Babel:96
Welcome to TheCoolInternetWebWWWHomepage, the best site on the internet hosted by Geocities.
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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
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My favorite Word document[edit]
MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Now with twice the features!![edit]
Today's featured article – The Witcher
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The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.
The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.
A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)
Previously featured article – Chess pieces
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Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)
Tell me how good my website is.
The part of my site built with FRONT PAGE!!
Facts about me[edit]
- ... that Mexican General Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón knew at least three people whose names began with the letter "L"?
- ... that The Manchurian Candidate is about a blustering hotelier that is brainwashed by a foreign government to do its bidding when he becomes president? Oh, wait...
History Channel[edit]
July 2: Canada Day (Canada) (if July 1 falls on a Sunday (which it didn't)), Confusing Parentheses Day
- 1280 BCE - Egyptians invent punctuation but it would prove to be unpopular until the first grammarnazi schoolteacher is born over two thousand years later. She would correct mistakes on her own birth certificate just after being born.
- 873 BCE - The sport of curling disappears when extreme desertification strikes Egypt.
- 1492 - After becoming extremely confused by oceanic parentheses, Christopher Columbus arrives in The New World, believing it to be China.
- 1566 - French astrologer Nostradamus dies. Didn't see that one coming, did ya Nostradamus?
- 1698 - Thomas Savery patents the first steam engine, designed to mechanically move a horse's legs so as to reduce the amount of effort required to pull a horse-drawn buggy.
- 1755 - The sport of curling is reinvented when brooms are used to hasten the expulsion of Acadians from Canada.
- 1882 - Oscar Wilde reaches the height of his celebrity, arriving to the premiere of his play The Importance of Being Earnest in a luxury stretch horse buggy.
- 1933 - The jig is up after being down for over 40 years.
- 1947 - A weather balloon crashes in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. The Army covers up the loss of the weather balloon by claiming it was an alien spaceship.
- 1962 - The first Wal-Mart opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas. The primitive version of the store offers only guns, Confederate flags, and bullets.
- 1988 - Scientists discover the last breeding pair of parentheses in the Amazon rainforest (they later find that they were wrong(.
- 1996 - Aliens attack the world, destroying New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., everywhere else. Bill Pullman and Will Smith survive.
Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator[edit]
- Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured)
Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)
Other cool sites[edit]
Blue Fairies (pictured)| People's Action Party (Singapore | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism
Write my english paper for me!
Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself
Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down
Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper
 David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. |
 If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. |
Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006
WEBRING
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,343 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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- My friend Brad - He needs a bone marrow transplant LOL!
- My colleadge fund - so i can get a good job
- My web hosting company - Unlimited bandwidth and diskspace for only 50 cents a month
- Hersheys - They want to build a Chocolate New Orleans
- Oragami - Crazy japs
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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