Y

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“Y M I Y?!”

~ Y on Y

Y is the alphanumeric character that comes somewhere between the letters O and Z, and the number 17. Y recently sold out to the stock market and as such, frequently sponsors Sesame Street in episodes featuring women on women or anything about vaginas.

History

Y is theorized to have evolved from proto-voweltaic ancestors which roamed the Earth billions and billions of years ago. Later, in 1066, a horrific and bloody civil war erupted in France over Y's ambiguous vowel/consonant status. There were no survivors.

Continuing this bloody history, Congress decreed Y to be an unnecessary addition to the alphabet in December 8th, 1769, on the grounds that can be replaced by I under pretty much every conceivable circumstance. Y was already envious of I and his resemblance of an erect penis, and proceeded to go on a bloody rampage during the biannual Alphabet Gathering Convention Meeting Assembly Thing (AGCMAT). However, Congress re-assessed its decision and concluded that Y was useful in the popular internet combination of "( o Y o )", representing female breasts. Unfortunately, there were losses during Y's Rampage of the Alphabet Congress, the only notable ones being the annihilation of the letters "Þ" (pronounced "grojj") and "Æ" (pronounced "penis", and later replaced by the letter J).

Sometimes Y

The sometimes Y is a rare, but increasingly utilized form of the factory-standard Y. Evolving out of the original Y's bi-consonantality, possibly due to the French experience, the sometimes Y is now considered as a viable alternative in that it swings both ways. Either consonantual or voweltaic depending on its intermediate context, many of today's modern enlightened words are often ambivalent toward the sometimes Y. With cry, it is a vowel, as every nth word must have a vowel. But with you, it is a consonant, as every other word must have a consonant.

In some areas of the world, this switch hitting has caused sometimes Y to be ostracized by both the vowels and the consonants. As a result, the sometimes Y may be dropped from some words altogether. Kyrgyzstan dropped the first Y as it was a sometimes Y. The second was retained as it was unambiguously voweltaic. The dropping was actually due to a misunderstanding by the former Soviet Premier, his well-meaning young companion, and his biographer. But the sometimes Y has remained optional since, by the Krgyst people.

In German, the letter is known as Üpsilon. Wow, that's pretty weird.

The letter Y should not be confused with its antimatter counterpart: the Ȳ (pronounced "Y-not"). Contact between Y and Ȳ is likely to result in disagreement.

Symbolism

Y is the international symbol of a sexually promiscuous woman, usually found on autopsy reports to indicate that the female concerned should be buried in a Y-shaped coffin.

See also

• Alphabet
• Bisexuality
• Sesame Street
• War
• Dining at the "Y"
• YMCA
• Why
• Ｙ, an infamous impostor
• YTMND
• Because