Starfire
Starfire, also known as Koriand'r or something to that matter in her native tongue, is a comic book character who appears in the Teen Titans franchise of DC. She is the token quirky alien girl of the team, who is portrayed as being in the relationship of "will-they-or-won't-they" with the leader of the Titans, Robin. It is rumored that DC pushed the Robin/Starfire angle to get rid of the Robin/Batman gay baggage of subtext, which had been accumulated through the Batman comics of the '60s as well as the '90s movies of Joel "Rubber Nipples" Schumacher.
Origin[edit]
Koriand'r was the princess on planet Tamaran in the Vegan system. I bet you twenty dollars you are thinking of "one who does not consume chicken and other good meats"; you would be wrong, as the Vegan system is another galaxy. Koriand'r was in line to inherit the position that which is known as Queen. However, her older sister, Komand'r (Blackfire), developed that which is known as a rivalry with Koriand'r after she caught a disease after screwing some sparkling teen boy and thus lost her abilities to do super-stuff. In Tamaran, those who do not have powers cannot be a successor to the throne, so Komand'r was SOL.
Once when they were training, Komand'r tried to kill Koriand'r and thus was expelled from Tamaran forever. She swore vengeance; the vengeance in which she swore became that of which is called a reality when she leaked concept art for the systems of the defense on Tamaran to the enemy in which is called the Citadel. They easily conquered Tamaran and within the conditions of the surrender Koriand'r was selected to be a prisoner. However, she escaped and made some sort of escape pod and crash landed on Earth. This proves that women cannot drive no matter what planet they originate from.
Superhero Robin soon found Koriand'r who proceeded to attack him. However, she lost and then spoke in some weird language from Tamaran. Robin proceeded to make clumsy motions in order to signal he did not speak her native language and she then smooched him with her tongue, in an attempt to communicate with him. Robin tried to strip down, but Koriand'r pulled away and proceeded to speak English. Robin then pulled his pants back up and asked her what her name was. She said "Koriand'r" and Robin replied, "The hell you call me?"; she then told Robin she meant no offense when she gave him her name. Robin then said he would just call her "Kory" and occasionally "Starfire", then she asked him what he was doing, etc., and by the end of the half-hour episode, she was a Teen Titan.
Personality[edit]
Starfire is not a native of Earth. Since she cannot automatically speak any of the languages native to Earth, she kisses complete strangers to learn a new language. However, for the more difficult languages, Starfire engages in that which humans call "the making of the love" to learn the language. But this is not a problem, because her not being of the planet she cannot be infected by the disease which humans call "STDs".
Out of all the languages used by species living on Earth, English is Starfire's most fluent language. However, she does not speak using contractions due the fact she won't have sex with Robin in order to fully understand the English language. In this case, Robin is also subjected into the friend zone. Also, she cannot learn slang unless the two engage in coitus.
Trivia[edit]
- Teen Titans Go! had the Titans enter the body of Starfire in an eleven-minute episode before they entered the body of Cyborg, which could be a metaphor standing for the fact that Starfire has more of that which humans call "fanboys" wanking to her than Cyborg has of that which is called "fangirls" wanking to him.
See also[edit]
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