Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.

The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.

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Highlighted Article

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If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys!

Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...

Why don't you start a Band?

Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)...

Archive Article credit: Braydie (more...)
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Music in the News

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At 11:43 last night, authorities were called to a home in California, where Theodore Seville, the drummer of Alvin and the Chipmunks, was found overdosed on a mixture of cocaine and sherbert. He was treated in hospital and discharged this morning, but his bandmates were furious and immediately fired him. In a statement, Simon said that "We have always been proud of having no drugs in this band, to the point where we refused to go on tour with The Jonas Brothers. For Theodore to undermine that is disgusting."


Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
...


Archive Article credit: Zombie gerbil (more...)
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Featured Image

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Featured Artist

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Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again"

David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.

He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music....

Archive Article credit: Sycamore (more...)
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Lyric of the Week

I'm a lesbian who uses his wand in a very special way butt butt butt.

~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
(more...)
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Featured UnTunes

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UnTunes:I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
PLAY>MP3

I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)


I'm what you might call an animal lover

Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees

But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me

For cats they are the sweetest, you see.

Chorus:

I like cats with mustard

I like cats with chili cheese

Cat sausages, cat fricassee

Won't you try some cat chili?

I think that cats are great to eat...

Archive Musical credit: Todd Lyons (more...)
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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles