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Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d articŁ∑
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Today's featured article – Kashmir
Kashmir, apart from being a really swell song by Led Zeppelin, is the northernmost part of India, unless one counts Ladakh and Arunachal Pradesh. Its own northernmost parts are not its own at all; some are administered by Pakistan and others by China. The border (the "Line of Control") is marked unambiguously, as one does not hear gunfire before one steps across it, except in the case of incursions.
Kashmir proper is the name of a valley in the Himalayas, around the tasty Dal Lake, where you need to wear a lot of Kashmir, here spelled cashmere, or you will freeze to death at night. However, Kashmir usually refers to the Indian State of Jammu and Kashmir, or would, except that in 2019, after Narendra Modi recalled all the money and replaced it with brand-new money and got re-elected anyway, he got really daring and demoted Kashmir to the Territory of Jammu and Kashmir But Not Ladakh. The move was widely supported (for all anyone knows; there was no internet and telephone service for a couple key weeks), even though it involved amputating the eastern half of the state: Ladakh, a place where people actually cheer for the return of 9 months of frigid weather, as they will be able to get across the river.
As well as having a name that is the same as a cool song, Kashmir used to have a female Chief Minister by the cooler name of Mehbooba. (more...)
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Did ¥øu k∩øw...
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*... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
- ... that Tetris is generally considered to be the cause of the collapse of the USSR?
- ... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
- ... that Tetris is generally considered to be the cause of the collapse of the USSR?
- ... if you open your refrigerator door you will make a chilling discovery?
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I∩ th∑ ∩∑ws
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Ø∩ thi∫ da¥...
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June 25: National Redneck Day (Southern US), LEON Day (6 months past Christmas); National Catfish Day (US)
- 524 - Battle of Vezeronce. The Franks defeat the Burgers, and liberate the Ketchup Kingdom from its tyranny and confining round shape.
- 1620 - Rednecks evolve from the Pilgrims.
- 1741 - Maria Theresa of Austria is crowned King of Hungary in what is possibly the most confusing coronation in history.
- 1838 - The first use of Escher-esque architecture is constructed when the Impossible Children's Playground is unveiled. It is not well-received.
- 1888 - Oscar Wilde pens The Happy Prince and Other Stories, now considered among the first pieces of literature to use thinly veiled homosexual tendencies to illustrate life lessons such as hand-washing.
- 1906 - Shortly after the introduction of the automobile, the first barrel clown is seen and documented in Jonestown, Illinois.
- 1997 - The "underfried" volcano erupts in Montserrat. It would be sent back to the kitchen.
- 1912 - LEON Day is established by Congress. Americans must have their Christmas decorations taken down by this day if their house has not already burned down. The law will be generally ignored by ignorant people claiming ignorance.
- 1981 - LEON Day is now celebrated in China as the first day of making Christmas ornaments and nuclear weapons for export.
- 2008 - U.S. President Barack Obama selects a cabinet, yet would require nearly two more weeks to settle on an acceptable bookshelf.
- 2008 - Congress rejects Obama's choice of bookshelf.
- 2009 - Michael Jackson dies while experimenting with a new form of moonwalk at the age of 50. His nose would have been 22.
- 2010 - Catfishing online exceeds catfishing in a lake or river in popularity. Rules 29 and 30 are established but are ignored by ignorant people claiming horniness.
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Writ∑r a∩d ∩øøb øf th∑ Mø∩th
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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