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“O. p. uh z, #, i,/b/.”

~ George Bush on N

“In Soviet Russia, и writes you!”

~ Russian reversal on N

This article is brought to you by the letter D.

N in his snazzy suit.

N is the Nteenth number in the alphabet. He dislikes his job as number fourteen, and hopes to one day, move up the corporate ladder to number one, currently held by A.

History of the form[edit]

N was probably the least enthusiastic member of the Alphabet Corporation at its start. He didn't want to attend meetings, be a part of decisions, or even go to the annual picnic. He later stated that he was depressed because he was being confused with a sideways Z.


N serves as an symbol in virtually all languages that use the Latin alphabet. He is widely known as the coolest letter, and is the eighth richest letter in the Alphabet Corporation.


N's life has been a constant struggle, from the point he was first written, to the present. He had been receiving constant death threats after writing his memoirs, The 'N' Word, and is currently seeking to change the title of his book.

His likeness has been used, without permission, in many words he does not approve of, such as 'nonconformist','nomad' and'nibble'. Many places have used him in their titles as well. From Newfoundland to Normandy, N has been used in a variety of places. N, however, finds that his usage in names has been the most offensive; Neil, Neville, Nigel, and Norbert just to name a few.

N's agent said that "Nobody necessarily needed N's nod, nonetheless nothous noddypeaks nocent N's name, noting nesciencial nomancy."


N currently is the owner of eight mansions located around the world, two personal jets, and a shitload of money. N is married to fellow Alphabet Corporation letter F. N and F had two children, n and f. Together, the N family live in their Malibu mansion. It has thirty bedrooms, twenty bathrooms, two kitchens, three olympic-sized swimming pool, a helipad, a boat port, a train station, a five-story garage, and a built-in themepark.


As the fourteenth letter in the Alphabet Corporation, N has many duties. He has to fill out the language forms, be the Editor-in-Chief for the new Alphabet Corporation dictionary, and basic janitorial duties. He is in charge of hiring new employees, and is considered one of the fairest bosses around.

It is rumored that N, in his youth, also worked as a stunt performer for movies involving freerunning ninjas. However, he later stopped on account of gold addiction and fatal electric shocks from very octagonal robots.


N on the Forbes list.

N is still at his job at the Alphabet Corporation, and is still doing his best to move up the corporate ladder. He has recently been listed as Forbes Magazine's eighth richest person.