Legion of Doom

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Legion of Doom.

“I tried to get in bed with Giganta... Until I discovered her horrible secret!”
~ Oscar Wilde on the Legion of Doom

“OH NOES!”
~ Everyone on the Legion of Doom

“Hey, I was a member of that group for a while!”
~ Rush Limbaugh on the Legion of Doom

“Oh, Shrieky, wanna get a motel tonight?”
~ Toyman on Shrieky

“Sorry, I'm already bangin' both Solomon Grundy and Osama.”
~ Shrieky on Toyman

“I am the genius voice of the Legion of Doom, and I sure as hell ain't no gay fish!”
~ Kanye West on the Legion of Doom

“That's what she said.”
~ Black Manta on Kanye West

“I love you, you love me, join the Legion of Doom's great big family”
~ Barney on recruitment for the Legion

The Legion of Doom is a supervillain team.

Origin[edit]

Brought together by evil pancakes and the Republicans to destroy the Super Friends, the Legion of Doom is feared throughout the universe as the most wicked beings in existence, due in large part to the fact that they framed O.J. Simpson for that murder, and because they hate regular pancakes.

Members[edit]

Lex Luthor[edit]

Main article: Lex Luthor

Proof that all bald people are evil, Lex Luthor is the leader of the Legion of Doom, as well as a closet gay who lusts for his archnemesis, Superman.

Lex Luthor as a child, after the toaster waffle accident that burned off all his hair.

the Riddler[edit]

Main article: The Riddler

One of Batman's lamest enemies, the Riddler is an openly gay supervillain who has this weird obsession with leaving clues for the police to warn them where he'll strike next. DUDE, DON'T YOU WONDER WHY BATMAN WINS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!?

Come on, Batman, we'll have a FAAAAAAAAAAABULOUTH TIME!

Cheetah[edit]

The archenemy of Wonder Woman, Cheetah was once this stripper and porn star named Priscilla Rich who lost her hotness when she turned 40, like all hot chicks. Then, when Wonder Woman showed up and all the guys wanted to bang her, which caused her to go nuts, and donned a cheetah costume. As the Cheetah, she went around cutting off guy's balls with her claws, then raped them, as a way to add insult to injury. She is currently banging Gorilla Grodd, who likes older women.

Black Manta[edit]

Main article: Black Manta

Basically the Aquaman of the group, Black Manta is just as useless as his archenemy, as his only weakness is air.

Sinestro[edit]

A former member of the Green Lantern Corps, Sinestro was a closet homosexual who was in a relationship with fellow GL Kilowog, and was planning to get married, until the Guardians of the Universe found out about this relationship, and banished Sinestro to the all yellow, all gay anti-matter universe of Qward, as the Green Lantern by laws forbid gay relationships. Once in Qward, he was given a yellow power ring by the gay steel mill workers and burly bears who lived there, since everyone knows that a Green Lantern power ring has no power over yellow objects, which doesn't make sense, as yellow mixed with blue makes green, so in effect, it should make Green Lantern stronger... DAH! LOGIC MAKING BRAIN HURT!

Captain Cold[edit]

One of The Flash's most retarded enemies, Captain Cold is a blue Eskimo who hates anything that's hot (not including chicks). His real name is Lenny, and as a child, he got a really bad sunburn, burned his tongue on superhot pancakes, and accidentally set on fire by his kid sister who was trying to burn ants with a magnifying glass. Vowing to rid the world of all things hot, Lenny broke into Mr. Freeze's basement and stole some of his equipment as an adult and started his war on all things hot. The blue skinned bastard also hates pancakes.

Scarecrow[edit]

Main article: The Scarecrow

Another one of Batman's lame enemies, Scarecrow's membership was cut short when he was set on fire by the Powerpuff Girls, who fucking hated guys dressed up like scarecrows.

George W. Bush[edit]

Main article: George Dubya Bush

Following Scarecrow's death, Bush was immediately made a member of the Legion. This was because the Legion was amazed at his uncanny ability to distract people from the fact that he blew all the country's money on "searching for weapons of mass destruction", which was just a cover for his plot to get oil from the middle east. Truly, he is the greatest member the Legion's ever had.

"Screeew you, Superfriends!"

Gorilla Grodd[edit]

Another enemy of the Flash, Gorilla Grodd is a super intelligent ape and Republican who was exiled from Gorilla City for being a republican, as it was their fault for the rain forest shortage. His superpowers are super strength and agility, telekinesis and telepathy, and throwing his feces at his enemies.

Grodd pleasuring himself to human porno. Hey, even apes need to jack off every once in a while.

Brainiac[edit]

Just this green skinned robot who fights Superman, doesn't like to wear pants, has a love of the color pink, and has this obsession with shrinking things.

Solomon Grundy[edit]

A big dumb ugly undead retard, Solomon Grundy is a nemesis of the freakin' BATMAN. He was born sometime in the eighteenth century, but his mother tried to drown him for bring a fugly retard, only for him to come back as a zombie retard. He was a member of this group called Infinity Inc. for a while, but was kicked out for being so goddamn ugly. He tried to kill himself by sliting his throat, but it didn't work, since he was already dead. He was made a member of the Legion of Doom, on the condition that he did something about his fucking ugly face, and decided to wear a paper bag over it to spare everyone the horror of his ugliness.

GODDAMN, IS HE UGLY!

Bizarro[edit]

Main Article: Bizarro

Bizarro am not Superman's retarded clone, am not member of Legion of Doom, and am not in closet gay relationship with Screech.

Giganta[edit]

Giganta was originally a transvestite named Gary who was kicked out of college for wearing women's clothing in public. After his sex change, Gary robbed an old Native American man of his magic powder, used it on himself, and got the power to grow fifty feet tall. He's also the reason Apache Chief hates white people. Giganta's one weakness is that, at fifty feet tall, people can see his/her penis (hey, SOMETHING'S gotta happen when your fifty feet tall).

Glenn Beck[edit]

Main Article: Glenn Beck

Beck is one of the six communists that exist today. His role in the Legion of Doom is the entertainer of the group with his insane theories such as: "Mario is behind 911", "the Subliminal Messages in Twilight that make women want to fuck Edward Cullen" and "Elmo is the illegitimate son of Lee Harvey Oswald". When he is not rambling, he enjoys raping Hitler and reading the "Barney the Dinosaur Has Some Fun" comics. It is obvious that this nut is sex addicted, and you would be stupid to have not noticed.

Toyman[edit]

An old enemy of Superman's, Toyman's real name is Jack Nimball, a pedophile who tried making love to a nine year old girl named Ashley, until Superman kicked him in the balls. Jack dedicated his life to getting rid of people who feared pedophilia so he could go back to making love to Ashley by using weapons disguised as toys. Thus far, he has not succeed, and Ashley has since left him for a nerdy kid named Jerome.

The infamous moment when Toyman discovered that his beloved had left him for another, as they were about to make love in the graveyard Toyman usually took her to for lovemaking.