November
“November! Isn't that a porno movie?”
The eleventh month of the Gregory Calendar, November (Latin novem, "eleven"; Hebrew, berrh, "porno"), was chosen to be a month after Einstein realised that it was, in fact, not a good name for a dog.
November is seen by some as somewhat of a striking month, as it was caught stark naked with Monika Lewinski in the presidential office.
November was originally chosen to be the last month of the year; however December sounded more appealing, and generally had more snow.
In England[edit]
In England many people associate November with cold. They would be correct. This is thanks to Bush and Blair’s War on Cold, or the Cold War for short. Some Geography books suggest that the war took place throughout the month of November, eventually ending on December 1st after lasting 32 days. Other countries, such as Iceland, that actually do experience severe cold, never seem to complain about it quite as much as the British. In England they also experience major uprisings and rebellions, due to a particularly rebellious lad, V. These attacks all take place on November the Fifth.
November 1st[edit]
Customarily, November Day is a national holiday that is celebrated in all countries that have a vowel in their name.
On this day people take the day off, whether they’re allowed or not and lounge around home or even go to nudist camps, where they can smoke fine wines and drink good cigars. Unless they are French and do that every day.
November 5th[edit]
Day celebrating the vindication of the violent vipers of Norsefire by the courageous V! Also known as National Get Drunk and Yell at the Government Day. Note: If you are deprived of freedom of speech, you may want to exercise Yell at the Government Day with caution.
November 11th through 19th[edit]
The only days that video games are legally allowed to be released in the US. As of now there are no records of any games being released any other day, as it would create a rip in the time-space continum.
November 21[edit]
- 1975: Queen's album "Night at the Opera". No, there is no Queen song named "Night at the Opera" and perhaps there never will be. Anyone who thinks there is a Queen song that shares the albums name doesn't know music.
The Truth About November[edit]
- November has only 2 syllables.
- It also has three
- The cake is a lie
- November has been in rehabilitation. Twice.
- November doesn’t exist in Germany.
- November doesn't exist in Soviet Russia.
- November has three children. June, August and April.
- November has a criminal record.
- November is Bob Geldof’s love child.
- November has come.
- In 1932, November was lost. Fortunately it was found again in 1933.
- November was once caught watching gay porn.
- November was officially taken off of the endangered species list after a massive federally funded rehabilitation effort launched by the Icelandic government was issued in 1977. Currently the amount of free-flying Novembers remains in the four to seven digit area.
- November is the most important month because without it we wouldn't have December, which is everyones favorite month because of Christmas.
- November was real reason the tide of World War II changed.
- November is when Cody Burgeous eats cockatoos
- November was put there to delay Christmas just to annoy You
- November was a god who grew potatos in his neighbor's backyard. But they weren't potatos, they were coccaine plants
- November is a month in which no man shaves (also known as No Shave November)
- November 18 was officially ratified as "call everyone by your second name even if they haven't got one" day.
- November is completely devoid of Vembers....hence he name.
See Also[edit]
| The 12 Months of the Year: |
|---|
| January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October | November | December |