Why?:Was my article nominated on VFD?
So you're a new user just sitting there, looking at your absolute masterpiece of an article that you just created. You admire your work, the sheer ingenious of the article, the absolute perfection of it. You love it, you almost want to masturbate to it. You leave to look at the Bruce Wayne article, knowing that your masterpiece will soon join it in the fabled ranks of the featured articles.
You return the next day, hoping that someone will have nominated this masterful piece of art in VFH. You look at the top of the page and see something odd, a red template. Knowing that red is the color of death,[1] you think "It may just be a mistake". You look, hoping it is maybe an ICU template that was misplaced, or a joke from one of those hooligans up above. Alas, you read the white between the red[2] and see "This page is being considered for deletion in accordance with Uncyclopedia's deletion policy. This page may not fit in Uncyclopedia, or may not be funny with little chance for redemption. Please share your thoughts on the matter at this page's entry on the Votes for deletion page." You are appalled, how could your epitome of work be considered for deletion? You poured your heart and soul into this, plus some blood. But alas, someone had nominated your masterpiece in VFD. How could they ever do this? Why would they disregard and discard such a Mona Lisa of the mainspace?
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Why? This article is part of Uncyclopedia's Why? series. See more Why's? |
Why it sucks[edit]
You look upon your work,[3] glazing through the vast multitude of lines, accidentally chuckling at your own comedic genius. You read it once, twice, thrice, fourice, and so on. You repeat this process and still cannot find any errors. You think that this must be some kind of mistake. Until, you see something. You forgot to add periods to your sentences. You think, "Oh, that's not that bad. All I need to do is fix the punctuation." You go through and fix all the punctuation, including the periods. You then look at the work once again, admiring it knowing that all is fixed.
You remove the VFD template and let out a sigh or relief, knowing that it is on it's way to the VFH.
The next day, you find the sinister template encroaching upon your sacred page once again. You think, "One of those hooligans up above must've added it again." You look in the logs and find that your edit was undone. You curl your fists in rage, how could someone keep disrespecting you like this? You type up a furious 3 paragraph rant for the offender's talk page. You know that your choice words will really dig into them. Your mouse hovers above the save changes button. All of your alpha male energy has built you up to this moment. You click the button, and your rant is about to be unleashed. You laugh, cackle with pleasure that your voice will be heard. All of the sudden, an edit filter appears, stopping you. You cry in despair, and try again. Once again, you receive a message informing you that your edit has been blocked. How will you ever harass this mischievous and evil Uncyclopedian? You decide to unleash your fury upon your own artwork, looking once again for issues. Then, you see it, the grammar. The grammer, yur bane... You tremble wif fer as yu attempt to correct the mistak. You look over it once again. You finally remove the VFD and ICU templates, thinking all is finally well.
The next day, you come back to find the templates back, and a lovley 1 day ban for removing admin-applied templates. You boil with fury, steaming at the pipes. You scream out, awakening your parents in the process, loudly:
“WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP NOMINATING IT?!”
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over thinking something will change...[edit]
You repeat the process that you have perfected over 3 days. You look for errors and formatting, you look for unneeded penis jokes, you keep looking but cannot find the problem. Then you notice something awful... Your article is a stub. You gawk at the sheer lack of siza and girth. Your article is lacking, and it needs more... You work tirelessly, adding multiple paragraphs and pictures. After 3 hours, your work is done. You remove the VFD template, praying that your artwork will finally be adequate.
All for nothing[edit]
You return the next day, looking at yoyur artwork. You then notice that the VFD template is no longer present. You rejoyce, your goals have been accomplished. You kick back and finally relax, knowing you have immortalized yourself on Uncyclopedia. Something catches your eye though, a new template... You spot the NRV, and immediatly attempt to rectify it. Then, you find yourself unable to edit... You have received a 3 month ban, with the summary "Edit war, you lose". You are in a dilemma, you cannot enact revenge upon your least favorite users, and you can't remove or fix your masterpiece. You cry in despair, knowing your article is doomed. You ponder the shock, until you realize what you shall do. You must find your true. You create a new account after spoofing yourself with NordVPN. You go back and remove the template, and re-emerge from the ashes, like a phoenix. You cackle with glee, knowing you have outsmarted those pesky admins. Until, you look in the Block log. You see yourself blocked again, but indefinitely... You see the summary "sockpuppeting". You have been cast out. You are now one of the many.
Your supervillan origin story[edit]
You stumble... Feeling crushed by the might of the mighty Banhammer. You grimace at the thought of people "enjoying" themselves of that ship of comedy. You are now a Prole in the eyes of the Uncyclopedia society.
But let's give it a chance. The author will finish it later.
Or maybe not. Should they choose the latter, within seven days, this page will not exist anymore.
Now, go away!
Health Warning: Putting this template on a page consisting of a few lines or worse will not save you and may actually get you banned.
This page will be re-checked on 23 May 2024