Portal:Music
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
Highlighted Article
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| OK, so, you're crying because the angel did something that warrants the death penalty. That's deep, Serj... |
So you want to write effluvial lyrics like the official Armenian-American Lebanese-born Poet of the Overwrought, Serj Tankian of genre-challenged rock band System of a Down.
The first question to ask yourself up front is, whatever for? Have the countless critical articles about his inability to pull a well-crafted subtle lyrical image out of his ass told you nothing? If so, then this article is for you....
| Archive | Article credit: GlobalTourniquet | (more...) |
Music in the News
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MIDDLE AMERICA AND/OR CANADA -- Retail monopoly and threat to America, Wal-Mart, has told ultra-lame band Green Day that it will not stock its newest CD, 21st Century Breakdown.
Wal-Mart spokesperson Fred Habbemaster told UnNews today that, "in light of the fact that some of the lyrics are salty, but mostly because Green Day has gone from dreadful to unbelievably lame, we feel it is unconscionable to foist such crap on the American public. I mean, we have a conscience, you know?"
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UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
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| Archive | Article credit: Zim ulator | (more...) |
Featured Image
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Featured Artist
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| One of Miles' favourite things: Coltrane playing saxophone |
Miles Davis was a jazz musician. He played trumpet. People say he's black, but that's because they're part of the predominantly white establishment who wanted to pigeonhole him into one category. Miles doesn't like categories, and he said himself: "I'm all races at once, baby. That's what fusion was all about, don't you know?" Throughout his long career, Miles also redefined jazz humour, by being the most humourless jazz personality to ever have existed. In effect, Miles taught his proteges that it was fine to ignore the audience while playing, not to announce tunes, and even turn your back to them (to be fair, a lot of audiences turned their backs to Miles when he started playing syrupy pop-jazz in the eighties). You might want to classify Miles' humour as "black comedy"....
| Archive | Article credit: Knucmo2 | (more...) |
Lyric of the Week
“I'm a lesbian who uses his wand in a very special way butt butt butt.”
- ~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
Featured UnTunes
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| PLAY>MP3 |
I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.
Chorus:
I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat...
| Archive | Musical credit: Todd Lyons | (more...) |
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