Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.
Scroll lock
The scroll lock is a letter of the alphabet and is one of the most useful buttons on the keyboard.
Things to do with it:
- Call ManBearPig (Via Vonage)
- Press it. (It's fun!)
- Use X-Fire in games
- Turn on the scroll lock light. (It lights up the keyboard so nicely)
- You can give it to the dog. It contains healthy minerals, and fits perfect as dog food.
- Stimulate a scroll-wheel. This is useful for an old one- or two-button mouse.
If you remove your Scroll Lock key and get 5 of your friends to do the same, you will soon find your mailbox filled with thousands of scroll lock keys. Then each of your friends convinces 5 of their friends to do the same, and before too long, often in less than a month, you all will have so many Scroll Lock keys that you will never need to replace your Scroll Lock key ever again! This absolutely works, and is 100% legal. I have a huge stack of Scroll Lock keys in my living room.
| Letters of the Alphabet: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sleep | Web browser | Prev | Play | Stop | Next | Mute | Volume up | Volume down | CTRL-ALT-DEL | Launch Nuke | LOL! | Produced by N o b o d y c a r e s ® | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Esc | empty space | TV | F1 | F2 | F3 | F4 | F5 | F6 | F7 | F8 | F9 | F10 | F11 | F12 | F13 | PrtSc SysRq |
ScLk | Pause Break |
Lose Weight | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ~ ` |
! 1 |
@ 2 |
£ 3 |
$ 4 |
% 5 |
^ 6 |
& 7 |
* 8 |
( 9 |
) 0 |
_ - |
+ = |
←Bkspc | Ins | Home | PgUp | Num | / | * | - | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Tab↔ | Q | W | E | R | T | Y | U | I | O | P | { [ |
} ] |
| \ |
Del | End | PgDn | 7 | 8 | 9 | + | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Caps | A | S | D | F | G | H | J | K | L | : ; |
" ' |
←Enter | Oh, SHIT! | Any | Duh | 4 | 5 | 6 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ↑Shift | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | < , |
> . |
? / |
↓Shift | ↑ | 1 | 2 | 3 | Ent | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ctrl | FN | 
|
Alt | s p a c e b a r | Alt Gr | 
|
⌘ | Ctrl | ← | ↓ | → | 0 | . | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Note to advanced users: The above description is for Windows users. If you wish to go beyond this point in the use, care and feeding of the Scroll Lock key, you must install a pirated copy of Linux or run multiple OS's on a KVM setup. The super-secret scrolls locked within this evil machine are accessible only from the Linux command shell as, if a Windows user were to ever catch a glimpse of them, we would have to kill...