Why?:Use a G-class router

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So you're deciding whether to get a N-class or G-class router, and considering you're a useless noob you have no idea which one is "better" based on your needs. Well, it's time you learn why you should use a G-class router instead of an N-class router. Quite frankly, N-class routers suck.

"G" comes before "N"[edit]

This explanation is probably the most basic. Let's think alphabetically here: which comes earlier in the alphabet, the letter G or the letter N? The answer of course is G. Because G comes before N, it is thereby closer to the letter "A", which in school means you won! Also, "A" is the first letter of the alphabet, and first always means best except in World Wars and sex. So which do you want: the class that is closer to the best, or the class that is not as close to the best? Ergo, you should use a G-class router.

N-class fucking sucks[edit]

You got an N-class router? Good luck, loser.

The second reason you need to use a G-class router instead of an N-class is because N-class routers fuckingsuckdick. My cousin had an N-class router and it totally blew. The thing sparked up all the time and nearly set his dog on fire. We tried fixing it but every time we touched it the thing was so damn hot that we got second degree burns on our hands, even when we unplugged it and put it in the freezer. We tried wearing gloves but our gloves just burst into flames, giving us second degree burns on our second degree burns. True story bro.

So my cousin goes and gets a linksys G. The thing was fuckin' weird smelling and it didn't really match his drapes, but that's okay because we pwned noobs on CS:S without any lag for hours. Noobs like you. Noobs that don't know why they should use a G-class router.

N-class routers cause brain cancer[edit]

FACT: N-class routers cause brain cancer.

FACT: Brain cancer is an unpleasant thing to have.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "no they don't." That's what I thought at first too, what with all of those myths about cell phones, and now routers? It's true though. My grandma who lived all the way out in Chernobyl was forced to buy an N-class, and a year later she got brain cancer and grew a third leg. Pretty sure that's no coincidence. You could ask my grandma all about it, but she died. Do YOU want to die? I didn't think so. Buy a G-class and avoid the cancer.

Your typical N-class router. Good luck installing it. I know what you're thinking: "Those look like a bunch of cameras." Well they're not, noob.

G-class saved my marriage[edit]

I am shitting you not, my G-class router saved my marriage. Back in the day I was unlike you: I knew what I needed for my modem because I knew what was best. I mean, my grandma did die from cancer and my cousin's N-class router sucked, so I really wanted a G-class router. Well, it was around Christmas, and my wife and I got into a huge fight. Christmas morning we still weren't talking, but we decided to give each other our presents anyways as a way of making ammends to one another. I got her a huge karat diamond necklace that had more sparkle than a chandelier. I opened my gift and guess what it was? A G-class router! Hell yeah! And then we banged all night long!

Ask yourself this: Do you want to bang your wife all night long?

Oh, you don't have a wife? Don't worry. See below.

Chicks dig it[edit]

Studies show that women are attracted to smart guys. Studies also show that G-class routers are the better than N-class routers. Once she sees your G-class router, she'll be so impressed that you made the informed decision to get it that she'll probably want to swallow your seed. Now ,I know that most women don't know dick about technology, but that's okay. Just tell her why you have a G-class router and how much better G-class routers are then N-class routers. You'll sound so smart, especially if you use big words like "modusoperandi", "hyperbole", and "laser hair removal". In fact, my girlfriend saw me writing this and is giving me a tugjob as I type this. She's THAT damn impressed (but don't tell my wife please).

Nothin but a G thang[edit]

Many people associate "G' with the term "gangsta" due to rap and jazz music. It basically means "cool" or "better than an N-class router" in non-Ebonics. This is no coincidence. G-class routers are gangsta as all heck. Don't take my word for it. See what Dr. Dre says about G-class routers in his song Xxplosive (the song title referring to his internet speed):

Suckas on the streets need to sell weed:
I don't. I smoke dem niggas with my high speed;
Suckas got DSL, suckin with them DSLs
On an N-class router, scream louder: oh well
That shit's wack, sucks monkey ass: not for me
So lag on little noob nigga, cuz I'm a G.

Clearly you need a G-class router.