St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
- ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
- ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
- ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
- ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
- ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
- ...that reindeer are never magical?
- ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?
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In the news
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- Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
- Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
- Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
- While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
- The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
- Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
- Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
- Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
- Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
- Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
- Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore
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On this day...
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November 8: Erectional Pleasure Day
- 1000000 BCE - On the plains of Africa, the Australopithecus encounters an eerie black monolith, and for the first time in history, stands erect. Moments later, with Also sprach Zarathustra blaring in the background, the Australopithecus realizes his hands are now free, and begins to experiment with tool use. If you know what I mean.
- 2059 BCE - Taj Mahal, "Man's greatest erection for a woman" built in India.
- 1173 - The leaning tower of Pisa gives the first sign of its famous erectile dysfunction problem.
- 1889 - Eiffel Tower erected, giving pleasure to all Parisians who deny any symbolic aspect to it but giggle while saying it.
- 1895 - Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen discovers x-ray specs.
- 1901 - Washington Monument erected as a reminder to all American men that their penis is more important than diplomacy.
- 1923 - Joey gets a new erector set. He receives pleasure from it. (pictured)
- 1972 - Man gets first erection on the Moon.
- 1973 - The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper together with a ransom note, convincing his father to pay US$2.9 million. For some strange reason it gives Getty Jr. a hard-on.
- 1989 - Terrorist organization Hamas superglues an 8-foot fake rubber crocodile to the Wailing Wall sparking outrage.
- 2004 - War in Iraq: More than 10,000 U.S. troops and a small number of Iraqi army units participate in a siege on the insurgent stronghold of Fallujah. Dick Cheney pops major wood.
- 2006 - World declares national holiday as men of every race and religion appreciate their erection. Lesbians are outraged. Gays celebrate through an ancient Gay dance.
- 2006 - Grand Canyon joins lesbians in outrage; Mount Everest gets very excited.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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