Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.

The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.

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Highlighted Article

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OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj...

So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.

The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you....

Archive Article credit: GlobalTourniquet (more...)
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Music in the News

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MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"


Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
...


Archive Article credit: Zim ulator (more...)
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Featured Image

50 Mozart

Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)

Nominate stuff Image credit: Marinos Image archive
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Featured Artist

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Sergei Rachmaninoff, no doubt stoned out of his mind.

Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff was a famed Russian piano composer, whose primary goal in life was to make piano players really fucking pissed off by making his music as unplayable as humanly possible. He claimed to be a pianist himself[this is a lie], but all he must have played was some easy shit like "Chopsticks" or "Mary had a Little Lamb". Seriously, if he had any actual knowledge of playing piano, he would have arranged his music in a way that was actually readable, as opposed to the messes he composed. Either that or he was on shrooms when he wrote them. Or both....

Archive Article credit: Thekillerfroggy (more...)
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Lyric of the Week

No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!

~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
(more...)
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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes:Main_Page
UnTunes     

 
UnTunes:I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
PLAY>MP3

I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)


I'm what you might call an animal lover

Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees

But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me

For cats they are the sweetest, you see.

Chorus:

I like cats with mustard

I like cats with chili cheese

Cat sausages, cat fricassee

Won't you try some cat chili?

I think that cats are great to eat...

Archive Musical credit: Todd Lyons (more...)
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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles