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Q during his 1000 year stint as a bejeweled rain catcher.

Q is the first letter on a computer keyboard (and therefore the first letter of the alphabet), and the most bizarre and ridiculous letter of the English language. It serves as comic relief in the stage performances of duo Q&A. Q is the letter that first defeated Mothra and used the giant's samurai honor to make it attack our big scaly friend in Tokyo. Its shape and sound are embarrassing at best and patently obscene at worst. One who is cursed with a given name beginning with this vile pernicious letter is often justifiably ridiculed for life. Quentin Tarantino, for instance, was ridiculed so badly at Kindergarten that he took to directing as an escape. However, if your name happens to consist entirely of the letter Q, you will almost certainly become an omnipotent and omniscient being who is destined for great things, such as wandering around bothering bald starship captains, or handing out cool secret agent gadgets that are then destroyed or argue with the Continuum over the qualities of Qness.

The letter "Q" or letters "QU" or letter "QUE" can be replaced by a simple "kw" instead of creating a useless character.

Q is also an image of when the letter 'I' beats his wife 'O'. This can be shown as I stabbing O.

Q, who enjoys taunting Mark Gottlieb and starship captains.

Fortunately, Q is almost always buffered from contact with other letters by U, a little-used vowel of ill repute. This is a sure sign that the letter Q is a useless, co-dependent letter that is utterly incapable of doing anything on its own.

The extremely rare "naked Q" (that is, without its protective U) is the ultimate lexigraphical abomination, and is for the most part limited to foreign pagan languages, and names of weird unchristian countries, like Qatar which no Godfearing red-blooded patriotic American would be caught dead in.

Q is thought, by some people, to be a deformed relative of O. Others believe, for obvious reasons, that O is female and Q is male. Most people, however, believe that these people are either idiots or Time Lords, and should be burned at the stake while being forced to eat their own guts.

Q is the reason for the Bush Administration entering Iraq, as it is the connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda.

The Roots of the letter Q[edit]

The roots of Q stem an early beginning from the Arabiq letter, Qfuck (During the first Gulf War).


There are simple recipies for a fine tasting Q or the non alcaholic kid-safe "q" 1.A simple letter l. If no l is availible, use an I, 1,/ or \.(use slash for kid safe) Now 2."git un' uh dem cir"Q"lar thingies" An O (0 or o can also be used) First cut your 1st ingredient in half. And stab it through your "cirQlar thingy" but it in a bottle and chose: Shaken or stirred, or baked into a piecake eggpie. Note: must be served in a "Qtini glass", shaken not stirred.

The Q Wars[edit]

Oh, was that my Q? — Recently Q has been under heavy fire by the villainous R Empire. They, of course, have the upper hand, since they own the territory of U_Topia. The reason for the war? X. EVERYONE loves X. R got SO jealous of Qs relationship with X, they started a war. Some say that Y and Z are close with X, and have been known to form a kick-ass dragon in the popular show Yu-Gi-Oh (You-Gay-Whore).

Alternate Universes starting with letter Q[edit]

There are several popular alternate universes that begin with the letter Q, such as Q-547 which is the universe which many comic book writers use to escape the fallacy known as "continuity" and the little known Q-36, which is strangely the only alternate universe in which Wikipedia is actually 100% accurate, the closest any other alternate universe has come to this was N-59 in which all of Wikipedia is accurate except for a small nonsensical entry on string cheese, thus invalidating the entire database.

Q as a name[edit]

It is well known that the world's second greatest conman used the alias Q in order to trick Patrick Stewart into getting thoroughly irritated. Since then there have been many imitators who try to emulate the original Q's annoying antics.

It should be noted that well spread rumors state that Patrick Stewart is sent into a frenzied rage when he makes any sort of contact with any of the previously named persons ever since the last episode of Star Trek ended. It is also rumored this frenzied rage was what actually caused the explosions in Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of the Second World War. People who have less of a moronic quality to their personality realise that that is a stupid idea and Patrick Stewart is a perfectly patient individual who can easily stand the irritation of the previously named persons if he can withstand the far more intense irritation caused by rabid Star Trek fans.


Q is worshiped by no less than three monotheistic religions on Earth despite his petulant childish behavior, persistent meddling in the space-time continuum, and clear bipolar disorder.

Q's son was made flesh and came to dwell among us as a gift to the virgin Aunty Janeway.

See also[edit]