From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d articŁ∑
|
Today's featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.
 If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.) Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)
Previously featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)
|
Did ¥øu k∩øw...
|
*... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?
- ... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
- ... Nature abhors a vacuum? So what about brooms?
|
|
I∩ th∑ ∩∑ws
|
|
Ø∩ thi∫ da¥...
|
|
March 16: International Toaster Day
- 3 million BCE - Toasters battle waffle irons for supremacy throughout the world. Apple peelers become extinct.
- 1066 - Soldiers in the Battle of Hastings from both the Norman and English sides are set upon by wild toasters; less than two hundred survive.
- 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor of bread.
- 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since bread itself.
- 1392 - Toast is invented. Everybody proposes a bread to the inventor of toast.
- 1823 - George Washington Carver sets out on an expedition to the California redwood forests to study toasters.
- 1843 - The first toaster ranch is established in Peyote, Wyoming, with over three dozen domestic toasters.
- 1883 - Oscar Wilde's poem The Sphinx, widely believed to be a veiled reference to toasters, is published.
- 1931 - During construction of the Empire State Building, a fossil of a Tyrannotoasterus is unearthed, sparking interest in the new field of Toasteropaleontology.
- 1950 - National Geographic discovers that the wild toaster is actually a kitchen appliance.
- 1975 - A toaster from a traveling circus in Alabama escapes captivity and mauls four people and dozens of raw bread slices before being killed by local appliance control authorities.
- 2011 - A crazed toaster kills 1,000,000,000 people after it rode in on the earthquake/tsunami in Japan. It will hit China, Canada, and Russia.
|
|
Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d pictur∑
|
[vote]
| FoxSpoof.jpg - 22 fortresses besieged ( 27 / 5 )
|
|
In an effort to extend its presence to areas that were previously only covered by UnNews, Fox News has founded a subsidiary in Middle Earth to stay competitive on the misinformation provider market.
Image credit: Kharpert
|
|
|
|
|
Writ∑r a∩d ∩øøb øf th∑ Mø∩th
|
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects.
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
37,406 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages:
Prøtected by the Fair U∫∑ CŁau∫∑, a∩d a∩ ∑Łit∑ cŁa∩ øf U∩icød∑ √iŁŁai∩∫.
Main Page
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
