Oganesson

A diagram of oganesson. Since there are 118 small balls, this element is element 118.

“WE DID IT!!! A NEW ELE- Oh wait, it already decayed. Never mind.”

~ Scientists at Joint Institute for Nuclear Research (JINR) after first synthesizing Oganesson, circa 2002

Oganesson is a stupid fucking element, just like Francium. It is a synthetic chemical element, an atomic number of 118 and symbol Og, since it is an epic OG gangsta (#420BlazeItAllDayEveryDay #SWAG4LIFE #MLG). It is named after Yuri Oganessian, who was also the first person to confirm its existence (what a fucking narcissist!) It is a stupid fucking element because its currently only known isotope, oganesson-294, has a half-life of 0.7 microseconds (0.0007 seconds), which is about as long as the time it takes for a man to finish.

It has no applications in everyday life since it barely even fucking exists. Imagine a fridge that instantly explodes in your face when you want to grab a light snack. Actually, it would just explode as it's made in a factory. It sounds even stupider than I thought.

Oganesson is part of the 18th group of the periodic table (the noble gases), but it is not noble, nor a gas. It's simply there because it has filled up its entire last orbit with electrons. It's actually the complete opposite of a noble gas, because while noble gases are known as beacons of stability, oganesson... isn't that (move your eyes, finger or cursor slightly up to learn more about this). This reinforces the element's stupidity, since it somehow tries to LARP being a noble gas.

It is the current heaviest known element, but scientists have hypothesized that heavier elements may be able to exist (even if for stupidly short ammounts of time). The lightest of these elements, element number 119, is called ununennium; this is due to the fact that searching for heavier elements is an endless, sisiphyan task that will just waste us money, time, and a perfect periodic table (since it is perfectly filled as of 2026).

References

Periodic table of the elements

H

​

He

Li

Be

​

B

C

N

O

F

Ne

Na

Mg

​

Al

Si

P

S

Cl

Ar

K

Ca

Sc

Ti

V

Cr

Mn

Fe

Co

Ni

Cu

Zn

Ga

Ge

As

Se

Br

Kr

Rb

Sr

Y

Zr

Nb

Mo

Tc

Ru

Rh

Pd

Ag

Cd

In

Sn

Sb

Te

I

Xe

Cs

Ba

Lu

Hf

Ta

W

Re

Os

Ir

Pt

Au

Hg

Tl

Pb

Bi

Po

At

Rn

Fr

Ra

Lr

Rf

Db

Sg

Bh

Hs

Mt

Ds

Rg

Cn

Nh

Fl

Mc

Lm

Ts

Og

​

La

Ce

Pr

Nd

Pm

Sm

Eu

Gd

Tb

Dy

Ho

Er

Tm

Yb

Ac

Th

Pa

U

Np

Pu

Am

Cm

Bk

Cf

Es

Fm

Md

No

Compounds: Idiotic Table • Canadian Table • Euclid's Elements • Noble gases • Unununium • Unobtanium