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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


Today's featured article – John Mahama

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John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency.

Mahama was the candidate of the National Democratic Congress (NDC). His rise to office sets a variety of records: First President to be younger than the nation, first to be President in non-consecutive terms, and first to excel in hitting empty beer cans with stones from twenty paces (7 m). He has been an MP, pan-African MP, Deputy Minister, Minister, Vice President, and President, a feat known in Ghanaian political circles as "Bingo!"

Mahama started his first term upon the death of his predecessor, John Atta Mills, on 24 July 2012. The so-called Atta-boy gave a stirring speech to accept his new responsibilities. He stated, "This is the saddest day in our nation's history. Tears have engulfed our nation. (more...)

Previously featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope

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Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. (more...)

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Our glorious history

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May 7: International Daintiness Day (pictured)

  • 1274 - In France, the Second Council of Lion ends in a bloodbath. Final Score: Councillors 2, Lions 37.
  • 1776 - Pollsters in the American colonies find "zero interest" in freedom and democracy, find most are content with ruthless monarchy and doughnuts.
  • 1824 - Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony debuts in Austria, performed by a mute ensemble, to a deaf audience, and orchestrated by a conductor with no arms.
  • 1902 - The Wright Brothers and Dudley Do-Right set out to prove that 3 rights make a left.
  • 1920 - The Treaty of Moscow is signed, in which Soviet Russia agrees not to invade the nation of Georgia. It is broken six months later, when Soviet forces capture Atlanta.
  • 1961 - Feminine ultra-spy Mrs. J is sent to Cairo, Egypt by the higher-ups at MI-5. She finds proof that Britain is meddling with Egypt and informs her superiors, only to be jailed. She then escapes by disguising herself as a basilisk but is wounded by a thrown enchanted marshmallow. After being rescued and brought back to health by penguins, a grateful Mrs. J dedicates her life to being a penguin nanny.
  • 1967 - Pope Paul VI designs the miniskirt for Swiss Guard's summer uniforms. FABULOUS!
  • 1968 - USA weather: Summer of Love is forecasted with a 50% chance for civil unrest.
  • 1969 - The first man on the Moon does it in his pants the wrong way.
  • 2010 - The General Election result is realized in the UK. Suicide rates increase 10%.


Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
super
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK



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It is an irreputable fact...

You cannot deny...[edit]

  • ... Ham Chan is a 4chan imageboard on Iranian servers dedicated to pork and pork products?


More wisdom

Party members of the month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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