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Why? "Because." ~Oscar Wilde
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Featured Why? - because it's good, that's Why. Good afternoon stranger. I see that you're on a boat, you're holding a crossbow, and there's an albatross circling overhead. Before you decide whether to pull that trigger and send it plummeting to its death, you may want to read this article, so that you might make an informed decision. One reason sometimes cited for albatrossicide is accidental negligence. However, you're not reading this article in order to determine whether or not you should accidentally do something you don't intend to. So let's move on. A less common explanation given by a man who has just shot an albatross is that he mistook it for a pirate. Don't worry: this is a perfectly understandable mistake.However, there are several key identifying factors you can use to distinguish an albatross from a pirate. A pirate will eye your booty avariciously. An alabatross will eye your popcorn instead. A pirate is most often seen on the deck of a ship. If it is circling your boat in the sky overhead, it is probably not a pirate, but an albatross. Given enough time, a pirate will solve a Rubik's cube. An albatross will never solve it, no matter how long it tries. If you have a Rubik's cube on board, consider giving it to your visitor and observing the outcome. A pirate is human. An albatross is a bird. However, be careful of relying too heavily on this test. Sometimes a pirate will put a bird on his shoulder in order to foil it. more Recently featured: Why?:Shoot the albatross - Why?:Vandalize - Why?:Do I need to provide this? - Why?:Destroy the Rainforest - Why?:Buy a Cereal-o-Matic - Why?:Buy a Cereal-o-Matic - Why?:My homework was late - Why?:Knot? - Why?:Categorise pages - Why?:Mickey Mouse Is Corrupting Our Youth And Destroying Our Childhoods - Why?:Isn't anybody watching "Pushing Daisies"? - Why?:Take Your Fish To Work - Why?:Does it burn when I pee - Why?:Get Drunk - Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? - Why?:Does Mads Mikkelsen not speak one line of dialogue in Valhalla Rising? - Why?:Put Down the Duckie? - Why?:Should Women Vote - Why?:Remove Your Penis - Why?:Will none of the other children play with you? - Why?:Rocket Science ain't exactly Brain Surgery - Why?:Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? - Why?:Divorce Is Good	Tools HowTo:Make your first Why? Why?:Make your first Why? List of all Why?s Most Wanted Why?s Why?:Featured Vote Purge this page
	Can't See Your Why? Add It!Recent Why?s Was my article nominated on VFD? Drive a Lifted Truck? Didn't Australia warn America about 9/11 Waste your money on nonessentials? Visit Belgium Drink blood Vote on VFH Register on Uncyclopedia Am I not outside on a nice day like this? Blocking users is fun I'm not sorry I ate your Unicorn Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work Is There Nothing Here? Become Rich Beat Your Children Use search engine marketing? Talk to Emily Deschanel Revert the administrators It's not okay to be gay I should probably keep my drapes closed Be a refugee from Encyclopedia Dramatica? Is my family pissing away my hard-earned money? Are motorists out to get me when I ride my bike? Everything Was Better In The Past College is for suckers! Sell Cocaine to Monkeys Why? Invade the Falklands My homework was late You Will Never Have a Chance in Hell With Her Mickey Mouse Is Corrupting Our Youth And Destroying Our Childhoods Voice recognition software does not work Is the Earth round? Divorce Is Good We Can't Have Nice Things You should get a new couch Care About Black People Buy a ShamWow Buy a Snuggie Watergate does not bother me Avenge my brother Brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack? You Should Never Mess with the Space Time Continuum Masturbate to that one chick from Mythbusters De-op every single administrator? Life sucks Does Mads Mikkelsen not speak one line of dialogue in Valhalla Rising? Does Everyone Hate Sonic the Hedgehog Is a raven like a writing desk? Reinvent the wheel Oh dear god, did you delete that article? Do I have this pungent stench? You Didn't Pull Last Night Not go to the Philippines? Eat a full English Breakfast Use a G-class router It's worth learning Bahasa Indonesia Everybody hates surfers Not fly Air Zimbabwe? Do I need to provide this? Electrical engineers are cooler than mechanical engineers Answer a question with a question? Some guy pulled you over, dragged you out of your car, and beat you to death with your bare hands Become a Butcher Is a Flying Sperm Whale About to Crash into my House? They Hate Us? Get the iPhone Write an article? The Pittsburgh Pirates Are Worthless Sit down, and have an italian soda Did I shave my pubic hair! Fight Club is a cop out? You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle Is Milky Way the best? Find a Why?   Make a new Why?