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President Abraham Lincoln reportedly typed the Emancipation Proclamation on his personal laptop.
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Babelfisch is a Tool of the search machine AltaVista to the automatic translation of texts. The name is a support at the Babelfisch from Douglas of Adam' novel by hitchhikers by the galaxy. As also Babelfisch clear problems exhibits many other programs for the translation of flow text into other languages, connections to seize and correctly translate. Therefore the translated texts are sometimes incomprehensible to completely incorrectly.

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December 22: Female Awareness Day

  • 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
  • 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice.
  • 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin.
  • 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
  • 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
  • 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again.
  • 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator.
  • 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
  • 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years.
  • 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear.
  • 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded.
  • 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock.
  • 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
  • 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
  • 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.

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Month author and Noob

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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