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Sophia has inspired us to work on 37,292 articles since opening in January 2005, and YOU can view them ALL if you have a credit card or PayPal account! Hey kids! Before editing, please read the writing guidelines and flamewar manual. More Detail can be found in our Ignorable policies

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Today's Free Sample! Today's featured article – Bunsen burner A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs. According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...) Recently featured: Woolly mammoth Kalamazoo Kalamazoo, Michigan Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured when you become an EXCLUSIVE MEMBER. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit More can be yours! Join today! December 22: Female Awareness Day 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?" 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice. 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin. 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex. 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster. 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again. 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator. 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump. 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years. 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear. 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded. 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock. 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale. 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented. 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares. Archived Anniversaries	edit For exclusive news coverage, get UnNews PLUS! Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured) I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement Ferrell sues owner of look-alike dog Alfa Romeos to get even uglier Ukraine minister charged with corruption More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... That you can get Did You Know in your email if you SUBSCRIBE TODAY! ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... and darn it, I always get the Richard Nixon mask! Read More
edit Recent articles! Exclusive access for PLUS members ONLY! Norse Korea (pictured) | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods‎‎ | Henry Kissinger More recent articles
Exclusive PLUS member of the Month!!! GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,292 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 32194	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 55644	アンサイクロペディア 日本語 Japan 20675	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 18266	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14849
	Désencyclopédie Français France 10073	Inciclopedia Español Spain 5708	偽基百科 正體中文 Taiwan 6652	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 14	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 8002
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

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	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 7103	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3473	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 276	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 143	伪基百科 汉语 Commie China 8411
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2224	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 11	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 8281	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 4	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 4
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 873	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 1329	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 594	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 40	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 0
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9618	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4685	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2549	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 26
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 582	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 56	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 6213	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 47	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 19
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2853	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 9	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 11	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 10	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 188
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 463	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 30	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 170
​	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Holland 3082	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 19	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3971	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1899	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1776
​	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 258	Neciclopedie Română Romania 174	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 84	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1177	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4303
​	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 158	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 276	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 4720	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 12
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

Sista projects Uncyclopedia is an independent humor writing project, a non-profitable cabal that also hosts a range of other projects. UnNews The news source on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid UnTunes Where noisy things can live and prosper Games Another way to waste time HowTo Instructions and guides for anything and everything UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes galore Uncycloversity If it makes sense, we don't want it UnPoetia Poetry for people who hate poetry UnDebate Debating all the irrelevant issues UnScripts We can ruin stage and film too Why? Don't make me explain it to you twice UnReviews We'll tell you why things suck UnBestiary Moo! Grrr! Narf! Harblesnock! UnCommons Broken media repository

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