Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
Links | Portals | Portals of links | Creators of portals | <M/ARQUEE> Links to portals | WWW
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My favorite Word document[edit]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit]
Today's featured article – Alexander IV
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Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit]
- ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
- ... that a new broom sweeps clean but a Zamboni does it faster?
History Channel[edit]
October 10: Not-for-Turning Day, International Day of No Underwear
- 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar while not wearing any underwear. He announces that turning is immoral.
- 1605 - Miguel Cervantes creates Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for him, Niccolo Machiavelli would always beat him for high score.
- 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns over a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
- 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous catchphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
- 1841 - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow writes the poem Excelsior, extolling the virtues of wood shavings.
- 1921 - Lana Turner is born and immediately gets into trouble.
- 1936 - The Ace Hardware chain is started by Walter Leatherface who really enjoys demonstrating the newly invented chainsaw.
- 1954 - The TV dinner is invented but is only available in black and white.
- 1955 - Jimi Hendrix is spawned from Buddy Holly's guitar and a rum-and-coke while illegally turning on the New Jersey Turnpike.
- 1962 - Transistors replace tubes in TV dinners.
- 1964 - The US destroyer USS Turner Joy lives up to her name by turning and starts the Tonkin Gulf Incident.
- 1975 - USA leads a search for a man named "Charlie" in Vietnam.
- 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
- 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Jim Morrison turns in his grave.
- 2006 - North Korea tests nukes. In response, America builds comsat stations; Iran upgrades zealots; Afghanistan makes turning weapons that have no use.
- 2015 - George Bush dies from a serious case of turning.
- 2015 - Al Gore is arrested for the turning of an undisclosed ex-politician.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit]
- Farage creates, wins crisis (pictured)
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit]
Dewey Decimal system | Zirconium | Sperm count (pictured) | Oganesson | Isaac I | Andy Burnham | House of Merovingian | Arthur Currie | Full house | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
WEBRING
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,409 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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