& is the 45th letter in the English language, the "pluralized" form of %. Its lowercase form is 7. The Committee of Letters believes that the use of "&" originates from the time before the keyboard when everybody had hand spasms from constant writing.
Now, the Committee is fairly certain as the plural of %, that & means "even less of a portion." For example, before 1665, someone speaking English might say:
- Thine penis hath not even 30 % of 40 % of mine penis's size.
Whereas, nowadays you would hear:
- Shoot, ya's wang ain' even 30 & 40 mine, foo'.
So, it can be conclusively assumed that to properly insert & in a sentence, you must be speaking of an extremely small size, such as a penis. & must be put between the two or more percentages being compared. Here is an example of three comparisons of percentages; pre-1665:
- Impossible! That woman's breasts are nary 50 % of 30% of 60% of that mistress's.
- Nah, man. That bitch's titties ain't 50&30&60 o' that hoe's.
As seen by the above sentence, & must be inserted between the breast sizes. Also, using & can significantly reduce the length of one's sentences, which saves
money for the Republicans trees for the environment.
Beware, there are many ways to use & improperly, and doing say can earn you a severe
ass beating reprimand from the Letter Police. The most common mistake is not using the uppercase form of &, which is #. For example, one might say:
- 50&30 of what I paid you ain't worth that little s***load of
potcandy! Give it up now, or I'll pop a cap in yo ass!
The correct way to say it though, because the comparison is the first word in the sentence, is:
- 50/7/30 of what I paid you ain't worth that little s***load of candy!
Another common mistake is to use & with words, such as:
- But I gave you more than 50&part of what you wanted!
Please don't hurt me! No! Nooo! NOOOO!
- But I gave you more than 50 % of what you wanted % !
In this case, we must revert back to the primitive "% of %".
There is some
war violence mild debate over how & should be pronounced (so if you've been doing it wrong up til now, expect a "reprimand" soon).
Most letterologists agree that & should be pronounced "ka-wah," but those idiots in Norway insist it's "and."
Stupid Silly Norwegians...
So now you know everything there is to know about &. Have fun with it, and remember: the maximum usage is three times a week, except on holidays and Armageddon.
- !! ONE TIME OFFER !!: To learn about the rest of the wonderful letters, go to the pretty links below.
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