Babel:96
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
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My favorite Word document[edit]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit]
Today's featured article – The Witcher
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The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.
The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.
A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)
Previously featured article – Chess pieces
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Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit]
- ... that due to the recent and highly successful reforms in education, grammar studies isn't need anymore?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA
History Channel[edit]
July 5: X Day, Day After We Kicked the Brits Ass Day (Southern US)
- 1565 - Pirates mark an "X" on a beach to mark the spot where they bury treasure. When they return, the wind will have changed it to a "v" and they would fail to find it.
- 1687 - Isaac Newton (pictured) discovers gravity after being hit on the head by a falling fig.
- 1689 - After outbreak of falling fruit, Isaac Newton officially changes gravity to 7.
- 1884 - John Singer Sargent paints the Portrait of Madame X but is fired for spelling her name wrong.
- 1946 - The bikini is introduced in Paris. Later, no bikini atoll is the trend.
- 1967 - The first kidney transplant made of Lego bricks ends in tragedy.
- 1968 - The X from outer space destroys Tokyo. Weary residents already have construction equipment ready before it hatches.
- 1998 - Aliens fail to turn up and fry everyone to a pink crisp. Godzilla offers to do so instead but is politely refused.
- 2001 - Cultists get seriously pissed off with yet another no-show.
- 2003 - Aliens turn up, but not the right aliens. Bloody mocking tourists.
- 2004 - No one turns up as no one expects the aliens. And, yup, they don't.
- 2005 - The longest fart in world history is recorded. It is not produced by an alien.
- 2007 - Deal or No Deal? Aliens decide to take the money and not show up.
- 2010 - The Church of the Subgenius hijacks the Anniversaries July 5 page. The massive improvement is noted.
- 2155 - Aliens almost show but miss a left and land on Venus.
- 2156 - Aliens finally turn up and land in Tokyo but flee due to a Gundam statue that lights up at night.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit]
- Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured)
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit]
Blue Fairies (pictured)| People's Action Party (Singapore | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
WEBRING
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,343 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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