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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 37,335 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Today's featured article – Chess pieces Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. Though some rules of the game have been adapted slowly over the millennia, the pieces have remained mostly unchanged and continue to move in much the same way as they did for intellectual wannabes in ancient India, friendless geeks in Sassanid Persia, and social inadequates in Moorish Spain. When a game begins, each side starts with eight pawns (Australian English: Shrimps) - twelve short of a barbie. As the least valuable and most expendable member of your army, your pawns should be assigned a place in the front rank of the infantry. Do not waste body-armour or weapons on these grunts. Advanced players use terror and centuries of oppression to compel their pawns to advance unarmed and unarmoured across the open battlefield, even in the face of airborne attack from the Rooks. (more...) Recently featured: John Mahama HowTo:Become a Pope Norse Korea Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – John Mahama John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency. (more...) You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history June 7: Bus Stop Day 6001 BCE - Blueprints for a square wheel are rejected in favor of the triangular wheel. 6000 BCE - The circular wheel is invented. 5000 BCE - The wheel is reinvented. The saying "no need to reinvent the wheel" is coined. 215 BCE - Archimedes is arrested for indecent exposure. 8 CE - Portuguese scientists invent the first water-powered toaster. 1221 - Heinrich the magical unicorn becomes the first president of the North Pole. 1345 - Man invents the bus stop several hundred years before inventing the bus. 1555 - The bus is invented in Horsham, West Sussex. 1776 - The Carebear Cousins are born in an strange incident involving vinegar, a busted condom, and Bill Gates' mother. Care-a-Lot will never be the same. 1777 - The first water powered bus is brought into service in New Atlantis. 1783 - The Montgolfier Brothers have a really good wash. It was indeed an impressive sight. 1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after 91 years of marriage. Bus custody is split equitably with visitation rights granted. 1973 - Tony Jaa waits for a bus to the Coliseum so he can fight Bruce Lee. 2001 - Mary Poppins is brutally murdered outside Aldgate East tube station. 2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets satisfaction. His arrest at the back of a bus while doing so is later plea bargained down to a misdemeanor. 2017 - Self-driving buses start service and pass up people waiting at bus stops, just like in the days with drivers. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is [[ spumante]] Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that the Mayan colander was a drain on its civilization? You cannot deny... ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? More wisdom
edit Recently published People's Action Party (Singapore) (pictured) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent stories | You have a voice | Revisionism | Build our country | Isolationists | Democracy | Help your party
Party members of the month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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