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welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit. sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 37,322 articles since opening in january 2005. before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual. Browse: sukky shit | gaemz | complex deviecz | ppl | tiny stuff | grammer whorez coolest | everyting | udder crap...

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Today's featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. So let's fill you in with a bit of background. First you will have to be a Catholic and male. We know this may be an impediment to many of you but the church is very broad these days. The Popehood is open to all, but you do need to wear pants and not be a gossip. There is now a minimum and maximum age to become pope. You also need to be a cardinal to be a papal candidate, though that rule came in about 1,000 years ago. Since you can only become a cardinal once you reach your 35th birthday, that is now the minimum age to become pope. The maximum age for a pope is 80, a rule brought in only in the 1960s. (more...) Recently featured: Norse Korea Mark Levin Bunsen burner Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Norse Korea Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. (more...) u can voet 4 you're favorit articlez 2 b feturd. da kool stufz edit Selected anniversaries April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 1581 - Francis Drake circumcises the world with an enormous 300 ft clipper. 1810 - Canned food is developed in France. Cans are built individually by hand and take hours to make each one, especially in the case of canning a whole cow or pig that is always trying to escape. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1951 - The world's favourite missile, the Tomahawk, goes on sale in Wal-Mart. 1969 - The band Nazareth, led by bassist/singer Jesus, releases their most critically acclaimed album, You Shall Not Spam. 1469 - All calendars in the U.S. are set back 500 years. 1589 - The first Burning Man Festival is held. There were no naked renaissance hippie survivors. 1884 - The first episode of The Simpsons premieres in stereoscopic format. Matt Groening makes ten cents in royalties and becomes one of the wealthiest bastards on the entire planet. 1940 - Brits, after quickly getting sick of newly-arrived cans of Spam, use mortars loaded with it to shoot down German bombers during the Battle of Britain. The Luftwaffe then counters by attaching Jews to bombers so that their aircraft would evade the un-kosher projectiles. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell, I can't remember. 1986 - Some guy named Oliver North sells Girl Scout cookies to Iran and gives the profits to CNN. 2001 - The butterfly effect is proven in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition. archived aniverserys	edit In the news DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia (pictured) Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ Sunak soaked for General Election announcement currnt stufz edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... on a semi-regular basis, Britain is mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? raed mor
edit Recent articles Woof (pictured) | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten mor resent articlez
writer of da munth GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,322 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're doing much better now; we simply can't be bothered.

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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on May 2, 2019. We know you're simply bustling these days, but we simply can't be bothered.

4 nonsense related noob chat, see This instructional video.

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