wow, you reached the bottom of the page. Good job!