St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland.
Within France, the archipelago has the status of "territorial collectivity" because it sounds more dignified than "neglected islands". Its residents are French citizens; they elect one Deputy to the National Assembly — though, in view of the territory's population (6,008 as of the 2016 census, which was thereafter disbanded), he is only allowed to vote on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They are also allowed to hold opinions on Senator and President.
St. Pierre and Michelob is all that is left of the once-sprawling North American empire of "New France". (Quebec aspires to the same status, but every time Parisians hear that accent, they are glad they cut them loose.) Acadia broke ties with the territory when it became evident that the islanders were even lazier and more cowardly than the Acadians. It is notable for being France's only remaining possession in North America, and if France washes its hands too, it will not have any notability. (more...)
Previously featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
- ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
- ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
- ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
- ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
- ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
- ...that reindeer are never magical?
- ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?
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In the news
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- Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
- Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
- Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
- While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
- The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
- Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
- Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
- Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
- Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
- Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
- Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore
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On this day...
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November 16: The Solution Is in Your Hands Day
- 1532 - The Inca Empire decides to convert themselves to Christianity when the emperor receives a message from God in the form of a large bribe.
- 1536 - Inca warriors land in Spain and begin converting it to a Christian country.
- 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the New England Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian?"
- 1846 - The letters "æ, ø, å" are invented by Emily Dickinson. She states that she needed a little time off and that she was really bored in the 19th century.
- 1904 - John Ambrose Fleming invents the vacuum tube. The vacuum tube makes possible electronics and early computers, and it is therefore considered a major advance over the tube full of air.
- 1915 - Albert Einstein solves the problem of Uncyclopedia's many inconsistencies and contradictions, which scientists had been trying to solve for centuries. His theory states that in fact space-time is inconsistent, and Uncyclopedia simply follows a geodesic line through it.
- 1920 - Qantas, the national airline of Australia, is registered as an air carrier. The first Qantas airliners are Douglas DC-3s equipped with a pouch on the underside to carry passengers.
- 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- 2001 - Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 4923 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
- 2002 - The First Kandahar International Film Festival is held. All filmmakers in attendance are hanged afterwards as heathens.
- 2005 - The 100th anniversary celebration of the Feast of Saint Bukkake is cancelled after the star of the feast declares "I'm full"!
- 2006 - Paris Hilton... bukkake... Ah, this is just too easy, in my eyes.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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