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Trippin' Writings

Today's featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

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St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.

Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.

St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Minotaur

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The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)

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Da Past

I will eat your soullllllllll... MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

November 16: The Solution Is in Your Hands Day

  • 1532 - The Inca Empire decides to convert themselves to Christianity when the emperor receives a message from God in the form of a large bribe.
  • 1536 - Inca warriors land in Spain and begin converting it to a Christian country.
  • 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the New England Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian?"
  • 1846 - The letters "æ, ø, å" are invented by Emily Dickinson. She states that she needed a little time off and that she was really bored in the 19th century.
  • 1904 - John Ambrose Fleming invents the vacuum tube. The vacuum tube makes possible electronics and early computers, and it is therefore considered a major advance over the tube full of air.
  • 1915 - Albert Einstein solves the problem of Uncyclopedia's many inconsistencies and contradictions, which scientists had been trying to solve for centuries. His theory states that in fact space-time is inconsistent, and Uncyclopedia simply follows a geodesic line through it.
  • 1920 - Qantas, the national airline of Australia, is registered as an air carrier. The first Qantas airliners are Douglas DC-3s equipped with a pouch on the underside to carry passengers.
  • 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
  • 2001 - Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 4923 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
  • 2002 - The First Kandahar International Film Festival is held. All filmmakers in attendance are hanged afterwards as heathens.
  • 2005 - The 100th anniversary celebration of the Feast of Saint Bukkake is cancelled after the star of the feast declares "I'm full"!
  • 2006 - Paris Hilton... bukkake... Ah, this is just too easy, in my eyes.

Old day information

Author and Newbie of da Month

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!


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