Moscovium

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Useless?

Visual representation of Moscovium

Moscovium is a synthetic element of the Periodic table with atomic number 115 and symbol Mc. It was synthesized by American and ONLY American scientists. People have only observed 100 of these because that's just how useless they are. Moscovium is a metal, or so they think. In 2015 this was recognized by an element and not what you see when you drink vodka. Touching this element will melt your hand off. It doesn't want to do that, it's just too radioactive. It should also be noted that it's very rude to pronounce "moscovium" without a Russian accent.

Discovery

In 2003, moscovium was made. How did this happen? Well... when Americium and Calcium love each other very much...

This element was not made in Moscow and is not related to Moscow in any way, shape, or form. It was not made anywhere in Russia, for that matter. Come on, only idiots would think that!

Those American people were also stupid and had nothing to back up their claim, so moscovium was about as real as the thought of getting an actual girlfriend. Their cute little experiments kinda died, so they decided to conduct even more experiments on what was left to prove that moscovium existed. Nobody cared about that so the element still wasn't recognized.

Then they Found Out it Really Did Exist

Moscovium wasn't an engineered McDonald's toy after all since some more of it was discovered in 2010 as babies of some other garbage element and found to be practically the same thing. The best way to fill the periodic table (or anything for that matter) is to duplicate existing elements and claim that they're new.

It wasn't until 2011 that people actually looked back on those weird experiments from 2004 to try and find some more evidence that the element exists. In the same year, some unoriginal German people went ahead and copied that experiment. Now they new the American scientists weren't on drugs. Only the scientists are drug-free, however. Now people knew moscovium existed.

And thus, the Powerp- oops wrong article. And thus, in 2015, moscovium was recognized as an element.

.

.

.

It still wasn't over though. In 2016 some studies made people come back to this element and reconsider whether or not it was synthetic, along with that aforementioned tennassine element you probably already forgot about. Moscovium seemed to already have over a hundred sisters, and they were being experimented on together with moscovium. It was seriously a bad idea to remind people it existed because it started a chain of experiments.

In 2017 the original creators of moscovium saw what they had been saying about their beloved child and threw a hissy fit. They went back and explained that those Germans were clearly mistaken and didn't analyze the information from the studies properly. They also explained how you shouldn't fuck around with non-congruent stuff on decay because it provided inaccurate results. People go very far to defend their creations.

Naming

Moscovium was just some sort of stain in the periodic table and didn't mean anything to people so the placeholder name ununpentium was assigned. What a cool name. Too bad it dulls down later. Some people also call it 115. Hey, have you seen that new element they discovered called 115? I haven't but I've sure heard of nobelium. Soon the AMERICAN INVENTORS of moscovium started calling it just that. Moscovium is not related to Russia or Moscow at all, they call it that because someone fell asleep on their keyboard and produced "moscow." "-ium" was added at the end to sound cool.

Then they did decide it should be called moscovium. There was a naming ceremony with tennesine and oganesson included.

Uses

Moscovium has several uses. It helps people out in everyday life. These uses include, but are not limited to:

-looking pretty -existing -taking up space in the periodic table -promoting Moscow -wait... there's a fifth use?

Moscovium helps people out a lot.

Periodic table of the elements

H

​

He

Li

Be

​

B

C

N

O

F

Ne

Na

Mg

​

Al

Si

P

S

Cl

Ar

K

Ca

Sc

Ti

V

Cr

Mn

Fe

Co

Ni

Cu

Zn

Ga

Ge

As

Se

Br

Kr

Rb

Sr

Y

Zr

Nb

Mo

Tc

Ru

Rh

Pd

Ag

Cd

In

Sn

Sb

Te

I

Xe

Cs

Ba

Lu

Hf

Ta

W

Re

Os

Ir

Pt

Au

Hg

Tl

Pb

Bi

Po

At

Rn

Fr

Ra

Lr

Rf

Db

Sg

Bh

Hs

Mt

Ds

Rg

Cn

Nh

Fl

Mc

Lm

Ts

Og

​

La

Ce

Pr

Nd

Pm

Sm

Eu

Gd

Tb

Dy

Ho

Er

Tm

Yb

Ac

Th

Pa

U

Np

Pu

Am

Cm

Bk

Cf

Es

Fm

Md

No

Compounds: Idiotic Table • Canadian Table • Euclid's Elements • Noble gases • Unununium • Unobtanium