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Today's featured article – Cordial
Cordial, known as squash to Americans, is an undrinkable liquid that humans use to flavour the natural liquid known as H₂O, more commonly known as water. Drinking the pure essence of cordial without mixing it with water would produce an instant onset of Type 3 Diabetes.
Cordial was first discovered in 1628. As it grew on trees at the time, harvesters created new tools in order to remove the cordial seeds from the branches. In 1867, however, cordials evolved and migrated into cordial lakes. Most notably, the Red Sea in China was in fact a source for raspberry cordial before it was drained and replaced with normal water with red food dye. In the United States, cordial is referred to as "squash". Whereas actual squash are referred to as gourds (pictured). Or handball.
A Zooper Dooper is an Australian delicacy consumed on a hot day — which, in Australia, would be days ending in a "y". The juice of a Zooper Dooper is just cordial, but is marketed as "Super Dooper Frozen Flavoured Water" to appeal to children. The reason why a Zooper Dooper doesn't kill when consumed is that it is frozen. Anyone downing a dry and unfrozen Zooper Dooper should wait twenty minutes before going back to the pool. (more...)
Previously featured article – House of Antigonus
The death of Alexander the Great in 323 BC prompted a war over the spoils of the empire. This epic had a footnote named Antigonus the One-Eyed. He had serious ambitions to become the 'new Alexander' and once nearly achieved it, until he was killed on a battlefield, happily enaged in swordplay at the ripe old age of 81. Within a few years, his family became a distinct also-ran in the dynastic stakes, their military strength reduced to a few cities and ships until fortune came their way again. Though they were never able to regain their full power, the Antigonids at least retook their native Macedonia, where they ruled as kings. (more...)
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