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DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa." Vote for featured image

Today's Featured Article Today's featured article – The Witcher The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula. The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered. A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...) Recently featured: Chess pieces John Mahama HowTo:Become a Pope Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Chess pieces Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...) You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries July 9: International Hug a Zombie Day (frighteningly pictured on right) 3000 BCE - Egyptians introduce Hug a Zombie Day when depressed, long-buried Egyptian soldiers rise from the grave and demand love. 31 CE - Jesus raises Lazarus from dead and proceeds to hug him, re-instating the Hug a Zombie Holiday, which had not been celebrated since the Great Zombie Rising of 455 BCE. 1866 - Cyrus Field successfully completes the Atlantic cable, thus allowing for the largest single transfer of internet porn in history. 1984 - Margaret Thatcher becomes the first zombie ever to hold public office in Britain. 1985 - A new age for Zombiekind is ushered in as a number of prominent zombies appear in a music video tribute to a decaying career. Unfortunately due to copyright laws we are unable to name the artist. 1993 - U.S. President Bill Clinton celebrates Hug a Zombie Day by allowing a zombie to read from Oscar Wilde's collection A House of Pomegranates during his weekly radio address. 1998 - Several Brooklyn residents are bitten by zombies that they tried to hug. Roughly two weeks later, they cause what is now known as The "Racoon City Incident". 2007 - The financially ailing Area 51 is forced to open its doors to the public in order to avoid bankruptcy. Thousands visit but are never seen again. 2011 - National Zombie and Undead Rights Day announced and celebrated for the first time. 1917 people become undead at the ceremony in support. National Zombie and Undead Rights Day cancelled shortly afterward. 2013 - Hug a Zombie Day is re-instated after a ten-year zombie shortage. Unfortunately, the world ended in 2012, leaving only zombies behind, who are forced to hug each other. Archived Anniversaries	edit In the news Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane (pictured) Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong US polls are broken ( listen) DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote Lebanon upgrades comms gear Ohio city goes to the dogs NE Patriots go "Judon-frei" Biden drops out, Harris goes large‎‎ Starmer wins British general election More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons: ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,342 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:

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