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Today's featured article – John Mahama John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency. Mahama was the candidate of the National Democratic Congress (NDC). His rise to office sets a variety of records: First President to be younger than the nation, first to be President in non-consecutive terms, and first to excel in hitting empty beer cans with stones from twenty paces (7 m). He has been an MP, pan-African MP, Deputy Minister, Minister, Vice President, and President, a feat known in Ghanaian political circles as "Bingo!" Mahama started his first term upon the death of his predecessor, John Atta Mills, on 24 July 2012. The so-called Atta-boy gave a stirring speech to accept his new responsibilities. He stated, "This is the saddest day in our nation's history. Tears have engulfed our nation. (more...) Recently featured: HowTo:Become a Pope Norse Korea Mark Levin Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – HowTo:Become a Pope Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope. (more...) Lies Did you Know? *... Ham Chan is a 4chan imageboard on Iranian servers dedicated to pork and pork products? ... that in the dark, all cats are rather badly lit? ... Ham Chan is a 4chan imageboard on Iranian servers dedicated to pork and pork products? ... that in the dark, all cats are rather badly lit? ... Ham Chan is a 4chan imageboard on Iranian servers dedicated to pork and pork products? ... that in the dark, all cats are rather badly lit? ... Ham Chan is a 4chan imageboard on Iranian servers dedicated to pork and pork products?	Lies recently told In the news Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos (pictured) DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election Assassin shoots Uncyclopedia in ear Pope Francis revealed to be chat-bot‎ On this day nothing happened... May 10: Smoking Monkey Day (Kenya), Happy Super Good Fun Smiley Day (Japan), Step-Mothers-in-Law Day (USA) 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the scooter. 1512 - The Male German Eruct Choir is founded by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero. 1865 - American Civil War: latest score 23-47, Confederates on 4th and 10, no time outs remaining. 1940 - Adolf Hitler sends the German Army to vacation in France and Belgium. 1972 - The Day the Earth stood still. Klaatu barada... nikwich? Uh-oh. 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidently squashed by a hippo. 1985 - Live Aid Concerts are announced; starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated. 1994 - Eclipse of the Sun is caused by Pamela Anderson over most of Norway. 1998 - The German band Scooter returns the favor by dedicating How Much Is the Fish? to Amerigo Vespucci. 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale are spotted in IKEA. They are seen arguing over whether storage units are worth it and will fit in the car. 2005 - Live 8 Concerts announced; Bush and Blair promise this time things will be different. 2006 - National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA is organised by TAMIR, The Association for Most Ignored Relatives. They later set up National Younger Half-Brother Day, and National Grandfather's-21-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day. 2006 - Africa is officially on a diet – it's not hunger. See, pop stars have saved the world!! 2008 - James Madison rises from the dead to reclaim his throne as the greatest person ever. 2037 - Young MC turns 70. Irony threatens Earth's existence.
Today's featured eyesore picture [vote] Zoloft-seppuku.jpg Zoloft-seppuku.jpg - 16 total votes ( 22 / 6 ) Though Zoloft has been very successful in its ad for fighting depression on American television, it's had difficulty adapting its campaign for Japan. Image credit: RadicalX
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Writer of crap and Noob that we don't care about of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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