Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d articŁ∑
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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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*... that hitting the refresh button does not bring you a relaxing beverage when you are signed in?
- ... however, it will bring you a new clutch of Did You Know entries,
- ... thus suggesting you might be a masochist?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that hitting the refresh button does not bring you a relaxing beverage when you are signed in?
- ... however, it will bring you a new clutch of Did You Know entries,
- ... thus suggesting you might be a masochist?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that hitting the refresh button does not bring you a relaxing beverage when you are signed in?
- ... however, it will bring you a new clutch of Did You Know entries,
- ... thus suggesting you might be a masochist?
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I∩ th∑ ∩∑ws
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Ø∩ thi∫ da¥...
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December 4: Crow and Raven Revenge Day, Take a Crap Day the one day women poop; it smells like roses
- c.125,000 BCE - Tool-using crows are seen by early humans and copied. Initially amused, crows are aghast when humans eat whole cow pies instead of probing them for grubs and bugs.
- 1999 BCE - l337 5p3ak 15 kr34t3d.
- 30 CE - Und Jeebus sayd undo da poepple, 'Whoom doo yoo tink eye am?', und da poepple repped, 'You are the exhiological replication of our being, the vast immiturication of a higher homosapianism, the essence of zoology.', und Jeebuz sez, 'Eh?'
- 1596 - The flushing toilet is invented by John Harington. Charles Outhouse threatens suit.
- 1597 - Crows and ravens learn to flush toilets after using them but refuse to replace toilet paper rolls.
- 1680 - Ravens settle into the Tower of London by building their nests inside Beefeater's heads. Londoners think, 'That's so raven.'
- 1874 - Thomas Crapper invents an improved flush toilet, though historians credit the building of sewers underneath flush toilets to be the better improvement.
- 1898 - Crows finally get a measure of revenge on humanity by creating "Old Crow" brand rotgut bourbon.
- 1973 - Crows and ravens start to circle around Richard Nixon during his personal appearances.
- 1993 - Frank Zappa's reported death occurs. He reaches a higher plane and is reincarnated as a raven.
- 2010 - Rick James comes back to life, grabs 100 kilos of cocaine, then vanishes.
- 2019 - Edgar Allen Poe is resurrected, creates a Hip Hop dance hit called "The Raven (Nevermore Remix)", then disappears without a trace. A week later, just before the release of the album, all copies of the recordings of the song disappear as well, including all the pre-release leaks on Torrent.
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Writ∑r a∩d ∩øøb øf th∑ Mø∩th
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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