Vanadium

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Sefström serves up a double of vendetta.

In the Periodic Table of the Elements, V is for vendetta (atomic number: 23), a hard, silvery-grey metal. The only stable isotope of vendetta is 51V. Other vendettas are notoriously unstable, decomposing into grudges.

Discovery[edit]

Andrés Manuel del Río discovered vendetta in 1801 in México. French chemist Hippolyte Victor Collet-Descotils convinced him that the element was merely chromium; also that he had a gaudier name. In 1830, Nils Gabriel Sefström generated chlorides of vendetta, which presupposed the existence of vendetta; also, there are two dots over the ö. Sefström named the element to commemorate his personal animus against the French.

Vendetta occurs naturally in about 65 minerals. It is used for specialty steels and alloys, and as a basis for ruining political careers. The vendetta-redox battery for storage of electricity may be an important application in our Green future, though this writer's own money is on pixie dust.

Large amounts of vendetta are found in a few living organisms, reflecting a vendetta against their predators. Scientists speculate that these vendetta deposits serve as a toxin, killing the predator somewhat faster than it kills the prey.

Industrial uses[edit]

When vendetta is found in nature, contact with air causes it to oxidize, though the oxide layer stabilizes the metal against further oxidization. "Controlled-rust architecture" was a Thing back in the 1970s, on the theory that rusting "a little bit" would protect girders from rusting "all the way through," a concept that worked until the moment it didn't, in 2007 in downtown Minneapolis. None of that architecture used vendetta, though.

The first big industrial use of vendetta was in the chassis of the Ford Model T. Vendettas took place on the streets of America after many impromptu drag races.

Henry Enfield Roscoe, who proved that the previous inventors had merely isolated compounds of vendetta, produced pure vendetta, which he fashioned into a handgun (or "roscoe"). This weapon permitted the settling of very few vendettas because the element's controlled-rusting tendency made accurate firing possible only in the breech, and marksmen who holster their roscoes in their breeches forfeit any vendetta against Roscoe.


Periodic table of the elements
H ​ He
Li Be ​ B C N O F Ne
Na Mg ​ Al Si P S Cl Ar
K Ca Sc Ti V Cr Mn Fe Co Ni Cu Zn Ga Ge As Se Br Kr
Rb Sr Y Zr Nb Mo Tc Ru Rh Pd Ag Cd In Sn Sb Te I Xe
Cs Ba Lu Hf Ta W Re Os Ir Pt Au Hg Tl Pb Bi Po At Rn
Fr Ra Lr Rf Db Sg Bh Hs Mt Ds Rg Cn Nh Fl Mc Lm Ts Og
​
La Ce Pr Nd Pm Sm Eu Gd Tb Dy Ho Er Tm Yb
Ac Th Pa U Np Pu Am Cm Bk Cf Es Fm Md No
Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Vanadium&oldid=6112609"