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Supergirl was born on the planet Krypton under the assumed name Meera Zor'el. After reaching Earth, Meera Zor'el hired a retired porn actress to take on the pseudonym of Meera Zor'el. Through advanced technology stolen from the Guardians, Meera uses internet chat rooms to turn herself into Supergirl. She also changes her hair color frequently to keep her identity secret.
Powers and Abilities
Supergirl has the ability to project massive amounts of sexual frustration on grown men and girls between the age of 16 and 23. This power was first demonstrated in Action Comics #60 when she single handedly caused riots in comic shops across the United States and Australia.
In addition, the ability to generate atomic energy out of her butt through eating criminals, such as Lex Luthor, (and innocent bystanders on a few occasions, when she really, really needed the methane, was starving to death, or needed the huge belly to do fetish porn to earn badly needed funds for the Justice League) has enabled her to keep planets where the nearby star has died warm until her hubby can haul a star by from elsewhere. After eating criminals, they are converted into methane. It is believed she converts all her bodily waste into various gases, except for a few occasions when she eats several thousand tons of "food" in one sitting, after which, she produces a huge crap. Unless she has a stomach virus, Supergirl will frequently poop out good people from the villains she eats; good people who are digested often come back as bad tempered, violent, or downright evil. They have a level of amnesia so they forget their unusual "birth," except for lesbians with whom she films having sex with (check out her website, even if Vore doesn't turn you on, her dieting plan REALLY works). If you wish to know how it is possible to form a good person out of methane gas, go look up science, the link is right there, here it is again, science, now go figure it out yourself! In addition to good people, Supergirl has created at least two super villain teams out of her ingested innocent bystanders.
When asked about her ingestion of innocents, she stated,
“Of course I feel bad! I'm a freaking superhero, I'm supposed to save people, when someone innocent finds their way into my gut, I could stab myself in the eye with Kryptonite! But once the digestion starts I get the best orgasm you'll ever hear of...Perhaps Nickelodeon didn't need to hear that.”
She also possesses flight and superhuman strength, but who really cares?
In 2005, there was a massive protest regarding Supergirl. Hundreds worldwide believed a massively gassy, man-eating and sex crazed heroine was a terrible choice for a worldwide icon and hero to children.
Supergirl at first took it all in good humor, as she had repeatedly admitted to her sex addiction. However, it became evident that the protesters were serious when she was bombarded with Kryptonite, well actually it was green erasers, but when it's the only thing that can kill you, you tend to cautious about it.
When it was outright stated that Supergirl was a menace like the dreaded Spider-Man, arch enemy to the more loved, if a bit violent, Venom, Supergirl took matters into her own hands. She tried numerous ways to regain trust. The main campaign she tried was "The Beauty of the Belly" Campaign, which comprised of attractive pictures of her with a baddie digesting away.
Eventually, when the Government was forced to give them legal permission to use a "Kryptonite Cannon" (so long as it hit "near" her, it was classed as an accident), the entire protest mysteriously vanished. When asked for comment, Supergirl mereley remarked,
“I wouldn't have any 'Urrrrp! idea where they'd have gotten to. Now if you excuse me, I've gotta take a HUGE dump.”
For seven weeks, New Jersey was flooded with shit, but it was New Jersey, so no one could smell the difference.
- In the landmark Supreme Court case Supergirl v. Nixon, it was established that superflatulence during a Presidential address could be considered as acceptable comment in circumstances in which the President later turned out to be a total hypocrite. The identity of one of of the informants on Watergate was discovered during this incident; Deep Throat was not discovered, but the identity of Deep Nose was later discovered after he died from inhalation of noxious gases.
- There are a variety of UN Resolutions out against her - one instructing her to watch where she is sitting after she accidentally crushed one man to death, another banning her from eating baked beans anywhere on planet Earth after she accidentally vaporized a Pacific Island with a Super Fart (originally thought to be due to an illegal French Atomic Weapons test).
- I'm doing Supergirl right now, and it's true, she reeks! But that's fine and kinky, she's also digesting my wife...she was a bitch.
- At one stage in her career she disguised herself under the pseudonym Busty Dusty. As most supervillians came to realize who she really was she had to abandon this disguise...even though she really enjoyed using the disguise and the name.
- Supergirl once heated the planet while the sun is extinguished (see picture above) and Superman puts a new star in its place, but overdoes it due to a bean burrito and created global warming.
- Supergirl and her friend Carley tried to figure out a cool catchphrase for her. They give up after criminals couldn't care less about being eaten after she confronted them saying,
“Mess with the law, you get a farting on!”
- Supergirl tried to release her own fragrance, but apparently smelling like twenty four billion people farted with a force of quadruple their numbers on you, isn't such a popular trend.
“My butt is nice and round, feel it!”
“I farted. YUM.”
“I like "justice"!”
“Hey creep, stop lookin' at my belly, my boobs are up here! Stop lookin' at my boobs, my eyes are up here!”
“Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got 20 bad guys in my huge tummy, and I think I'm gonna chuck.”
“Why don't people take me seriously? If I can't fart, eat people then poop them out or show off my vore-belly and boobs to distract evil doers, then how do I protect the world? Ignore my super strength and flight for a second, kay?”